Jerry's at the urinal in an airport rest room when a guy with no arms sidles up next to him and pleads,
"Hey buddy -- can you help me out here?"
Though he feels uneasy, he considers the guy's predicament and decides to help. He bravely unzips the man, takes a deep breath, reaches in and pulls out the guy's todger.
Much to his horror, it is hideous!. It's moldy and bluish green, covered with pus-filled scabs, and it reeks something awful. Imagining the kudos he'll get on Judgment Day for this selfless good deed, Jerry holds the man's unit while he finishes urinating, shakes it, then puts it back in the man's pants and zips him up.
The guy tells Jerry, "Thanks, man, I really appreciate it."
"No problem," says Jerry. "But I gotta ask - What the hell's wrong with your johnson?"
The guy pokes his arms back out of his sleeves and says, "I don't know, but I sure as hell ain't touching it."