Before starting All rules are numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Learn to work the toilet seat, you're a big girl, if it is up, put it down!
You can handle it. We need it up, and you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining that you leave it down!
1. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon, let it be.
1. Crying = blackmail
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one,
Subtle Hints DO NOT WORK!
Strong Hints, DO NOT WORK!
Obvious Hints, DO NOT WORK!,
Just say it...
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem, see a doctor!
1. Anything we said six months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after seven days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think that you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done.
Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example is a fruit, not a colour.
Pumpkin is also a fruit.
We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched, we do that!
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing", we will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you're lying, but it is not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking unless you're prepared to discuss such topics as football, cricket or monster trucks.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape, ROUND is a shape.
1. Thank You for reading this.
Yes I know I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know that men really don't mind that, it is like camping.