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gosh what do i do advice please.

greyparrot Avatar
6y, 10m agoPosted 6 years, 10 months ago
my mum rang me before told me that my younger brother who is 22 rang her and asked if she would go to the docs with him as he is feeling depressed and hasnt got anything to live for.i cant believe she cut him short as she was going for a curry with a friend and rang me while she was waiting for the friend to get in the car. now i feel i cant ring him as he will know mums told me and everytime i have seen him over the last few months he has been really awful being cocky and having a go about anything i say.he has a girlfriend and a baby who is 5 months old but i know all isnt rosey he was only with her 3 months when she got pregnant.and when he told her how he was feeling she just said i dont believe you i mean wtf is all that about. i am planning on turning up at the docs tommorrow and taking him somewhere where we can all talk but please help what do i do.
greyparrot Avatar
6y, 10m agoPosted 6 years, 10 months ago
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banned#1
I would get in touch right now.

Depression has to be taken seriously x x
#2
DLM;7743911
I would get in touch right now.

Depression has to be taken seriously x x


+1 he won't worry that you know, it's a cry for help hun :?
#3
DLM
I would get in touch right now.

Depression has to be taken seriously x x


absolutely agree! no offence to your mother op but she went out for a curry? after her son told her he had nothing to live for? his cockiness recently is possibly a way of externalising his feelings-call him,go round,whatever,but do it NOW
#4
DLM
I would get in touch right now.

Depression has to be taken seriously x x


i know hun but we havent been getting on and i dont want him to take it out on my mum for telling me. my older brother rang me yesterday to tell me that one of his mates had died apparently there were 3 of them on a bike with no helmets on in denton and they crashed into a car and the lad on the back which was my younger brothers mate came off and went straight under a bus so i am guessing that this is adding to his depression.
#5
I ain't been funny, but if it was my brother i'd be driving 3 hours to make sure he is ok! Also as for your mother going out on a social after just been told that info, then is she really a good mother??
#6
Try calling and see if hes ok, but dont mention that you spoke to your mum
#7
yeah go see him as soon as you can see if you can help - let him know that you are always there for him
good luck and hope he feels better soon :thumbsup:
banned#8
greyparrot
i know hun but we havent been getting on and i dont want him to take it out on my mum for telling me. my older brother rang me yesterday to tell me that one of his mates had died apparently there were 3 of them on a bike with no helmets on in denton and they crashed into a car and the lad on the back which was my younger brothers mate came off and went straight under a bus so i am guessing that this is adding to his depression.


Just don't mention your mum and just say that you are worried about him because you have heard about the accident.

Can he stay with you tonight or is there somebody who he can stay with for a while? x x
#9
barky
absolutely agree! no offence to your mother op but she went out for a curry? after her son told her he had nothing to live for? his cockiness recently is possibly a way of externalising his feelings-call him,go round,whatever,but do it NOW


i know i cant believe she has cut him short to be honest i told her she should of gone straight round there and she said she knows. i have just text him.
#10
Sound like your mom thinks he's just attention seeking, could this be true?
#11
DLM
Just don't mention your mum and just say that you are worried about him because you have heard about the accident.

Can he stay with you tonight or is there somebody who he can stay with for a while? x x


Just what i was going to say, just mention the accident, if he starts getting cocky with things you say then just stop it you care about him and want to know he's ok, he might open up to you then. Also casually ask if he is up to much tomorrow. Yes he might guess your mom has spoken to you but thats because he's depressed and probably feels like everyone is against him.
Its lovely that you care xx
Shame about your mom though
#12
DLM
Just don't mention your mum and just say that you are worried about him because you have heard about the accident.

Can he stay with you tonight or is there somebody who he can stay with for a while? x x


hun i am on my own with the kids so i cant go round just got a text back saying yeah im fine so i have asked him if i can ring him. i know it sounds stupid but i dont want to cause any trouble for him. i have had words with my mum and she is going to ring him when she gets in.
#13
greyparrot
hun i am on my own with the kids so i cant go round just got a text back saying yeah im fine so i have asked him if i can ring him. i know it sounds stupid but i dont want to cause any trouble for him. i have had words with my mum and she is going to ring him when she gets in.


You aren't silly, i understand.
He could also not want to open up even more now because he tried to earlier to your mom and she went out, he might feel like no one actually really cares. You know thats not true but it can be so hard to think logically when you're depressed and having a 'bad' day with it x
banned#14
greyparrot
hun i am on my own with the kids so i cant go round just got a text back saying yeah im fine so i have asked him if i can ring him. i know it sounds stupid but i dont want to cause any trouble for him. i have had words with my mum and she is going to ring him when she gets in.


How can you be causing trouble for him.

