I have just been sent this and had to post it, sorry if its a duplicate:
Own a Ferrari?
Not quite good enough at driving?
Are other boys faster than you in the wet?
Then you need:
Ferrari international Assistance (FiA)
This exclusive Ferrari only membership club has many benefits. Including:
� Anti overtaking assurance
Been overtaken? Feel a bit silly? Don't worry, we'll rule out the other party, even if it's embarrassingly obvious that they're faster than you
� Cant drive in the wet?
Cant cope with a little rain, dont worry. Well ensure that the other party will lose their position ahead of you, ready for your mediocre inconsistent performance to keep you in the championship.
� Exclusive access to a secret 'second lane' in the pits
Just to make things a little bit easier we've arranged a private second lane, just for you
� Overtaken a car by cutting a chicane and NOT giving back your place.
Exclusive offer for Ferrari drivers you can decide not to give back the position and we wont penalise you for it, just like in Hungary 2006
� Guaranteed world championship?
Had a crash? Need to win the world championship? Don't worry just limp across the track and take off your nearest championship title contender - we'll do the rest
� A bit strapped? Need extra cash?
Simply get one of your team to tell someone else how you make your cars and then well make sure they take the rap.
� Bits falling off your car? Looking a bit dangerous?
At Ferrari International Assistance we operate a 'blind eye' policy just for Ferrari drivers
� Been a bit silly? Taken off another driver whilst following the safety car?
It's ok, as long as you didn't hurt yourself. I mean, who are Force India anyway? And how dare they be in front of you
� A bit bored? Want some extra action?
With FIA plus you can take part in a number of additional membership activities
� Want to run some illegal aerodynamics?
No problem, as long as the car is Red, you can have flexing wings, or oversized barge boards anything you like!
� Has your rival come up with a great idea, before you?
One quick telephone call on our free 0800 number and well make sure it gets banned overnight. No questions asked.
� Not sure when you might need us next?
Relax. Check out our track record. We're confident that we'll be able to make something up on the spot that will get you out of any pickle that you might find yourself in
For an immediate response you can call our number free of charge. Our Call centre Staff, Bernard, Max and Charles, are waiting for your call.
Ferrari international Assistance - Making it up as we go along for over 100 years