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Girlfriend Left Me?

delboyuk2005uk Avatar
6y, 7m agoPosted 6 years, 7 months ago
Little bit of history me and my girlfriend have been together for 5 years. We have a daughter who is 3 called.

So we had a shock of a baby early into the relationship anyway she was born and we was all living in rented acommidation. After a fall out with the landlord we all decided to live at her mum and dads house. This was early into when our daughter was born. Anyway we saved up and got a place of her own for about 2 and half years now.

Now during that time of living at her mum and dads I did not really like living there as I wanted a place of my own. So I became deatched from her mum and dad and just started staying in the bedroom with my girlfriend and my daughter. Anyway we saved up for a new place and moved in.

As I have been in debt before I never wanted to get in debt again so I became bad with money by not spending it and not going out as much as I could of done or we wanted to. I just said we had no money. Anyway during the last 3 years I had become addicted to prescription drugs codiene ones with 30mg. I was sometimes taking upto 8 to 10 in one go and just chilling all the time on the couch. She has previous left 2 times as I did not particapate in things and has come back.

Even when she left we was still doing things but just living apart she even made sure I was fed. But this time she has been gone 35 days on Sunday telling me she had enough its not working and she feels worthless. This was the final shock for me after beinf addicted to painkillers for 3 plus years the day she left I have not took one and its been hell getting over them plus her leaving with my daughter. Anyway 35 days on Sunday not touching them. We have spoken mainly by text but she does not want to come back.

I have tryed everything explaining I am getting off these for you and I will be a boy friend and a father to my daughter. Dont even come home lets just go out and see where it takes us. As I cant have closure like this knowing I have not tryed. I do so want to try and want nothing more but she is staying at her mums and I cant get to her on her own. Last time we spoke I said give me a chance so we can try dont come home lets just sit and talk. She said yes we can do that but I dont want to give you false hope.

I am not a person who talks my feelings out so dont really wanna talk to my family etc. So I decided get some honest opinions on here on what to do. She has asked for me to leave her alone and she will see if she will miss me or not. I give her time then bombard her with texts or something. I dunno what to do keep at her or leave her alone to just get on with it and accept it? Like I said before I cant have closure while I was on these pills. I can handle it if I was not on them like now and things dont work out I can accept closure then cos I know I would of tryed.
delboyuk2005uk Avatar
6y, 7m agoPosted 6 years, 7 months ago
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1 Like #1
http://catmacros.files.wordpress.com/2010/01/tldr_longcat.jpg
banned#2
in b4 someone tells you to use paragraphs or tl;dr or general taking the ****...

oh and "get a new keyboard"

i'll read it now...







edit [email protected] too late!
#3
sorry lol not thinking straught these days. It be nice if you understand what I am saying.
#4
that a bit better
#5
lol @ snailman
banned#6
lol @ this thread

inb4 'football, bloody hell'
banned#7
sounds like its too late mate if i'm honest. id say get a job (if you dont have one) and ask to spend time with your daughter and let her know that she can stick around too.

don't bombard her but do let her know that you still love her and are trying to change for her in big ways. dunno what else to say mate. good luck.
#8
To be honest, I can see where she's coming from. It's bad enough being with someone who never wants to do anything or go anywhere as it is, but when you've got a child, it's selfish really. You cant expect a child not to go anywhere or do anything and you cant expect the mother to have to take her everywhere by herself all the time. It must have felt to her like she was a single parent.

I know you say you've stopped taking the tablets now, but you need to realise that it might be too late. 3 years is a long time for you to not want to go out anywhere as a couple or as a family. Give her space, as sending loads of texts is likely to just make her fed up of you, but the best thing you could do to show her that you mean it when you say you're sorry and you're changing is to take her and your child out somewhere nice for a family day out. Do this on a regular basis, as whether she takes you back or not, you need to get into the habit of doing things with your little one and try to keep on good terms with your ex :thumbsup:
1 Like #9
To be honest, i honestly can't understand how you see a post on here in the "misc" section, and HAVE to come in and take the mick out of the people posting it. Screw grammar, screw spelling errors and screw punctuation, and look at the whole picture. It takes a lot for somebody to post their situation such as this on a public forum, albeit a deals forum, but some people don't have anywhere or anybody else to go, and the fellas obviously desperate. This is somebodys life, it's not a spelling test, or a **** take, so either STFU and leave the thread or offer some kind of advice.
Delboy, have you tried seeing the doctor with proper advice of coming off the tabs? It could do you more harm just quitting them instead of withdrawing from them.
Also i think you should do as the missus is asking, leave her for a while and both have a breather and see how that pans out. Good luck matey.
#10
A- I wouldn't post it here.

B- I would go the the dr tomorrow, get help and counselling for your issues, to kick the habit definately, it lurks maybe she is afraid, and get a physical check up as you could have done all sorts to your organs. Even if you have given up, prove it to her.

