Does It Hurt When I Do This? - HotUKDeals
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Does It Hurt When I Do This?

snowtiger Avatar
8y, 5m agoPosted 8 years, 5 months ago
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A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and claims that her body hurts wherever she touches it.

"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."

The redhead takes her finger, pushes on her left knee and screams in pain. Then she pushes her elbow and screams in even more. She pushes her stomach and screams and then she pushes her ankle and screams even louder. Everywhere she touched made her scream.

The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?

"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."

"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."
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snowtiger Avatar
8y, 5m agoPosted 8 years, 5 months ago
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#1
Lmao!!!!
#2
A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started." Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?" The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."
Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.
He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger." He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then..." He sighed...
"Let's put all the Frosted Flakes back in the box..."
#3
It doesn't hurt to take a hard look at yourself from time to time, and this should help get you started:
During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.
"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon,a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."
"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."
"No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"
#4
thats awesome
banned#5
both funny :thumbsup:
banned#6
snowtiger
A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started." Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?" The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."
Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.
He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger." He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then..." He sighed...
"Let's put all the Frosted Flakes back in the box..."


Funniest I've heard for years! :giggle::giggle:
#7
Heard no.2 before no.1 very funny!
#8
[CENTER]http://www.funnyjoke.net/images/blondeacupuncture.gif[/CENTER]
#9
Wisdom With A Smile


Remember, once you get over the hill, you'll begin to pick up speed.
I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food.
If it weren't for STRESS, I'd have no energy at all.
Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some, like me, just don't have any film.
I always know God won't give me more than I can handle, bu! there are times I wish He didn't trust me quite so much.
Never be too open minded, your brains could fall out.
Just going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
Some days are a total waste of makeup.
Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

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