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Health & Fitness - Medical - Urinalysis

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One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor." "Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike … Read More
skusey Avatar
9y, 2w agoPosted 9 years, 2 weeks ago
One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jack says to Mike
behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a
doctor."

"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike
replies. "There's a diagnostic computer at the drugstore at the
corner. Just give it a urine sample and the computer'll tell you
what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and
costs ten dollars...a hell of a lot cheaper than a doctor."

So Jack deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to the
drugstore. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and
asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and
waits. Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:

You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy
activity. It will improve in two weeks.

That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was,
Jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed
some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from
his wife and daughter, and w***** into the mixture for good
measure.

Jack hurries back to the drugstore, eager to check the results.

He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the
results. The computer prints the following:

1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant...twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a
lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never
get better.
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skusey Avatar
9y, 2w agoPosted 9 years, 2 weeks ago
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banned#1
:giggle::giggle: lol
#2
waaaaaaaaaaaaaah

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