how can I stop the bloomin birds pooing off my aerial?! - HotUKDeals
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how can I stop the bloomin birds pooing off my aerial?!

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the aerial man just came and changed the pole so it sits more over the house cos the birds poo all over my patio but it still sticks out a bit so I'm still gonna get poo everywhere! what can I do apar… Read More
kirstyPM5L Avatar
9y, 1m agoPosted 9 years, 1 month ago
the aerial man just came and changed the pole so it sits more over the house cos the birds poo all over my patio but it still sticks out a bit so I'm still gonna get poo everywhere! what can I do apart from shoot the fings cos that'll make more mess!
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kirstyPM5L Avatar
9y, 1m agoPosted 9 years, 1 month ago
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#1
get sky? they'll slip off the dish
banned#2
Pigeon spikes! It will be a pain removing the dead ones, but it'll work. Get pigeon spikes.
banned#3
midlandscomics
get sky? they'll slip off the dish


lmfao


there birds for gawds sake, maybe you could put a potty down and train them -lol
#4
put some cat food up ther, be prepared to deal with larger marks on your patio though
#5
sassie
lmfao


there birds for gawds sake, maybe you could put a potty down and train them -lol


As sassie implies, bird litter tray. Would have thought it would be obvious actually.
banned#6
Wire it to the mains.......
For a short while they might still poo as they lose control of all bodily functions, but the rest will soon notice the dead ones and stear clear!
#7
Shoot them ?
#8
I have heard that they are afraid of silver foil, they put it on top of caravans to deter them......... small strips of bright coloured plastic or ribbon that will move in the wind could do it as they do that on seed patches.
#9
put a scarecrow on top of your roof :p
#10
Fasten a bird feeder to your neighbours aerial, they will be happier there then!
#11
http://www.dreadgazebo.com/gunporn/wp-content/uploads/2007/11/fn-shotgun.jpg
banned#12
harlzter
Fasten a bird feeder to your neighbours aerial, they will be happier there then!


thats just the best:w00t:
#13
smithyp1
Shoot them ?


You're not allowed to if they are pelicans or swans, not worth the risk of shooting the wrong species.

Bird litter tray, all good pet shops have them.
#14
erm ........ I think I'll go with the foil strips lol ta x
#15
put some kind of greasy substance on it and they will slip off!
#16
actually the bird feed on the neighbours aerial is quite appealing.....
#17
kirsty1981
erm ........ I think I'll go with the foil strips lol ta x


Foil strips will deflect your television signal.
#18
princessboo
put some kind of greasy substance on it and they will slip off!


like a giant banana skin?
banned#19
can i ask what sort of aerial you have and where it is located? cause im struggling to work out why it is even over you patio
#20
hottoshop
Foil strips will deflect your television signal.


will it honestly?
should I go with the bird litter tray idea then?
#21
sassie
can i ask what sort of aerial you have and where it is located? cause im struggling to work out why it is even over you patio

a normal one?! it sits at the back of my house and points the same way as everyone elses round here which is straight over my newly laid patio! argh
banned#22
kirsty1981
a normal one?! it sits at the back of my house and points the same way as everyone elses round here which is straight over my newly laid patio! argh


how big is the chuffin aerial, mine sits on my chimney stack, and even if birds sat on it, they would only shat on me roof, not the patio
#23
sassie
how big is the chuffin aerial, mine sits on my chimney stack, and even if birds sat on it, they would only shat on me roof, not the patio


lol :-D
#24
sassie
how big is the chuffin aerial, mine sits on my chimney stack, and even if birds sat on it, they would only shat on me roof, not the patio


lmao

Sassie you have such a way with words. cheered me up yet again, owe you one:-D:gift:
#25
sassie
how big is the chuffin aerial, mine sits on my chimney stack, and even if birds sat on it, they would only shat on me roof, not the patio


perhaps they've got a good aim :thumbsup:
#26
kirsty1981
will it honestly?
should I go with the bird litter tray idea then?


Definitely the bird litter tray. It will also be a great ice breaker and talking point for the summer's BBQ's.
#27
sassie
how big is the chuffin aerial, mine sits on my chimney stack, and even if birds sat on it, they would only shat on me roof, not the patio


normal size i think?!
#28
sassie
how big is the chuffin aerial, mine sits on my chimney stack, and even if birds sat on it, they would only shat on me roof, not the patio


I think it's this big:

http://pictopia.com/perl/get_image?provider_id=620&size=550x550_mb&ptp_photo_id=3733381
banned#29
i think you gonna have to draw us a diagram of house and aerial, cause it sounding like you got a dolls house and a big boys aerial
banned#30
right im not to good on the old drawing front but this is like mine, see no shat anyhere if it directed like mine

http://i213.photobucket.com/albums/cc254/sassie-sassie/noshat.jpg
#31
sassie
right im not to good on the old drawing front but this is like mine, see no shat anyhere if it directed like mine

http://i213.photobucket.com/albums/cc254/sassie-sassie/noshat.jpg


see post #30 for the aerial in question.
banned#32
oh wow, that is some aerial, maybe the op runs some kind of mucky shop from their home
#33
sassie
right im not to good on the old drawing front but this is like mine, see no shat anyhere if it directed like mine

http://i213.photobucket.com/albums/cc254/sassie-sassie/noshat.jpg


lovin you're custom windows sas :thumbsup:
#34
sassie
oh wow, that is some aerial, maybe the op runs some kind of mucky shop from their home


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v232/murdoch2002/untitled-1.jpg
banned#35
lmfao @ midlandscomics, im sure i just peed myself
banned#36
op turn it the other way round you doughnut
#37
midlandscomics
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v232/murdoch2002/untitled-1.jpg


now thats what I call detached... if thats to scale (and theres no reason why it shouldnt be, there aint no other gaffe in a 15 mile radius! - Also if enough birds sat on that ariel it would topple over, in effect its a cantilever beam

Can I also state that from the image you bird shats like a rabbit, I blame global warming!
#38
sassie
lmfao @ midlandscomics, im sure i just peed myself


http://www.hotukdeals.com/item/190341/free-incontinence-product-samples/

happy to help :thumbsup:
#39
I think you might need to stop chucking your stale bread on the roof OP

http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f160/ordinaryphotos/bird_on_aerial.jpg

http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f160/ordinaryphotos/birdaerial.jpg
#40
how are you all drawing pics?! i wanna do it!

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