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When I was younger, my parents were landlords and as such I every couple of years I would move around the country from one pub to another, as they furthered their career. Because of this I never ma…
haritori Avatar
5m, 2w agoPosted 5 months, 2 weeks ago
When I was younger, my parents were landlords and as such I every couple of years I would move around the country from one pub to another, as they furthered their career.

Because of this I never made any life long friends, it wasnt until I was 17 that I started working in retail and made what I considered at the time good friends, people whom i would go out at the weekends with, go out for meals and generally do most sociable things with, people i could be myself have a laugh and enjoy their company.

As I was only young I considered these people my friends without really taking into account that they already had lifelong friends and to them I wasnt what they were to me.

As I grew older, I spent less time with them, and then as I had a family, moved to better place for my family, and again lost contact, that was until Facebook became more prominent, I now see these people's lives going on on Facebook, I try to initiate sometimes with them attempts to refreind but it seems that they are happy with their lives now, and I was an acquaintance from their past.

I usually like their photos, comments I find amusing or entertaining and always wish them a happy birthday on the day it is.

So am I expecting too much when the same isnt returned? I find it disheartening when on my Birthday, very few people do the same, that its too much effort on their part to just send a small wish.

My Birthday is coming up and I am considering removing these 'friends' from facebook I know I sound a bit pathetic, but i find it quite upsetting that people who were such a big part of my life for a good 10 years all of a sudden just can't be bothered, is it too much to expect?

I have tried a few times to attempt to arrange a night out a reunion, and while one or two show interest the rest dont even reply.

Do you all have real friends? or is what i am describing normal? I think it makes it harder to deal with because I am at an age where I regularly get nostalgic about the past, maybe I am wishing for my younger days again and just being silly?
haritori Avatar
5m, 2w agoPosted 5 months, 2 weeks ago
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Top Comments

(5)
13 Likes
my friends are a nightmare, you can have some of them if you like...& my relatives, take them all, i'll pay you :)
7 Likes
https://vesperwoolf.files.wordpress.com/2015/08/1383426204.jpg
7 Likes
Mark2111
Error440
Btw if anyone remembers my predicament and what I said I wanted to do, well my hair is currently dyed red and I have got piercings in the helix of my ears, I'm wearing make up again and dressing all heavy metal/punk again.
Its nice because people check me out (of both sexes).
I have a list of companies to apply for jobs wise and have updated my cv and got a new more presentable email address for applications but have not done anything yet as I haven't heard anything about therapy from the nhs, I think I am on the waiting list for cgt, act and counciling I'm not sure they just keep giving me updated assessments over the phone oO

Mental image of you!

http://i66.tinypic.com/14skyag.jpg

Well done for being pro active in getting your life together. It's tough finding the strength to seek help and to move onward wards and upwards but you can do it.

Mark my mental image of you

http://i684.photobucket.com/albums/vv203/tedibully/falseboobs.jpg
6 Likes
I never went to school so no friends there, I went college many times but never kept in touch, the advant of the internet led to friends on forums, facebook groups and things, work and subsequent loss of it led to only seeing my workmates on facebook after years of parties, pubs and days out.


The recent trouble in my life has made me see the truth, a friend isnt someone you hang about with a lot and share experiences with. Its someone who cares about you, who will stick there neck out and give you a hand when the crap hits the fan.

How many times you've been pub with em or how many years you sat beside them has no relevance to that, I've had friends I've known for getting on for 8 or 10 years that I have seen every day refuse to let me sofa surf when things are bad. And I've had people I've spoken to only via online reach out to me, taking me out for drinks, being a shoulder to cry on and giving me a ring just to offer a friendly chat.

So in conclusion a friend is someone who will be there during the really hard times as well as the fun times, you have no way of knowing who those friends are going to be, only time and circumstance will sort the wheat from the chaff.

So dont get hung up on it because 1 real friend no matter if you have met them in person or not, no matter what "fun" pictures they post on facebook or not, is worth more then 100 of the superficial passing work/school/college/whatever mates you may have picked up along the way as they will all fall to the wayside at the exact point in time when a friend is truly needed.
6 Likes
Btw if anyone remembers my predicament and what I said I wanted to do, well my hair is currently dyed red and I have got piercings in the helix of my ears, I'm wearing make up again and dressing all heavy metal/punk again.

Its nice because people check me out (of both sexes).

