Essex Girls - HotUKDeals
We use cookie files to improve site functionality and personalisation. By continuing to use HUKD, you accept our cookie and privacy policy.
Get the HUKD app free at Google Play

Search Error

An error occurred when searching, please try again!

Login / Sign UpSubmit

Essex Girls

skusey Avatar
8y, 9m agoPosted 8 years, 9 months ago
An Essex girl walks into the local dry cleaners
She places a garment on the counter
"I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress" she says
"Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear
"No" she replies. "This time it's mayonnaise."

Essex Girl enters a sex shop and asks for a vibrator
The man says "Choose from our range on the wall"
She says "I'll take the red one."
The man replies "That's a fire extinguisher."

An Essex girl is involved in a nasty car crash and is trapped and bleeding. The paramedics soon arrive on site
Medic: "It's OK I'm a paramedic and I'm going to ask you some questions?"
Girl: "OK"
Medic: "What's your name?"
Girl: "Sharon"
Medic: "OK Sharon, is this your car?"
Sharon: "Yes"
Medic: "Where are you bleeding from?"
Sharon: "Chelmsford, mate"

An Essex girl was driving down the A13 when her car phone rang It was her boyfriend, urgently warning her,
"Treacle, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on the A13 - please be careful"
"It's not just one car!" said the Essex girl, "There's hundreds of them!"

Another Essex girl was involved in a serious crash; there's blood everywhere. The paramedics arrive and drag the girl out of the car till she's lying flat out on the floor
Medic: "OK, I'm going to check if your concussed."
Sharon: "OK"
Medic: "What's your name?"
Sharon: "Sharon"
Medic: "Where do you live?"
Sharon: "Essex"
Medic: "OK Sharon. How many fingers have I got up?"
Sharon: "Oh my god I'm paralysed from the waist down!"
skusey Avatar
8y, 9m agoPosted 8 years, 9 months ago
Options

All Comments

(11) Jump to unreadPost a comment
Comments/page:
#1
do u need to make a new post for every joke? just put emm all in one topic matey
#2
They are great!! Esp the car going the wrong way!!
#3
Mclovin
do u need to make a new post for every joke? just put emm all in one topic matey


Sorry, thought it was easier to read 1 at a time:oops:
#4
Loved them all :-D
#5
skusey
Sorry, thought it was easier to read 1 at a time:oops:


It is for me skusey, don;t change :oops:
#6
Glad i am a hampshire girl ha ha:roll:
#7
Essex girl's house catches fire, so she phones the fire brigade.
"Hello, is that the fire station"?
"Yes"
"My house is on fire"
"OK, don't panic. How do we get there?"
Long pause, as she thinks.................................. "In that chuffin red engine thing of course"!!!!!!!!!!
#8
http://www.hotukdeals.com/item/172301/essex-girls/images/smilies/giggle.gif
http://www.hotukdeals.com/item/172301/essex-girls/images/smilies/giggle.gif
#9
ha ha
#10
How does an Essex girl turn the light on when she has finished making love??????



She kicks the car door open!!!!
#11
Lovin the Essex jokes ... sooo funny!!!

Glad you didn't put all your jokes in one post ... I have short attention span at the mo'!

Post a Comment

You don't need an account to leave a comment. Just enter your email address. We'll keep it private.

...OR log in with your social account

...OR comment using your social account

Thanks for your comment! Keep it up!
We just need to have a quick look and it will be live soon.
The community is happy to hear your opinion! Keep contributing!