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Differing Perspectives

its only me Avatar
7y, 5m agoPosted 7 years, 5 months ago
Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and family values. Bill said, 'I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, what about you?'

Larry replied, 'I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?'


A little boy went up to his father and asked: 'Dad, where did my intelligence come from?'

The father replied. 'Well, son, you must have got it from your mother, cause I still have mine.'


'Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully,' the divorce Court Judge said, 'And I've decided to give your wife £775 a week,'

'That's very fair, your honor,' the husband said. 'And every now and then I'll try to send her a few quid myself.'


A doctor examining a woman who had been rushed to the Emergency Room, took the husband aside, and said, 'I don't like the looks of your wife at all.'

'Me neither doc,' said the husband.

'But she's a great cook and really good with the kids.'


An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years.

The Wizard says, 'Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you.'

The old man says without hesitation, 'I now pronounce you man and wife.'


A blonde calls British Airways and asks, 'Can you tell me how long it'll take to fly from London to New York City ?'

The agent replies, 'Just a minute.'

'Thank you,' the blonde says, and hangs up.


Bob: 'My wife got me to believe in religion.'

Joe: 'Really?'

Bob: 'Yeah. Until I married her I didn't believe in Hell.'


A man is recovering from surgery when the Surgical Nurse appears and asks him how he is feeling.

'I'm O. K. but I didn't like the four letter-words the doctor used in surgery,' he answered.

'What did he say,' asked the nurse.



The graveside service just barely finished, when there was massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the distance.

The little old man looked at the Vicar and calmly said, 'Well, she's arrived there.'
its only me Avatar
7y, 5m agoPosted 7 years, 5 months ago

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Jethro once said

A son asks his Dad
"What's the difference between theory and reality?"
Dad says "Ask your Mom if she would make love to the milkman for 1million pounds"
The son did this , and his Mum said "Yes"
His Dad says" Now go and ask your sister if she would make love to the postman for 2 million pounds"
The son did this and his sister said "Yes"
"Well there you are son, in Theory we are sitting on 3 millions pounds, but in reality we're living with 2 working ladies"

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