I have a list of companies to apply for jobs wise and have updated my cv and got a new more presentable email address for applications but have not done anything yet as I haven't heard anything about therapy from the nhs, I think I am on the waiting list for cgt, act and counciling I'm not sure they just keep giving me updated assessments over the phone oO

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4 Likes #1
That's a bit sad Hari. You've always struck me as being likeable so it's probably a case of people just moving on and busy with their immediate circle of friends.

You might be on their Facebook friends but they might not follow you so don't keep up with you updates.

Try not to feel too down about it and instead try and spend time cultivating new friends, it's never too late to meet new people!
1 Like #2
I think like you say, people are happy with their lives now as they are, and this can be true even with previously very close friends.
People move on, change, make new lives, and what's in the past is just part of their past, not the present. :)
4 Likes #3
I came off Facebook a few years back.
It was awful at first like a full on addiction.
They way I look at it is, the people you really want to know are in your contact list in your phone.
Best thing I ever did coming off it though.
People add you who you know from school to build up a popularity list, like look at me with my 900 friends. Yet they walk past you when you see them in the street :-/
#4
looks like you're stuck in your own self importance?
3 Likes #5
I can feel a 'Happy Birthday, Haritori' thread coming soon. :)
2 Likes #6
You should also remember that while it sounds like you're adding friends to your Facebook list in the real sense of the word, I see the vast majority of users add people as 'friends' when they really mean 'I know / knew this person'. Some people I know say they have hundreds of 'friends' on Facebook, but it would be physically impossible to keep in contact with them, even when some of these people live on Facebook. I'd say try and move on. People naturally become friends through regular contact, and it would naturally follow that when that contact ends, so would the friendship. Sure, you can still be courteous if you bump into each other, but there's no genuine urge to actually catch up, and go back to the way things were. It's all the more reason to enjoy these great friendships while they last.:)
1 Like #7
Don't need it too busy living my own life why care if they wish u happy bday doesn't matter people close matter
4 Likes #8
haritori
...Do you all have real friends?

Hey,... I've tried, but you said I bore you.
13 Likes #9
my friends are a nightmare, you can have some of them if you like...& my relatives, take them all, i'll pay you :)
1 Like #10
sowotsdis
looks like you're stuck in your own self importance?

Maybe? but I think its more down to my anxiety, I feel like maybe ive done something wrong, something to offend others and that they dont want anything to do with me. It is something I have to really remember that my Anxiety controls my feelings.

But maybe you are right I dont like to think i have self importance, but maybe I feel I do deserve something back, does that make me a bad person?


Mark2111
That's a bit sad Hari. You've always struck me as being likeable so it's probably a case of people just moving on and busy with their immediate circle of friends.
You might be on their Facebook friends but they might not follow you so don't keep up with you updates.
Try not to feel too down about it and instead try and spend time cultivating new friends, it's never too late to meet new people!

I think I've always tried to hard to be liked, was always the class clown making fun of myself for the sake of others, thank god for maturity lol.




fanpages
haritori
...Do you all have real friends?
Hey,... I've tried, but you said I bore you.

FP you are the most irritating person I know ;) i can deal with you in small doses :D



adamsedge
Don't need it too busy living my own life why care if they wish u happy bday doesn't matter people close matter


DarkEnergy2012
my friends are a nightmare, you can have some of them if you like...& my relatives, take them all, i'll pay you :)

I love my family very happy with them, just sometimes I would like to escape them for a couple of hours with someone down the pub lol, and as for family outside of my house, they abandoned me years ago, or i abandoned them, but either way thats a no go :(
3 Likes #11
So no one told you life was gonna be this way?
2 Likes #12
thegroutch
So no one told you life was gonna be this way?

Clap, Clap, Clap, Clap, Clap...
6 Likes #13
I never went to school so no friends there, I went college many times but never kept in touch, the advant of the internet led to friends on forums, facebook groups and things, work and subsequent loss of it led to only seeing my workmates on facebook after years of parties, pubs and days out.


The recent trouble in my life has made me see the truth, a friend isnt someone you hang about with a lot and share experiences with. Its someone who cares about you, who will stick there neck out and give you a hand when the crap hits the fan.

How many times you've been pub with em or how many years you sat beside them has no relevance to that, I've had friends I've known for getting on for 8 or 10 years that I have seen every day refuse to let me sofa surf when things are bad. And I've had people I've spoken to only via online reach out to me, taking me out for drinks, being a shoulder to cry on and giving me a ring just to offer a friendly chat.