You won't get any closure until you help yourself to get clean.
#11
obviously need a lot of advice

http://www.avforums.com/forums/general-chat/1238154-girlfriend-has-left-what-do.html

perhaps go see a counsellor and give her the space she needs as you're just freaking her out ffs
#12
bykergrove
sounds like its too late mate if i'm honest. id say get a job (if you dont have one) and ask to spend time with your daughter and let her know that she can stick around too.

don't bombard her but do let her know that you still love her and are trying to change for her in big ways. dunno what else to say mate. good luck.


Yeah feels like its to late. No I have a job full time job I was taking these when I was getting home at around 8-10pm and just taking them to get me to sleep and just general chill on them for the buzz.
#13
Keep off the codeine no matter what happens.

As hard as it will be the compulsion to text her etc will be strong but don't do it . You will have to leave her alone to allow her to either break free from you or for her to give you another chance but her rejecting telling you it's over after a period of time after you have told her how you still feel means you tried once (once is all you need to try) and now it's time to move on as hard as that will be for you but keep strong, keep off the meds and occupy yourself with something that can make you proud of what you can achieve and keep regular contact with your daughter.
banned#14
Maybe if I asked for advice on a shopping and audio/video forums on thigns my life would be better.

Then again, maybe not.
#15
thanks for any help guys. Dont like asking for help thats why aint gone the docs or anything like that. She did say to me we will go the docs toether but that was only a few days after she left. Since then things have gotten worse she bevcome more distant. Gonna speak to my mum about time I spoke to her.
#16
delboyuk2005uk
Yeah feels like its to late. No I have a job full time job I was taking these when I was getting home at around 8-10pm and just taking them to get me to sleep and just general chill on them for the buzz.


Have you gone to the dr's to talk about this and get help to make sure you stay clean, maybe she does not beleive you or is scared it will happen again, addicts can be deceptive, just try and see it from her POV.
banned#17
Snap out of it son, don't forget
You got lots of fat friends on the internet

Head down to da misc and weep a bit
There's bound to be someone with a life more shi*

Think yourself lucky you have been loved by someone
There's fatties here who have only kissed their mum

People will tell you there's more fishes in the sea
Smells like the fat women of misk if you ask me

However low you get, just take this advice
Never date a misk gyal unless you want lice
#18
Yes I have told her its been hell. She said she is proud of me for doing it. A few days after she left she did ring me and we spoke and she said we will go the docs together to get you sorted. But nothing happened.

I am bombarding her with txts thinking about it now its pushing her away more than anything else.
banned#19
vibeone
Maybe if I asked for advice on a shopping and audio/video forums on thigns my life would be better.

Then again, maybe not.

no one can help you son.
DJ1
Snap out of it son, don't forget
You got lots of fat friends on the internet

Head down to da misc and weep a bit
There's bound to be someone with a life more shi*

Think yourself lucky you have been loved by someone
There's fatties here who have only kissed their mum

People will tell you there's more fishes in the sea
Smells like the fat women of misk if you ask me

However low you get, just take this advice
Never date a misk gyal unless you want lice


loooooooooooool is this the first poem out of a bg1 fred?
banned#20
delboyuk2005uk
Yes I have told her its been hell. She said she is proud of me for doing it. A few days after she left she did ring me and we spoke and she said we will go the docs together to get you sorted. But nothing happened.

I am bombarding her with txts thinking about it now its pushing her away more than anything else.


dude just text her one last time n tell her you're going to give her some space and that she can contact you when she is ready or just wants to chat etc. dont text her for a week or two atleast just give her some time to think.
banned#21
bykergrove
no one can help you son.


loooooooooooool is this the first poem out of a bg1 fred?


Might be. I am widening my range. Bringing cheer and joy to the breddas and gyal of misk in these dark, ash clouded times.
#22
Problem is that we will still have to see eachother for our daughter as I have with me a few days a week as my mum minds her a few days in the week as she works a few days.
#23
No not seen any doctors but she did say we will go together but she has not followed up on it even when I asked her for help.

Also during the time I was on them I kept on asking for help but she never really knew how bad it was for me to get off them. 34 days is the longest I have been off them. Normally it would be a week and ill just go back onto them.
banned#24
DJ1
Might be. I am widening my range. Bringing cheer and joy to the breddas and gyal of misk in these dark, ash clouded times.

nice nice, like a lyrical Mother Theresa?
delboyuk2005uk
Problem is that we will still have to see eachother for our daughter as I have with me a few days a week as my mum minds her a few days in the week as she works a few days.


that's fine dude.... seeing her in person when you both have to meet is better than you dropping loads of texts. show her when you see her that you have turned your life around. pick up a hobby outdoors and tell your daughter about it when your missus can hear. appear more confident. try to think about the things she liked about you when you first met and become that guy again (if you think it will improve you as a person compared to how you are right now)



stop asking her about the doctor thing. sounds like she doesn't want to go? don't make her feel bad about it.
#25
Give her the space she needs when she comes with your daughter just chat about general things how your daughter has been etc not about whats going on between yourselfs.
Definatly go to the doctor for some help with the tablets and take whatever advice is given hopefully if your gf sees you doing this off your own back she might see you really mean it
good luck with it all
#26
bykergrove
nice nice, like a lyrical Mother Theresa?


that's fine dude.... seeing her in person when you both have to meet is better than you dropping loads of texts. show her when you see her that you have turned your life around. pick up a hobby outdoors and tell your daughter about it when your missus can hear. appear more confident. try to think about the things she liked about you when you first met and become that guy again (if you think it will improve you as a person compared to how you are right now)



stop asking her about the doctor thing. sounds like she doesn't want to go? don't make her feel bad about it.


