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Domestic Violence

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So the people think that domestic violence is only to females when theres a stark fact that males get abused too and alot of it gets swept under the carpet or unreported. So if you knew of a male w… Read More
kick_u_in_the_nuts Avatar
8m, 1w agoPosted 8 months, 1 week ago
So the people think that domestic violence is only to females when theres a stark fact that males get abused too and alot of it gets swept under the carpet or unreported.

So if you knew of a male who was physically or mentally abused by a female what advice would you give particulary so when the couple have young children together
kick_u_in_the_nuts Avatar
8m, 1w agoPosted 8 months, 1 week ago
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(5)
12 Likes
I would ban usernames referencing violence against men.
10 Likes
Same advice I would give to a woman, get out of the relationship, if not for yourself then for the child. I know it's easier said than done but staying in an abusive relationship will not fix it. They both need to seek help and once they've both dealt with their own individual issues they can try again.
6 Likes
My brother has lost everything because of his Mrs for 5 years not getting to see his kids nobody believed him and she took the kids with her he tried telling people she was nuts nobody cared social services have been involved for over 3 years and about 18 months ago my brother made an application to court social services tried to say it's his fault he was a stay away dad (not the case) he tried everything to see his kids. The court case is over nearly now after long battle with social services they finally removed the kids from the mum about 6 months ago after realising they backed the wrong person and my brother should get them this coming January if all goes to plan. Moral of the story the whole system is against males nobody believes them a woman can say almost anything. My brothers kids have missed 5 years with their dad all because of a selfish woman who convinced everyone she was the victim. The courts finally realised who was telling the truth but the process is way too long.
5 Likes
kick_u_in_the_nuts
...what advice would you give particulary so when the couple have young children together

[ http://new.mankind.org.uk ]
---
Call 01823 334244

Confidential helpline for male victims of domestic abuse and domestic violence

Weekdays 10am to 4pm

Call 999 if in immediate danger
---
5 Likes
make your plan to leave do not tell anyone, this is important, a do gooder could decide to try and get you both sorted, this happend to my aunt, and she got another hiding for it,

When you chose your date stick to it, even if they have been nice to you, the violence will never end even if you think it will, it only stops when u r no longer together, make sure you have a place to go again do not tell anyone about this, talk to the help lines for advice

Good luckI will pray for you

It will be hard but better than a life of violence, and later in life the kids will thank you for it

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3 Likes #1
get him to seek some advice from a support group- there are some specifically for men with people who have been through it too and possibly a solicitor. it wont stop and will only get worse this will also impact on the children, be there for him and listen. he has to be ready to address it but you can help and support him.
banned 1 Like #2
I think you must live under a stone if you believe it only affects females.

Best of luck I know it must be hard. Try be strong and do what you feel is best.

There is support out there so please use it.
12 Likes #3
I would ban usernames referencing violence against men.
banned#4
Rubisco
I would ban usernames referencing violence against men.

I was tempted to say the username couldn't be more suitable but I didn't have it in me.
5 Likes #5
kick_u_in_the_nuts
...what advice would you give particulary so when the couple have young children together

[ http://new.mankind.org.uk ]
---
Call 01823 334244

Confidential helpline for male victims of domestic abuse and domestic violence

Weekdays 10am to 4pm

Call 999 if in immediate danger
---
10 Likes #6
Same advice I would give to a woman, get out of the relationship, if not for yourself then for the child. I know it's easier said than done but staying in an abusive relationship will not fix it. They both need to seek help and once they've both dealt with their own individual issues they can try again.
banned 4 Likes #7
Make sure all his family & friends know.

Because if the woman is that violent & controlling then she will tell the police that she is the victim just to get another one over her partner.

Trust me on this one.
banned 4 Likes #8
How long has this been happening? Recent or is it a constant event?

Have you bit your lip for the kids and finally reached the end of your tether?

I hope someone can suggest a suitable forum for you because this isn't it.There must be a forum out there that specialises in this with people who have overcome it and people who are going through it.

I apologise on behalf of anyone who will make a joke in here even if it isn't meant to offend but I know you won't see it like that.

You can always PM me too I am more than happy to help however I can.
4 Likes #9
No one should be a victim, male or female. Walking away will often seem impossible but it's the only logical solution. I hope they get all the help and support they need.
banned 1 Like #10
Just look at this for how society is so uneducated.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=7PR5ryhnYtQ
#11
There is a domestic violence helpline. They are working in the police and will come out and see you to discuss what they can do to help, such as alarms etc.
banned 2 Likes #12
PM'd you
banned#13
YouDontWantToKnow
PM'd you

Good man.
#14
I'd suggest getting off here and googling charities, they will offer support well some of them will.

