Do you think we are being mean? - HotUKDeals
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Do you think we are being mean?

wishihadadonkey Avatar
[mod] 6y, 11m agoPosted 6 years, 11 months ago
As some of you know, we had a little baby girl nearly 10 weeks ago, it's my husbands 1st child ( we are both 40+ ), my mother in law lives 20 miles away, owns several cars etc, is retired, fit and healthy but has only been to see us once in10 weeks, then she turned up with her new husband of 2 years, 3 hours late and stayed half hour, then went, they visit his daughter/grandaughter every 2 days at least ( albeit they only live 5 mins away from them), she's emailed once and txt once in that time too, yet last night she rings up and wanted to pop round with a few bits, telling us it would be a flying visit as she was busy, my husband said no it wasn't convenient, so she got upset that we couldn't fit in with her plans.
Feeling a bit guilty today!
wishihadadonkey Avatar
[mod] 6y, 11m agoPosted 6 years, 11 months ago
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#1
I'd be happy if my mother in law only came once in 10 weeks and only made flying visits!....nothing to feel guilty about....everyone has a life
#2
she's taking the ****
#3
Husband=MIL his problem :)

I always find in families (that I know) there always seems to be 'threads' that are closer than others, eg Im very close to my dads side of the family, whereas my aunties family is close to my mums side....its not that we dislike each other, but its just the way it goes....seems the same with friends families

Dont feel guilty, she has known your address, numbers for the past 10 weeks so its her problem for not getting in touch more then....grandkids arent just for xmas :)
#4
Maybe she is trying to be tactful in her own way and not be an interfering mother-in-law
banned#5
i dont tend to put conditions down on when anyone can visit me, they either do or they dont, if im in i am in and anyone is welcome, the same as no one puts conditions down on when i can visit
#6
sassie
i dont tend to put conditions down on when anyone can visit me, they either do or they dont, if im in i am in and anyone is welcome, the same as no one puts conditions down on when i can visit


I will be round christmas Eve :thumbsup:
#7
no hon - dont feel guilty - and dont dwell on it - you have your gorgeous baby and your man

have a lovely first xmas with baby

**

i had similiar when 1st dd was born - oh stepmum had car lived 50 miles away - didnt visit and dd was in scbu for a month - my mum - a lot older travelled 200+ miles to visit

sod' em
#8
we all get along so its easy
#9
No your not mean. You can't drop everything just coz she wants to pop in for 5 mins! Obviously visits must be planned as she lives 20miles away but surely she can visit some other time, she's blooming retiered they have all the time in the world!

I would be a bit annoyed about her not visiting often especially as she is seeing her husbands grandchild. Maybe it's for the best that she aint round often just imagine she lived 5 mins from you, she might be round every 2days!
#10
Abz
I'd be happy if my mother in law only came once in 10 weeks and only made flying visits!....nothing to feel guilty about....everyone has a life


^^^^^This^^^^^
[mod][Moderator] 1 Like #11
queenlush
Maybe she is trying to be tactful in her own way and not be an interfering mother-in-law


I don't think so, the only email she sent was in reply to some photos we emailed her, and that was to complain that we'd clogged her inbox up so could we send less next time:?
[mod][Moderator] 1 Like #12
Alfonse
we all get along so its easy


Well I thought we did:?
#13
wishihadadonkey
I don't think so, the only email she sent was in reply to some photos we emailed her, and that was to complain that we'd clogged her inbox up so could we send less next time:?


Oh dear she doesn't sound very pleasant. I was lucky, my mother in law was an absolute sweetheart. I wouldn't feel guilty then.
#14
Hi,
I wouldnt worry about it! In reg to the pics you sent, surely she would be the first to complain if you didnt send any at all!!! You cant keep everyone happy all of the time, if she is the type to moan about things, she will always find something to moan about anyway!
#15
kiss your husband on the cheek and don't feel guilty...
#16
Thats families for you! Do what you want and don't feel guilty just because shes clicked her fingers. this is your first christmas with your baby so enjoy. I moved 6 years ago in between my mums and his mums!(10 mins walk) what a joke his mums not been here this year, and any other time she does turn up its because shes passing but doesn't want to stay freezing at the bus stop waiting for the next one lol my moto is waith till they want somthing! Do what you want hun
#17
LOL we havent seen my Mother in Law for years, and want to keep it that way (shes a !schizophrenic arsonist - SERIOUS) she doesnt even know where we live
#18
dont feel too guilty when you find out one day shes dead and you've been mean....jus sayin'


Why dont you just ring her to arrange a visit over the coming weeks
#19
These are your inlaws? I'd be delighted they lived that far away. Don't get on with mine at all. Constantly interfering and undermining us both.
#20
I have 4 kids (2 girls and Twin boys), our mother in law...doesnt really see any of them, she only comes around when we wants something with the Queens head on it......Your not being mean....Some people only care about themselves........Normally caused by being a young mother (or dad), didnt get space that most of us have had without child in the room or they are just a T.w.a.t
[mod][Moderator] 1 Like #21
numptyj
dont feel too guilty when you find out one day shes dead and you've been mean....jus sayin'


Why dont you just ring her to arrange a visit over the coming weeks


Happy Christmas to you to, but seriously would you ring, when she rang to come over, the first words out of her mouth were, can't stop long, quick dash in / out, won't disturb the baby, to me that shows just how much she really cares, she was told by my sil that there is a 80% chance that my baby will be facing a 8 hour op on her skull in the new year, which we will know for definate on 4th Jan, and all she said was, oh what a shame, hope it doesn't clash with our cruise we've got booked
#22
wishihadadonkey
Happy Christmas to you to, but seriously would you ring, when she rang to come over, the first words out of her mouth were, can't stop long, quick dash in / out, won't disturb the baby, to me that shows just how much she really cares, she was told by my sil that there is a 80% chance that my baby will be facing a 8 hour op on her skull in the new year, which we will know for definate on 4th Jan, and all she said was, oh what a shame, hope it doesn't clash with our cruise we've got booked


owned

guess that sums up where her priorities lie.

I wouldn't feel too guilty tbh is shes like that then forget about it


:santa: :stocking:Merry Christmas btw :stocking: :santa:
#23
Don't let her stress you out and ruin your christmas, she dosen't sound like shes worth it! I'm sure your little one has all the love she needs without a nan who dosen't really bother.
Have a happy christmas :santa: Hope your little one is ok.

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