A man walks in to a pub with a 6ft strip of tarmac....goes to the bar...."erm, I'll have a pint of lager and one for the road"
Did you hear about the bloke who was hit by a train?
He was chuffed to bits!
We bring you the news that BA will not be making any flights from the UK.
BA announced earlier "i ain't gettin' on no goddamn plane you crazy fool".