Phone the samaritines if you need to vent.

Phone police if **** kicks off.
#15
Rubisco
I would ban usernames referencing violence against men.
... and squirrels!
banned 2 Likes #16
Glad to see that muppets comments have gone.

Well done mods.
banned#17
Error440

Phone police if **** kicks off.

You have no idea. The first & only position of the Police is to blame & isolate the male from the household. If you want to test this theory then next time you have a row with your missus dial 999 & see what happens.
2 Likes #18
Error440
Phone police if **** kicks off.
YouDontWantToKnow
You have no idea. ...next time you have a row with your missus dial 999 & see what happens.

Oh dear.
#19
YouDontWantToKnow
Error440

Phone police if **** kicks off.
You have no idea. The first & only position of the Police is to blame & isolate the male from the household. If you want to test this theory then next time you have a row with your missus dial 999 & see what happens.


First off I'm female, secondly the man of the house has lost his marbles and thirdly when I went to the police they implied it took two to tango and told me to go see if I could get on the council housing list.
banned#20
fanpages
Error440
Phone police if **** kicks off.
YouDontWantToKnow
You have no idea. ...next time you have a row with your missus dial 999 & see what happens.
Oh dear.
Who cares? The comment still stands.
#21
MrScotchBonnet
Who cares? The comment still stands.

I refer you to comment #20.
banned 1 Like #22
fanpages

Oh dear.

Yep and? I have been through a divorce & she wasnt even living in the house but used to come around causing trouble & after not getting her way for after a couple of hours of abuse from her used to call 999. So instead of going home to where she lived (taking our kids with her) got me arrested twice.. Because my friend. They always REMOVE THE MALE

Edit........ No charges for me but a blatant advantage taken by her & applied by the police.

Edited By: YouDontWantToKnow on Nov 11, 2016 23:03
banned#23
fanpages
MrScotchBonnet
Who cares? The comment still stands.
I refer you to comment #20.

Your comment was before comment #20 was even active.
#24
YouDontWantToKnow
...They always REMOVE THE MALE

I refer you to comment #20.
2 Likes #25
MrScotchBonnet
Who cares? The comment still stands.
fanpages
I refer you to comment #20.
MrScotchBonnet
Your comment was before comment #20 was even active.

OK, I will make it easy for you; Error440 cares, & corrected the claim made by YouDontWantToKnow.
banned#26
fanpages
MrScotchBonnet
Who cares? The comment still stands.
fanpages
I refer you to comment #20.
MrScotchBonnet
Your comment was before comment #20 was even active.
OK, I will make it easy for you; Error440 cares, & corrected the claim made by YouDontWantToKnow.

I like your humour I really do, but the smart front you put on annoys me.
banned 2 Likes #27
Error440

First off I'm female, secondly the man of the house has lost his marbles and thirdly when I went to the police they implied it took two to tango and told me to go see if I could get on the council housing list.

This thread is about female abuse to males.
#28
MrScotchBonnet
I like your humour I really do, but the smart front you put on annoys me.

Error440 has relayed the incident in a previous thread. I just paid attention.
#29
I know a lot of men, their wives just yell and command them. These men are all quietly spoken and back off though.
1 Like #30
YouDontWantToKnow
fanpages

Oh dear.
Yep and? I have been through a divorce & she wasnt even living in the house but used to come around causing trouble & after not getting her way for after a couple of hours of abuse from her used to call 999. So instead of going home to where she lived (taking our kids with her) got me arrested twice.. Because my friend. They always REMOVE THE MALE
Edit........ No charges for me but a blatant advantage taken by her & applied by the police.


Really well they haven't removed mine despite his threats, its just oh well he wouldn't be saying things like that for no reason, normally it takes two to tango etc.

The words he's nuts apparently dont register with police brains, yes I must have said something to him telepathically to have him come home shouting about how all his misery in life is my fault and rambling rubbish like blaming his insomnia on fear I'm going to stab him in his sleep, shouting about burning the house down with everyone in it etc

Fact is if someone has a knife to you, phone 999, not saying thats ever happened to me but I know thats when they act and thats all you got anyway, no one else to call.
banned#31
splender
I know a lot of men, their wives just yell and command them. These men are all quietly spoken and back off though.