So in conclusion a friend is someone who will be there during the really hard times as well as the fun times, you have no way of knowing who those friends are going to be, only time and circumstance will sort the wheat from the chaff.

So dont get hung up on it because 1 real friend no matter if you have met them in person or not, no matter what "fun" pictures they post on facebook or not, is worth more then 100 of the superficial passing work/school/college/whatever mates you may have picked up along the way as they will all fall to the wayside at the exact point in time when a friend is truly needed.
6 Likes #14
Btw if anyone remembers my predicament and what I said I wanted to do, well my hair is currently dyed red and I have got piercings in the helix of my ears, I'm wearing make up again and dressing all heavy metal/punk again.

Its nice because people check me out (of both sexes).

I have a list of companies to apply for jobs wise and have updated my cv and got a new more presentable email address for applications but have not done anything yet as I haven't heard anything about therapy from the nhs, I think I am on the waiting list for cgt, act and counciling I'm not sure they just keep giving me updated assessments over the phone oO
3 Likes #15
Prime example of why I'm not on social media . They aren't friends , they are people you once knew . If they were friends , they would be up for a reunion . I met up with my university flatmates the other week . It was the first time we'd all been together since 1988 and it was just like we had never been apart . Concentrate on real friends like error 440 says . One of these is worth double all of those guys on facebook
5 Likes #16
If people only remembered your birthday because they were reminded it existed on Facebook, they never really cared anyway.

I've seen other people get excited about their Facebook birthday wishes. I find it pitifully sad, they don't realise Facebook has reminded everyone.

Edited By: moneysavingkitten on Sep 06, 2016 14:54
2 Likes #17
Error440
Btw if anyone remembers my predicament and what I said I wanted to do, well my hair is currently dyed red and I have got piercings in the helix of my ears, I'm wearing make up again and dressing all heavy metal/punk again.

Its nice because people check me out (of both sexes).

I have a list of companies to apply for jobs wise and have updated my cv and got a new more presentable email address for applications but have not done anything yet as I haven't heard anything about therapy from the nhs, I think I am on the waiting list for cgt, act and counciling I'm not sure they just keep giving me updated assessments over the phone oO

Really pleased to hear that :)
#18
I wouldn't kick any of them off your facebook tho, unless your friends list is full you'd be amazed at who may step up to the plate when needed.

In my experience the ones who endlessly post selfies and pictures of themselves endlessly on holidays and things are not worth toffee they are attention **** whos only interest in social media is fleeting look at me! Posts, they rarely actually go on to read anything from others or show any interest.

But as I said true friends appear in unexpected places so I would not unfriend them as you never know
1 Like #19
moneysavingkitten
Error440
Btw if anyone remembers my predicament and what I said I wanted to do, well my hair is currently dyed red and I have got piercings in the helix of my ears, I'm wearing make up again and dressing all heavy metal/punk again.
Its nice because people check me out (of both sexes).
I have a list of companies to apply for jobs wise and have updated my cv and got a new more presentable email address for applications but have not done anything yet as I haven't heard anything about therapy from the nhs, I think I am on the waiting list for cgt, act and counciling I'm not sure they just keep giving me updated assessments over the phone oO
Really pleased to hear that :)


When my ears are healed a bit I'm gonna get more, I want 4 in each ear as 8 is a lucky number thats my plan :D
3 Likes #20
Error440
Btw if anyone remembers my predicament and what I said I wanted to do, well my hair is currently dyed red and I have got piercings in the helix of my ears, I'm wearing make up again and dressing all heavy metal/punk again.
Its nice because people check me out (of both sexes).
I have a list of companies to apply for jobs wise and have updated my cv and got a new more presentable email address for applications but have not done anything yet as I haven't heard anything about therapy from the nhs, I think I am on the waiting list for cgt, act and counciling I'm not sure they just keep giving me updated assessments over the phone oO

I hope your son is doing well.
#21
delete Facebook and join a pub darts team, real life>social media all day long.
1 Like #22
Error440
moneysavingkitten
Error440
Btw if anyone remembers my predicament and what I said I wanted to do, well my hair is currently dyed red and I have got piercings in the helix of my ears, I'm wearing make up again and dressing all heavy metal/punk again.
Its nice because people check me out (of both sexes).
I have a list of companies to apply for jobs wise and have updated my cv and got a new more presentable email address for applications but have not done anything yet as I haven't heard anything about therapy from the nhs, I think I am on the waiting list for cgt, act and counciling I'm not sure they just keep giving me updated assessments over the phone oO
Really pleased to hear that :)
When my ears are healed a bit I'm gonna get more, I want 4 in each ear as 8 is a lucky number thats my plan :D

I like the sound of that :D 8 is a great number. I would like some more, but finding a decent piercer round here has been harder than I expected. Did you go for red hair in the end?