Yeah easier said then done when all her family are wtahcing over you when you drop your daughter off no time to talk anything but about our daughter.
#27
louloublue
Give her the space she needs when she comes with your daughter just chat about general things how your daughter has been etc not about whats going on between yourselfs.
Definatly go to the doctor for some help with the tablets and take whatever advice is given hopefully if your gf sees you doing this off your own back she might see you really mean it
good luck with it all


Yeah I think this space thing is the only thing I can try now. So dont even mention how I feel to her anymore.
#28
delboyuk2005uk
Yeah I think this space thing is the only thing I can try now. So dont even mention how I feel to her anymore.


I would' nt it will just make it harder for her and probably just frustrate her more
when i split from my ex i asked for space and he just texted and everytime we saw each other (dropping l/o off etc) he would start on about everything in the end decided i could not do it anymore.Think if he had just given me the space i needed it would not have ended the way it did .Its just heaping more pressure on her when she probably going through enough trying to sort her head out.
#29
louloublue
I would' nt it will just make it harder for her and probably just frustrate her more
when i split from my ex i asked for space and he just texted and everytime we saw each other (dropping l/o off etc) he would start on about everything in the end decided i could not do it anymore.Think if he had just given me the space i needed it would not have ended the way it did .Its just heaping more pressure on her when she probably going through enough trying to sort her head out.


Yeah that sounds like good adivce. But would of it of changed yer mind anyway once you made your mind up women dont change.

Have been full on with the texts sending loads some days she mostly ignored the ones at first and just picked out bit she wanted to repsond to.

Last few days proll made her say **** it and told me she dont wanna come back etc.
#30
delboyuk2005uk
Yeah that sounds like good adivce. But would of it of changed yer mind anyway once you made your mind up women dont change.

Have been full on with the texts sending loads some days she mostly ignored the ones at first and just picked out bit she wanted to repsond to.

Last few days proll made her say **** it and told me she dont wanna come back etc.


i had not made my mind up but it was like i was trying to deal with the l/o as a single parent for the first time and everything else and he just kept on and i think thats what broke me to be honest felt like he was not seeing my side of it and was being selfish when i only asked for space for a few weeks to sort out my head
If you give her the space and go get help off your own back i think this would go a long way in making her see your taking her seriously and trying to change
#31
best advice i can give is sort your own life out first and leave her alone until you do.......get a job, learn to drive, take up tai chi, yoga or something to help you relax. also time to sort out your relations with your family by the sound of it as well.....thats what they are there for mate you need support.

http://www.samaritans.org/talk_to_someone.aspx
banned#32
op how many texts a day is "full on" exactly?
#33
louloublue
i had not made my mind up but it was like i was trying to deal with the l/o as a single parent for the first time and everything else and he just kept on and i think thats what broke me to be honest felt like he was not seeing my side of it and was being selfish when i only asked for space for a few weeks to sort out my head
If you give her the space and go get help off your own back i think this would go a long way in making her see your taking her seriously and trying to change


It got to the stage when after all the texts I have sent she has come back and said you have give me no choice but I love you as your my daddys daughter your my best freind but I am not in love with you anymore.

Also saying if I want to get back with you I would but I dont.
#34
bykergrove
op how many texts a day is "full on" exactly?


Proll about 15 to 30
#35
bykergrove
op how many texts a day is "full on" exactly?


bout tree fiddy
#36
casparwhite
best advice i can give is sort your own life out first and leave her alone until you do.......get a job, learn to drive, take up tai chi, yoga or something to help you relax. also time to sort out your relations with your family by the sound of it as well.....thats what they are there for mate you need support.

http://www.samaritans.org/talk_to_someone.aspx


I have got a job and I can drive that part of my life is ok even tho everyone hates there job most of the time.
banned#37
delboyuk2005uk
Proll about 15 to 30


I send that many in a 30 second period.

Usually to random numbers.
banned#38
vibeone
I send that many in a 30 second period.

Usually to random numbers.


lol you're such a freak.


that is a bit much op but i thought you were gonna say like 100!
#39
i would try and sort yourself out a bit and leave out the texts,prove to her u have changed maybe tidy urself up abit some new clothes,haircut etc not saying u look like crap now i just mean maybe try to improve ur appereance and gain a little confidense.worth a try...good luck
#40
delboyuk2005uk
It got to the stage when after all the texts I have sent she has come back and said you have give me no choice but I love you as your my daddys daughter your my best freind but I am not in love with you anymore.

Also saying if I want to get back with you I would but I dont.


maybe its too late and maybe by u seeming needy of her its putting her of u more

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