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Employee advice please

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Hi, My friend has been off work recently due to really bad depression, they are monitoring her as they weren't sure whether to hospitalize her or not. Anyway the only people she told this too were me… Read More
Mallow2 Avatar
7y, 7m agoPosted 7 years, 7 months ago
Hi,
My friend has been off work recently due to really bad depression, they are monitoring her as they weren't sure whether to hospitalize her or not. Anyway the only people she told this too were me, my other half, her other half and her boss as they wanted reasons and explanations (her other half told her boss as she doesn't like going out or speaking to many people at the moment)
Apparently it took her OH ages to convince her boss that there was no way she could talk to his girl friend.
Anyway its a shop that she works in and her eldery neighbour goes in there and asks about her as she likes talking to her but she doesn't answer the door at the moment.
This elderly woman spoke to my friends OH today and said she was sorry to hear that she was ill and asked if the hospital were still watching her....
Now my friend is devastated she has been in tears, she didn't want people knowing what was wrong and now feels like she can't ever return to work because everyone knows why she has been off.
Is there any way of reporting her boss? Or do you think that will make things worse?
Also im not really sure what to say to my friend about returning to work, i can understand why she doesn't want to now.
Mallow2 Avatar
7y, 7m agoPosted 7 years, 7 months ago
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Comments/page:
#1
[COLOR="Blue"]is she part of the union? if so she needs to get advice from them, if not report it to HR, im pretty sure her boss cant discuss sensitive info like that[/COLOR]
#2
Go check out the ACAS website. They are great with all kinds of employment advice. Worth ringing them as there is a lot on their website and some people do struggle with it, so if in doubt just give your friends partner the ACAS phone number to ring first thing in the morning. This needs to be sorted asap or it will just increase her anxiety the longer it goes on for.
There is a blog that offers support for depression run by the NHS. Might be worth a look. If you want the details pm me and I will find the link for you.

Hope you get things sorted.
banned#3
tell her to ring ACAS, they are great, i have delt eith them loads ill get the number posted in a minute
#4
Smeagol<3sDeagol
[COLOR="Blue"]is she part of the union? if so she needs to get advice from them, if not report it to HR, im pretty sure her boss cant discuss sensitive info like that[/COLOR]


I don't think she is part of a union, its a high street store, any idea of how to contact the HR department? And will that make things more awkward for her?
#5
Dumpling
Go check out the ACAS website. They are great with all kinds of employment advice. Worth ringing them as there is a lot on their website and some people do struggle with it, so if in doubt just give your friends partner the ACAS phone number to ring first thing in the morning. This needs to be sorted asap or it will just increase her anxiety the longer it goes on for.
There is a blog that offers support for depression run by the NHS. Might be worth a look. If you want the details pm me and I will find the link for you.

Hope you get things sorted.
,

The link would be great thanks, would be really good to read up about it and help a bit more, ill give it to her oh as well as this acas number, i think he'll appreciate it too.

yvonne1174
tell her to ring ACAS, they are great, i have delt eith them loads ill get the number posted in a minute


Great thank you
#6
snowflake
It may be that this old lady was told your friend was ill, and not what was wrong with her, which if somebody is off sick is quite normal a response..maybe this old lady was just fishing and didn't have any more information and was prying a little?

I hope your friend is ok it's such a delicate situation and you're clearly a good friend :)


She had been worried anyway as her boss isnt the most privacy conscious, and the hospital comment kind of gave it away, no one knew about that apart from us and her boss, Its so annoying that she didn't think about the effect before she spoke to people about her
#7
[COLOR="Red"]Why should she be embarrassed?

She was ill. It happens.[/COLOR]
#8
The JFK
[COLOR="Red"]Why should she be embarrassed?

She was ill. It happens.[/COLOR]


She shouldn't be but she is, she just wanted to keep it quiet and that was her right, or i think it was!
#9
I think a lot of it is to do with the stigma. I would personally speak to ACAS before ringing head office or anything like that. They can represent you in some proceedings, and if you follow their advice from the start you will more likely get the best outcome for your friend.
http://www.acas.gov.uk/index.aspx?articleid=1461
Helpline

The Acas Helpline is the place to go for both employers and employees who are involved in an employment dispute or are seeking information on employment rights and rules. The Helpline provides clear, confidential, independent and impartial advice to assist the caller in resolving issues in the workplace.

Monday - Friday 08:00 - 20:00 - 08457 47 47 47
#10
Dumpling
Go check out the ACAS website. They are great with all kinds of employment advice. Worth ringing them as there is a lot on their website and some people do struggle with it, so if in doubt just give your friends partner the ACAS phone number to ring first thing in the morning. This needs to be sorted asap or it will just increase her anxiety the longer it goes on for.
There is a blog that offers support for depression run by the NHS. Might be worth a look. If you want the details pm me and I will find the link for you.

Hope you get things sorted.


yvonne1174
tell her to ring ACAS, they are great, i have delt eith them loads ill get the number posted in a minute


+1
#11
It is important your friend does not make any major decisions at the moment...due to depression...low self esteem and poor confidence....the professionals involved in his/her care should be able to advise on this issue.
#12
http://talk.nhs.uk/blogs/mentalhealth/default.aspx That is the link for the NHS Choices site. You can register and sign up for emails on different topics including depression.
I know a lot of professionals who work with existing mental health issues who are very open about it. I understand totally why she doesnt want to tell anyone how she is right now. I hope you are in an area with good mental health services. If she isn't getting the right support be prepared (or prepare her partner) for a fight to get them. Mental health issues are treated by a lot of people as something to be ashamed of, but most if not everyone will be affected by mental health issues at some point in their lives, there are more campigns now than ever to help people with mental health issues get the right support and treatment.
#13
There is also a facebook group called Time to change. I think it is part of a bigger movement to end discrimination against people with mental health issues.

Like someone else said it's important she isn't having to make big decisions, but if people finding out is as big a concern as you say it is, and its having a seriously negative impact I think the best thing you can do is support her in getting the issue resolved asap so that she can focus on herself and getting better, which should be the number 1 priority. Sometimes things need to be sorted before you can feel better about yourself, and this might be too much of a deal for her to let it pass right now.

ACAS have been great in the past in helping colleagues with mental health issues resolve work issues and I'm sure they will be the best people to speak to first. Might also be worth informing the mental health people involved in her care that this issue has asrisen, ask it to be noted in her files and the impact it is having on her. It's really important to get things documented.
#14
unless you can prove outright that the boss said anything you aint got a case - so uless the old biddy is willing to say that the boss told her that your friend is depressed etc then dont waste your time causing more upset to you friend cos nothing is going to happen if you cant prove it - if your friend is ill and she needs help then i think you need to concentrate more on getting her the right treatment and not worrying about hearsay or gossip

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