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Funny Joke

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Please don't Fail Razor Blades "Y'all got any American razor blades in here?" the Texan asked the London pharmacist. "All I see are these damn Wilkinsons." "Sir," the Englishman patiently re…
cassieismydoggie Avatar
8y, 8m agoPosted 8 years, 8 months ago
Please don't Fail

Razor Blades

"Y'all got any American razor blades in here?" the Texan asked the London pharmacist. "All I see are these damn Wilkinsons."

"Sir," the Englishman patiently replied, "Wilkinson has been producing the finest surgical instruments, weapons and razors since before Waterloo."

"I don't give a damn if they passed them out on Noah's Ark if they ain't any good," the Texan retorted.

"I can assure you they are very good sir." the peeved chemist said. "Why just last year, my wife swallowed one. It gave her a tonsillectomy, an appendectomy, a hysterectomy, circumcised the gardener, emasculated a neighbor, cut two of a delivery boy's fingers off at the knuckle - and I still got 10 shaves out of it."
cassieismydoggie Avatar
8y, 8m agoPosted 8 years, 8 months ago
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1 Like #1
lol, wasnt amazing but wasn't a fail either :thumbsup:
1 Like #2
King of Thieves
lol, wasnt amazing but wasn't a fail either :thumbsup:


And can you do any better - Mr Youcantmakemelaughwithoutticklingme!!:p
1 Like #3
V good ... made me lol :giggle:
1 Like #4
cassieismydoggie
And can you do any better - Mr Youcantmakemelaughwithoutticklingme!!:p


I'm off now for about an hour. But when i come back i'll post a joke :thumbsup:
#5
http://img529.imageshack.us/img529/5024/judgeswz6.jpg
http://img529.imageshack.us/img529/5024/judgeswz6.ddc21d9876.jpg

lool sorry!
#6
The Ferrari F1 team fired their entire pit crew yesterday. The announcement followed Ferrari's decision to take advantage of the British government's 'Work for your Dole' scheme and employ some Liverpudlian youngsters.
The decision to hire them was brought about by a recent documentary on how unemployed youths from Toxteth were able to remove a set of wheels in less than 6 seconds without proper equipment whereas Ferrari's existing crew could only do it in 8 seconds with millions of pounds worth of high tech equipment. It was thought to be an excellent, bold move by the Ferrari management team as most races are won and lost in the pits, giving Ferrari an advantage over every other team.
However, Ferrari got more than they bargained for! At the crew's first practice session, not only was the scouse pit crew able to change all four wheels in under 6 seconds but, within 12 seconds, they had re-sprayed, re-badged and sold the car to the Mclaren team for 8 cases of Stella, a bag of weed and some photos of Alonso's bird in the shower! :thumbsup:
#7
'Can I have some Irish sausages please?' asked the Irishman walking up to the counter.
The assistant looked at him and asked 'are you Irish?'
'If I had asked for an Italian sausage would you ask me if I was Italian?' Demanded the Irishman indignantly. 'Or if I asked for German Bratwurst would you ask me if I was German?'
Then warming to his theme, he went on: 'Or if I asked you for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish? Or if I asked for a taco, would you ask me if I was Mexican? Would you?'
The assistant said 'well, no'
Suitably encouraged by the success of his logic, the Irishman steps it up a gear.
'And if I asked you for frogs legs, would you ask me if I was French?'
'What about Danish bacon, would you ask me if I was Danish?'
'Well no, I probably wouldn't' conceded the assistant.
So now bursting with righteous indignation, the Irishman says 'Well, alright then, why did you ask me if I'm Irish just because I asked for Irish sausages?'
The assistant replied: 'because you're in ******* Homebase'
:w00t:
#8
A Catholic Priest, an Indian Doctor, a rich Chinse Businessman and an Aussie were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers in front of them.
The Aussie fumed, 'What's with those blokes? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!'
The Indian Doctor chimed in, 'I don't know, but I've never seen such poor golf!'
The Chinese Businessman called out 'Move it, time is money'
The Catholic Priest said, 'Here comes George the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him.'
'Hello, George!', said the Catholic Priest, 'What's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?'
George the greens keeper replied, 'Oh, yes. That's a group of blind fire fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime.'
The group fell silent for a moment.
The Catholic Priest said, 'That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight.'
The Indian Doctor said, 'Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them.'
The Chinese Businessman replied, 'I think I'll donate $50,000 to the fire-fighters in honour of these brave souls'.
The Aussie said, 'Why can't they f***ing play at night?'
#9
alnbowes
A Catholic Priest, an Indian Doctor, a rich Chinse Businessman and an Aussie were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers in front of them.
The Aussie fumed, 'What's with those blokes? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!'
The Indian Doctor chimed in, 'I don't know, but I've never seen such poor golf!'
The Chinese Businessman called out 'Move it, time is money'
The Catholic Priest said, 'Here comes George the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him.'
'Hello, George!', said the Catholic Priest, 'What's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?'
George the greens keeper replied, 'Oh, yes. That's a group of blind fire fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime.'
The group fell silent for a moment.
The Catholic Priest said, 'That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight.'
The Indian Doctor said, 'Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them.'
The Chinese Businessman replied, 'I think I'll donate $50,000 to the fire-fighters in honour of these brave souls'.
The Aussie said, 'Why can't they f***ing play at night?'


Go start your own thread! :x lol
#10
cassieismydoggie
Go start your own thread! :x lol


I cant , I cant post threads at work , can only reply to them :cry:
#11
alnbowes
I cant , I cant post threads at work , can only reply to them :cry:


ok, you're let off for now. (but i'm keeping a close eye on you!);-)
#12
cassieismydoggie;2403508
Go start your own thread! :x lol

:giggle:
banned#13
http://i298.photobucket.com/albums/mm263/GTimagehoster/FAIL.jpg
1 Like #14
how you paste a pic?
#15
cassieismydoggie
ok, you're let off for now. (but i'm keeping a close eye on you!);-)


which one , thay are both scaring me :w00t:
#16
If you can only read posts and not reply - how did you answer the post in the first place?

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