He is your brother and obviously needs help if he is going to the doctor's.

Can he not stay at your's tonight? x x
#15
DLM
How can you be causing trouble for him.

He is your brother and obviously needs help if he is going to the doctor's.

Can he not stay at your's tonight? x x


aww hun the trouble lays with his girlfriend. she doesnt believe anything he is saying baring in mind she should know as her best mates botfriend hung his self the other month.he also wouldnt leave his daughter. i have just spoke to him asked him if he was ok and got alot of umms i said who are you with and he replied his girlfriend he is putting the messages to me that he cant talk if you know what i mean so i said are you seeing mum tommorrow and he has said she is picking him up in the morning and taking him to the docs so i have told him i will see him tommorrow then and he just said ok so hopefully i can drag him off somewhere and have a good talk.
#16
greyparrot
aww hun the trouble lays with his girlfriend. she doesnt believe anything he is saying baring in mind she should know as her best mates botfriend hung his self the other month.he also wouldnt leave his daughter. i have just spoke to him asked him if he was ok and got alot of umms i said who are you with and he replied his girlfriend he is putting the messages to me that he cant talk if you know what i mean so i said are you seeing mum tommorrow and he has said she is picking him up in the morning and taking him to the docs so i have told him i will see him tommorrow then and he just said ok so hopefully i can drag him off somewhere and have a good talk.


That sounds positive :) hope you get to have a good chat, bloody girlfriend though :x
banned#17
greyparrot
aww hun the trouble lays with his girlfriend. she doesnt believe anything he is saying baring in mind she should know as her best mates botfriend hung his self the other month.he also wouldnt leave his daughter. i have just spoke to him asked him if he was ok and got alot of umms i said who are you with and he replied his girlfriend he is putting the messages to me that he cant talk if you know what i mean so i said are you seeing mum tommorrow and he has said she is picking him up in the morning and taking him to the docs so i have told him i will see him tommorrow then and he just said ok so hopefully i can drag him off somewhere and have a good talk.


Hope things go ok x x
#18
Emzy81
That sounds positive :) hope you get to have a good chat, bloody girlfriend though :x


i know but theres not really much i can say about her really as then he will probably go on one its such a shame and he loves his baby daughter too bits.
#19
DLM
Hope things go ok x x


cheers hun, i will have to have a good talk and get to the bottom of whats wrong my mum as already asked but he is saying he doesnt know but i am sure once i get him alone he will open up. just a crazy situation to be in really especially when there are lots of people involved.
banned#20
greyparrot
i know but theres not really much i can say about her really as then he will probably go on one its such a shame and he loves his baby daughter too bits.


He probably is just trying to make things work in a difficult situation.

Hopefully he loves his daughter enough by not doing anything stupid and being there for her for many years to come x x
#21
thanks everyone i am glad i have spoke to him just hope we get to the bottom of whats getting him down.
banned#22
greyparrot
cheers hun, i will have to have a good talk and get to the bottom of whats wrong my mum as already asked but he is saying he doesnt know but i am sure once i get him alone he will open up. just a crazy situation to be in really especially when there are lots of people involved.


Just say that you love him and don't want yourself to be without him or his daughter x x
#23
DLM
He probably is just trying to make things work in a difficult situation.

Hopefully he loves his daughter enough by not doing anything stupid and being there for her for many years to come x x


i think he will be ok.
banned#24
greyparrot
thanks everyone i am glad i have spoke to him just hope we get to the bottom of whats getting him down.


Just be there for him that is all you can do x x
#25
greyparrot
i know but theres not really much i can say about her really as then he will probably go on one its such a shame and he loves his baby daughter too bits.


My ex used to..well do a lot of 'things' to me but i still always defended him, stupid yes and i don't really know how to explain it but i can understand why your brother does it unfortunately, I guess by putting her down he feels like he failed so its like knocking him if you get what i mean?
You just have to hope that one day he opens up to you and just tells you the truth, it could be when you least expect it. its nice that he has his daughter to put a smile on his face :)
#26
Sometimes people just get depressed without having any particular thing to get them down. Bear this in mind, I've been depressed even when everything in my life was rosy and it can get frustrating people asking for reasons and explanations all the time. Depression is very hard to explain to outsiders, just tell him you are there with a hug when ever he needs one and if the doc suggests medication make sure he takes it properly for at least 2 months as it can take that long to "kick in". Good luck to you all xxx
#27
This would of been so hard for your brother to ring your mum i cannot believe she cut him short.From experience i would say talk to him ,go to the doctors with him and if you can afford it try and get him private help asap as the nhs takes a while,will be about £40 an appointment.A short break away would help him.I really hope you can get this sorted , good luck

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