Sounds like you're finding your old self, that must feel really good :)
1 Like #23
Its never too late to make new friends,have you thought about joining a club or something like that related to your interests?i bet there are tons of people in the same boat as you that have drifted away from their old lives and eager to make new friendships.
1 Like #24
I wouldn't worry about people on FB, I have deleted people I used to go to school with/worked with. Mainly after noticing noting was ever said between us in a while. Including any correspondence.
If you feel like deleting them is a bit too far, try un-following them. Technically your friends on FB, but you wont see any of their statuses. See how you feel after a while.
Remember people change and move on. you are no longer a 17 yr old. You may find the people who you were once close to, now have nothing in common.
If FB didn't exist, would you still be in touch?

I have a small circle of friends, and even smaller on the ones I could rely on.
1 Like #25
Happy birthday Hari :D whenever it is
in fact Happy birthday to everybody X)
1 Like #26
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
YORE BUILDING YOUR KID A GAMING PC (which means you're awesome)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU.

Ps I'm open to you sending me a naked birthday pic via PM! Ha ha
banned 4 Likes #27
That's Facebook for you. I have never bothered with it. I quickly found out is was a place where known people tried to befriend me. My attitude quite simply is if I didn't want to be your mate X amount of years ago face to face, why on earth would you think for one moment I want to engage in some kind of conversation now.

My good friends have my telephone number

Each to their own I suppose.

Edited By: cchopps on Sep 06, 2016 15:43
1 Like #28
Is this you?
Roman birthday card plea


Sowie H :D
1 Like #29
I was in a similar boat as you. Due to my old man's profession, we travelled between countries a lot and regularly relocated.
Thanks to Facebook, I got back in touch with mates from various schools. I expected them to be like before, but I was completely taken aback when I found out that they were no longer the same people. I even met some of them in person.
Just to give a brief example, one was having his car repaired near my wedding venue but didnt turn up, another borrowed hundreds off me at various points and did not turn up at my wedding or repaid me a penny! , another visited me from NZ and I was happy for her to stay at my house rather than a hotel and she subsequently came here for sightseeing not once but twice but didn't even bother meeting up with me or informing me!

It's not necessary to have so many friends. Just have a few who can be relied upon.They are your true friends
#30
Error440
Btw if anyone remembers my predicament and what I said I wanted to do, well my hair is currently dyed red and I have got piercings in the helix of my ears, I'm wearing make up again and dressing all heavy metal/punk again.
Its nice because people check me out (of both sexes).
I have a list of companies to apply for jobs wise and have updated my cv and got a new more presentable email address for applications but have not done anything yet as I haven't heard anything about therapy from the nhs, I think I am on the waiting list for cgt, act and counceling I'm not sure they just keep giving me updated assessments over the phone oO

Well I truly hope everythings works out for you and yours..
moneysavingkitten
If people only remembered your birthday because they were reminded it existed on Facebook, they never really cared anyway.
I've seen other people get excited about their Facebook birthday wishes. I find it pitifully sad, they don't realise Facebook has reminded everyone.

Thats what makes me sad, I dont even get a it when facebook reminds them lol. it is sad and pathetic, and I am embarrassed to I feel this way.


zworld
I was in a similar boat as you. Due to my old man's profession, we travelled between countries a lot and regularly relocated.
Thanks to Facebook, I got back in touch with mates from various schools. I expected them to be like before, but I was completely taken aback when I found out that they were no longer the same people. I even met some of them in person.
Just to give a brief example, one was having his car repaired near my wedding venue but didnt turn up, another borrowed hundreds off me at various points and did not turn up at my wedding or repaid me a penny! , another visited me from NZ and I was happy for her to stay at my house rather than a hotel and she subsequently came here for sightseeing not once but twice but didn't even bother meeting up with me or informing me!
It's not necessary to have so many friends. Just have a few who can be relied upon.They are your true friends

