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fmylife.com

titley Avatar
7y, 7m agoPosted 7 years, 7 months ago
Brilliant for anyone that wants to waste some time...

Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. At that point I noticed my phone had fallen out of my pocket in the street and was run over by several cars. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled : "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
titley Avatar
7y, 7m agoPosted 7 years, 7 months ago
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Comments/page:
#1
This website is part of my daily surfing, it is really funny.

But now work have restricted my access to this site! boo hoo!
#2
I was just reading that website then my mum came in so i jumped up to make my bed real quick and running so fast and i full force kicked the wall next to my bedroom door, i think my toe is broke.
#3
Damn - work filter has blocked site lol - will check it out later
#4
like it, thanks
#5
Today, I was browsing my computer to find naked pictures of my ex-girlfriend. I decided it'd be funny to photoshop a ***** onto one of the pictures. I'm straight and the new picture turned me on more than before. FML


:w00t:
Today, I received my passport in the mail. They got my birthdate wrong. Then I picked up my birth certificate that I had sent in with the application. Turns out my parents have been celebrating my birthday on the wrong day for 16 years. FML
#6
Goonieman
:w00t:


PML :thumbsup:
[admin]#7
Love that site :lol:

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