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Help Desk Humour

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Just thought I'd post these here for a bit of a :lol: ..................If you've ever felt dumb about the computer, at least you know you are not this bad. Helpdesk: What kind of computer do yo… Read More
rayman Avatar
1d, 2y agoPosted 1 decade, 2 years ago
Just thought I'd post these here for a bit of a :lol:

..................If you've ever felt dumb about the
computer, at least you know you are not this bad.

Helpdesk: What kind of computer do you have?
Customer: A white one...

Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
Helpdesk: Have you tried pushing the button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Helpdesk: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note ..."
Customer: No ... wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's
still on
my desk... sorry

Helpdesk: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?

Helpdesk: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
Helpdesk: Would you click on start for me and ...
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill
Gates damn it!

Hi good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try it
'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in
front of
the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...

Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Helpdesk: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah..............thank you.

Helpdesk: What's on your monitor now ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket.

Helpdesk: And now hit F8.
Customer: It's not working.
Helpdesk: What did you do, exactly?
Customer: I hit the F-key 8-times as you told me, but nothing's

Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Helpdesk: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Helpdesk: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: OK
Helpdesk: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Helpdesk: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work!

Helpdesk: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital
letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?

A customer couldn't get on the internet.
Helpdesk: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Helpdesk: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.

Helpdesk: What antivirus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Helpdesk: That's not an antivirus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.

Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screensaver on my
computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears!

Helpdesk: Microsoft Tech. Support, may I help you?
Old woman: Good afternoon! I have waited over 4 hours for you. Can you
please tell me how long it will take before you can help me?
Helpdesk: Uhh..? Pardon, I don't understand your problem?
Old woman: I was working in Word and clicked the help button more than 4
hours ago. Can you tell me when you will finally be helping me?

Helpdesk: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Helpdesk: OK, and, what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter a, but how do I get the circle around
rayman Avatar
1d, 2y agoPosted 1 decade, 2 years ago

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[color=darkred]We had a new job go into production last night that didn't work quite as expected and had to be re-run this morning. A payroll person expressed concern that the other jobs that need to be run subsequently would not be done in time for them to finish their processing. My friend (let's call him "Jim", since that's his name) assured her that everything would get done one time. We would just run the jobs with the "Runfast" option.

He did eventually tell her that he was kidding, but not before she told her boss about this feature they'd never heard about before. Jim got a phone call from the Payroll Manager asking about this "Runfast" option and "Why aren't we using this on ALL our jobs?"

Jim had to tell him he was kidding. But since then we've been kicking ourselves for not being prepared to answer with "Oh, we can't use it all the time, because it uses too much power and the other servers all slow down and the lights go dim..."[/color]
HA HA HA HA HA!!! They are fab! Can you believe that there are people out there who really are that stupid??
Best laugh I've had all day, Cheers Rayman!
Loads more similar examples here:
old skool but funny
old skool but funny

God you must be bored today MB!:-D

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