We found him on our doorstep looking very upset, and we're just trying to find him a good home.
Available most Saturdays for Sideshows - will answer to 'Bob'.
Would probably still be the best player in the England team.
He enjoys elbowing other players, playing long diagonal balls and roaming about the football pitch in search of adventure.
Can also be used as a multi-purpose mop.
Highly rated by Piers Morgan.