Or the blokes just get out of the house as much as possible & use the excuse of "having a pint with their mates" as an excuse just because they want to be away from their abuser.
#32
YouDontWantToKnow
splender
I know a lot of men, their wives just yell and command them. These men are all quietly spoken and back off though.
Or the blokes just get out of the house as much as possible & use the excuse of "having a pint with their mates" as an excuse just because they want to be away from their abuser.
May be, the ones that I know don't go too pubs that often. And does it raise another issue, the wives yell them again when they come back smelling of pub?
banned 1 Like #33
splender
May be, the ones that I know don't go too pubs that often. And does it raise another issue, the wives yell them again when they come back smelling of pub?

Depends how you see it & yes you will be right. But that doesnt stop the 4 or 5 guys I know that are sick to death of the abuse they get from their wives that they fill their times with community work, junior football, scout clubs etc etc any excuse to be out of their own homes.
1 Like #34
YouDontWantToKnow
splender
May be, the ones that I know don't go too pubs that often. And does it raise another issue, the wives yell them again when they come back smelling of pub?
Depends how you see it & yes you will be right. But that doesnt stop the 4 or 5 guys I know that are sick to death of the abuse they get from their wives that they fill their times with community work, junior football, scout clubs etc etc any excuse to be out of their own homes.
That's a familar situation to here!
banned#35
This place is a joke. I'm sure a thread about cancer could turn into a debate.

OP I will PM you a suitable place to post this as here just isn't the place and never will be.
banned#36
splender
That's a familar situation to here!

Because they do not want to lose access to their kids which they know that will happen including loosing any money in the bank & their houses. That is why they do it. Just carry on regardless.
#37
YouDontWantToKnow
splender
May be, the ones that I know don't go too pubs that often. And does it raise another issue, the wives yell them again when they come back smelling of pub?
Depends how you see it & yes you will be right. But that doesnt stop the 4 or 5 guys I know that are sick to death of the abuse they get from their wives that they fill their times with community work, junior football, scout clubs etc etc any excuse to be out of their own homes.


Maybe they should get couples therapy and get to the bottom of it rather then exacerbating the situation. maybe they have depression which is what I think mine has, its a misnomer that they spend all their time being sad and not doing anything, what depressed men do is blame their families for everything, they can seem perfectly fine round friends but are callous, selfish angry things around their familes. and that can lead to a loop of behaviour from both parties.
banned 1 Like #38
Error440
that can lead to a loop of behaviour from both parties.

This thread is about men.

Have you ever taken your wife/husband out for a meal or drinks on their birthday only to get battered from behind with closed fists after you got home whilst watching TV just because they didnt didnt have a nice day (they drunk too much)?

It happens

Oh yeah.. & she kept the house and my daughter!


Edited By: YouDontWantToKnow on Nov 11, 2016 23:38
1 Like #39
YouDontWantToKnow
splender
That's a familar situation to here!
Because they do not want to lose access to their kids which they know that will happen including loosing any money in the bank & their houses. That is why they do it. Just carry on regardless.
Will sound controversial here in MISC, asian women don't do as much "yelling" and more docile and homely and cooks good food, say relatively rough guess 10-15 more docile persons per 100 women, but this causes more immigration which wouldn't go down well with others here in MISC e.g. a Thai or Philippino. Am not trying to be provocative, just anecdotal with no science, just saying from casual acquaintances, I do know of so many men do this and happy. I am not being sexist or raciststoo, as the asian women's white mother-in-laws here very happy too for their sons being "pampered" and are more extended family like inclusive of grandparents. And in the context of OP's thread, I have never heard of asian woman beating up her white man here.


Edited By: splender on Nov 11, 2016 23:42
#40
YouDontWantToKnow
Error440
that can lead to a loop of behaviour from both parties.
This thread is about men.
Have you ever taken your wife/husband out for a meal or drinks on their birthday only to get battered from behind with closed fists after you got home whilst watching TV just because they didnt didnt have a nice day (they drunk too much)?

Nope but I did get slapped from behind once while washing up for "deliberately" splashing water on him.

Simple solution if things like Relate or anger management is out of the question, leave.

If you stopped being sexist maybe you'd be able to take on board the point better, the police is all you have if crap hits the fan, no point bitching about it no domestic abuse charity has vigilantes who will come round your door to save you. now I know theres a lot more support for physical abuse then for emotional abuse and mental health but if you do go to some charities what exactly do you think they are going to do? They are only going to offer counselling maybe if your lucky, group therapy/meetings and advise you to leave, they may offer you a shelter and free legal advice.

Edited By: Error440 on Nov 11, 2016 23:48

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