I am the kind of person who will genuinely wish happy birthday and probably through gullibility think that it means something, I guess i expect the rest of the world to be the same, sadly most of the world is cold.
banned 2 Likes #31
Error440
I never went to school so no friends there, I went college many times but never kept in touch, the advant of the internet led to friends on forums, facebook groups and things, work and subsequent loss of it led to only seeing my workmates on facebook after years of parties, pubs and days out.
The recent trouble in my life has made me see the truth, a friend isnt someone you hang about with a lot and share experiences with. Its someone who cares about you, who will stick there neck out and give you a hand when the crap hits the fan.
How many times you've been pub with em or how many years you sat beside them has no relevance to that, I've had friends I've known for getting on for 8 or 10 years that I have seen every day refuse to let me sofa surf when things are bad. And I've had people I've spoken to only via online reach out to me, taking me out for drinks, being a shoulder to cry on and giving me a ring just to offer a friendly chat.
So in conclusion a friend is someone who will be there during the really hard times as well as the fun times, you have no way of knowing who those friends are going to be, only time and circumstance will sort the wheat from the chaff.
So dont get hung up on it because 1 real friend no matter if you have met them in person or not, no matter what "fun" pictures they post on facebook or not, is worth more then 100 of the superficial passing work/school/college/whatever mates you may have picked up along the way as they will all fall to the wayside at the exact point in time when a friend is truly needed.

Yep. We all only find out who our true friends are in times of need. The rest are at best acquaintances. Personally I can count my true friends on one hand.
1 Like #32
cchopps
That's Facebook for you. I have never bothered with it. I quickly found out is was a place where known people tried to befriend me. My attitude quite simply is if I didn't want to be your mate X amount of years ago face to face, why on earth would you think for one moment I want to engage in some kind of conversation now.

My good friends have my telephone number

Each to their own I suppose.


​I couldn't have put it better myself. I have 3 good friends who I trust and can rely on , even if we don't speak for a while we are all just there when needed. maybe I'm a little antisocial in my ways but I'm happy with it. as for reunions , I was invited to one but didn't go. I didn't fit in at school back in the day and couldn't see the point as I doubt anything would have changed :|
banned 1 Like #33
loumar76
cchopps
That's Facebook for you. I have never bothered with it. I quickly found out is was a place where known people tried to befriend me. My attitude quite simply is if I didn't want to be your mate X amount of years ago face to face, why on earth would you think for one moment I want to engage in some kind of conversation now.
My good friends have my telephone number
Each to their own I suppose.
​I couldn't have put it better myself. I have 3 good friends who I trust and can rely on , even if we don't speak for a while we are all just there when needed. maybe I'm a little antisocial in my ways but I'm happy with it. as for reunions , I was invited to one but didn't go. I didn't fit in at school back in the day and couldn't see the point as I doubt anything would have changed :|

The thing that sticks in my mind as the real turning point on social media for me was when I came across a Facebook/Twitter posting from Shane Warne asking where he could take Liz Hurley out to lunch in whatever town they were staying in at the time. What a ******!
1 Like #34
My raspberry pi is my friend
3 Likes #35
I have 2 mates that I'd trust with my life. I have over 200 "friends" on Facebook and TBH, I'd probably walk past most of them in the street and not recognise them or remember their names. I work with 250+ colleagues but that's all they are and I don't know or want to know any of them outside of work.
People move on. They have their own lives to live. If they want to be your friend, they'll be your friend, otherwise, don't let it bother you.
1 Like #36
Error 440 put it very nicely, I'm grateful for the 4 - 5 very close friends I have and I know if I'm in a sticky situation they will always be there for me. try and not to get upset about the situation Haritori :) I've had what I thought were great friends from Junior, Secondary school and Sixth form and they're just acquaintances now. Although that doesn't mean you're on bad terms, and likewise in your situation, don't mistake acquaintances with friends. You've attempted to meet up with those old friends and such, but you can't force them to be there. My advice would be to go to a meetup in whatever your interests are, a social club, take up a new sport. The point is, you can make new friendships instead of focusing your energy on rekindling old ones who don't seem interested.
2 Likes #37
cchopps
loumar76
cchopps
That's Facebook for you. I have never bothered with it. I quickly found out is was a place where known people tried to befriend me. My attitude quite simply is if I didn't want to be your mate X amount of years ago face to face, why on earth would you think for one moment I want to engage in some kind of conversation now.
My good friends have my telephone number
Each to their own I suppose.
​I couldn't have put it better myself. I have 3 good friends who I trust and can rely on , even if we don't speak for a while we are all just there when needed. maybe I'm a little antisocial in my ways but I'm happy with it. as for reunions , I was invited to one but didn't go. I didn't fit in at school back in the day and couldn't see the point as I doubt anything would have changed :|

The thing that sticks in my mind as the real turning point on social media for me was when I came across a Facebook/Twitter posting from Shane Warne asking where he could take Liz Hurley out to lunch in whatever town they were staying in at the time. What a ******!


