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Have you ever worked in an office where someone insisted upon listening to their voice mail using the speakerphone (at full volume, naturally). It can really begin to bother you after a while. The… Read More
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8y, 11m agoPosted 8 years, 11 months ago
Have you ever worked in an office where someone insisted upon listening to their voice mail using the speakerphone (at full volume, naturally).
It can really begin to bother you after a while.

There was a fella in my office who was the ultimate offender.
I found a fairly easy fix for that, though.

I get my wife to call his desk when he's not there and leave a message like

"Hi, this is Candy from 0800-HOT-BABE. You haven't paid for the 'toys' we sent you, you naughty boy. You wouldn't want me to come over there and spank you, would you?"

It is the last time you hear that particular speakerphone, I can assure you.
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8y, 11m agoPosted 8 years, 11 months ago

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:thumbsup::p That's funny - nice one:thumbsup:
It'd be great if someone then turned around to you and said "hey, that sounds like your wife!". :w00t:
So it was your wife was it ... lol
50 things you would love to say out loud at work
1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of sh*t.
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.
6. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
7. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
8. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
9. Ahhhh. I see the f ***-up fairy has visited us again.
(this goes with AU perfectly!)
10. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.
11. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
12. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a sh*t.
1 3. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
14. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
15. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
16. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
17. Any resemblance between your reality and mine are purely coincidental.
18. What am I? Flypaper for freaks?!
19. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
20. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
21. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
22. And your cry-baby whiny-arsed opinion would be?
23. Do I look like a f****** people person to you?
24. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
25 . I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left.
26. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
27. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
28. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
29. Whatever kind of look you were aiming for, you missed.
30. Oh I get it. Like humour, but different.........
31. An office is just a mental institute without the padded walls.
32. Can I swap this job for what's behind door .........1?
33. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
34. Nice perfume (or aftershave). Must you marinate in it?
35. Chaos, panic, and disorder. My work here is done.
36. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
37. I thought I wanted a career; it turns out I just needed the money.
38. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being more intelligent.
39. Wait a minute - I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
40. Aren't you a black hole of need.
4 1. I'd like to help you out, which way did you come in?
42. Did you eat an extra bowl of stupid this morning?
43. Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma.
44. If you have something to say raise your hand.........then place it over your mouth.
45. I'm too busy, can I ignore you some other time?
46. Don't let your mind wander, its too small to be let out o n its own.
47. Have a nice day, somewhere else.
48. You're not yourself today, I noticed the improvement straight away.
49. Don't believe everything you think.
50. Do you hear that? That's the sound of no-one caring.
lol funny
Ohh I want to say alot of those every day at work.
Is this quoting someone else or something you actually did? Hoping it's the latter as that's quite good ;)

Thankfully no-one like that in the office I work at although I did come across someone doing so in a crowded commuter train who thought it was entertaining(!)

I wish you had posted this 6 months ago.
I definately would have used that.
It really pi$$e$ me off when they do that.

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