Two men were standing outside a pub and one says to the other, "I fancy a pub crawl but I have got no money. Have you?"
The second man replies, "Only £1 but that won't buy much."
The first man says, "I know how we can get drunk on that £1. Go to the butchers down the road and buy the biggest, fattest sausage you can get for £1."
His mate runs off and comes back with a sausage and then the first man beckons him into the pub. They go up to the bar and the first man orders 2 pints with whiskey chasers. The second man says, "How are we going to pay for them?"
The first man whispers to him, "Drink up quick and then do as I say." They gulp down their drinks before the bar man has time to ask them for the money and then the first man puts the sausage down his trousers and undoes his zip. He whispers to his mate, "Get on your knees and put the sausage in your mouth."
The second man does this and then the bar man sees them, "You dirty buggers, you can't do that in here, get out of my pub and don't come in here again."
The 2 men run out without paying and when they are outside the second man says, "That was great, let's do it again." So they try the same trick at another pub and it works again. After the tenth pub the second man says, "I am too pissed to get on my knees again and I can't run anymore."
The first man replies, "Yes, I am pissed as well and its a good job because I lost the sausage about 3 pubs ago."