​life's too short . if I want people to know something about me then I will tell them myself rather than broadcasting my life for all to read and gossip or bitch about.
1 Like #38
I can't be doing with social media, if my friends want to get in touch they text and arrange to meet . I don't have time for Facebook and the like, this website is my only guilty pleasure for talking nonsense with people .
Usually in life you lose contact with people because the ties with them weren't strong enough to make the effort sustain the friendship.
Also different people see you through the friendship stages at different times of your life, for example the friends I was extremely close to in my younger days all went in very different directions and we lost touch, it doesn't make them any less important to that stage in my life, but we just aren't as relevant to each other anymore.
True friends stay because you make time for each other because the bond between you is capable of something more long standing. My best friends are three very different people from different areas of my life, we are all busy people and don't have the luxury of being able to go out on the spur of the moment , but if I texted them now with any problem I know I'd have an immediate reply. To me that's worth far more than a handful of people I once knew acknowledging my birthday on social media.
Rather than trying to reconnect with people from your past, maybe try to pick people from your present who could become closer friends. You mentioned that maybe you offended people without realising , I have no idea if that's true, I have certainly avoided your posts since this thread http://www.hotukdeals.com/misc/year-11-finished-school-friday-now-party-2455510?page=2#comments , but you seem out of sorts today which is never nice to see.
I wouldn't unfriend people , just don't put so much energy into worrying about what they do or don't do. Happy birthday for whenever it is though ;)
#39
Im just feeling sorry for myself today,
tinkerbellian
I can't be doing with social media, if my friends want to get in touch they text and arrange to meet . I don't have time for Facebook and the like, this website is my only guilty pleasure for talking nonsense with people .
Usually in life you lose contact with people because the ties with them weren't strong enough to make the effort sustain the friendship.
Also different people see you through the friendship stages at different times of your life, for example the friends I was extremely close to in my younger days all went in very different directions and we lost touch, it doesn't make them any less important to that stage in my life, but we just aren't as relevant to each other anymore.
True friends stay because you make time for each other because the bond between you is capable of something more long standing. My best friends are three very different people from different areas of my life, we are all busy people and don't have the luxury of being able to go out on the spur of the moment , but if I texted them now with any problem I know I'd have an immediate reply. To me that's worth far more than a handful of people I once knew acknowledging my birthday on social media.
Rather than trying to reconnect with people from your past, maybe try to pick people from your present who could become closer friends. You mentioned that maybe you offended people without realising , I have no idea if that's true, I have certainly avoided your posts since this thread http://www.hotukdeals.com/misc/year-11-finished-school-friday-now-party-2455510?page=2#comments , but you seem out of sorts today which is never nice to see.
I wouldn't unfriend people , just don't put so much energy into worrying about what they do or don't do. Happy birthday for whenever it is though ;)

EDIT: I am not normally like that, what i put was pretty vicious and nasty, I might not of agreed with you, but you certainly are not a bad mother, I am pretty ashamed for acting like that, so I am sorry.


Edited By: haritori on Sep 06, 2016 17:35: Sorry.
1 Like #40
I can empathise with you a little.

The thing with friends, I think, is that meeting them and befriending them is only the first step of a friendship. To bridge the gap between them being circumstance-friends (be it that they're someone you work with, see at the pub or the supermarket, or who you meet as a friend of a friend, or whatever), you've got to find a way to separate the friendship from the circumstance, and find common interests and experiences that transcend it.

Maybe the answer to your thoughts is that you should forget about the people who are just circumstance-friends of circumstances that are long over. You don't have to delete them from your Facebook, but I wouldn't bother extending myself to them in any way. In future, maybe just try to put a bit of effort into separating friendships from the circumstances that bind you, and maybe it'll help you them long-term. You're still reasonably young, so there's still plenty of time to meet people you'll have known for decades when you're in your 50s.

Personally, I'm working on just that with a work-friend who just quit work. We've been doing stuff outside of work for a while anyway, but I'm well aware that if we don't separate the relationship from the circumstance within this short window of time, I'll never see him again.

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