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How do u get on with your OH family

muckyangel Avatar
6y, 9m agoPosted 6 years, 9 months ago
OK all of my OH family hate me even tho they dont really no me. His mum has only met me twice for about halh an hour each time. we often babysit for his sister but she will not talk to me and last time i was in a room by myself while he was making coffee and i said hello, she looked at me and wallked out of the room. he has told me that she has never asked me to babysit she ask's him and I just go with him. I met his daughter once and we got on fine. the next week when she was ment to come to the house she told my OH i dont want to come I hate her and his ex said she dose not want to see her she hates her. (ok its hard for kids but they have been divorced for six yeard and she has another kid with her partner).

I cant go to any of his family coz his oldest daughter (19) never wants to met me so i cant go to partys and they have lots (he is going to one on saturday)

His mum has called me a freek and dose not even no me.

I dont no if i really want to no this family but they are part of my OH life and i feel so left out as he is always invited to my family things.

how would you deal with this?
muckyangel Avatar
6y, 9m agoPosted 6 years, 9 months ago
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1 Like #1
Why the hell are you with him if he allows this to happen ?
[mod][Moderator]#2
Get your oh to stick up for you
#3
He should really talk to thme on your behalf he shouldnt let that happen :(
#4
choc1969
Why the hell are you with him if he allows this to happen ?


have been asking myself this. his sis had a party for new year and i was told i could not go (and only told me about the party on the day) so he went for a few hours. I cot a call at 6.30am to pick him up.
#5
aaron14danni
He should really talk to thme on your behalf he shouldnt let that happen :(


he says he want a quiet life and dont need the agro but we argue all the time over his family
#6
muckyangel;8019349
have been asking myself this. his sis had a party for new year and i was told i could not go (and only told me about the party on the day) so he went for a few hours. I cot a call at 6.30am to pick him up.


you need to face facts and end it

its not only his family treating you like crap but he is as well :roll:

if I lived near you I'd come and slap you

you deserve better........harsh I know but hate people being treated badly

left my OH when his dad said he didn't want black grandchildren ffs
#7
my friend had problems with his girlfriends family not appoving of them but they had a child n her family wanted to see him. They got into a big fight n they basically told her family you either accept us or u dont see the baby. quite harsh but it worked and everythings ok now!
#8
left my OH when his dad said he didn't want black grandchildren ffs[/QUOTE]

Man thats horrible!! :x
#9
aaron14danni
left my OH when his dad said he didn't want black grandchildren ffs


Man thats horrible!! :x
#10
aaron14danni;8019417
Man thats horrible!! :x


my ex's loss and I'm with someone whose family don't care etc :-D
#11
aaron14danni
my friend had problems with his girlfriends family not appoving of them but they had a child n her family wanted to see him. They got into a big fight n they basically told her family you either accept us or u dont see the baby. quite harsh but it worked and everythings ok now!


i was hoping after two years they might give me some time but i guess not.
#12
choc1969
my ex's loss and I'm with someone whose family don't care etc :-D


so there is a happy ending:thumbsup:
#13
muckyangel;8019461
so there is a happy ending:thumbsup:


of course and there will be for you when you kick him to the kerb :thumbsup:
#14
I don't get on with my hubbys step mum, she was a total bitch at our wedding! Hubbys dad sided with her and my hubby stuck up for me. As a result we don't have anything to do with them. (thats the very short version!)
Your oh should def back you up and not let his family treat you that way.
#15
if you mean anything to your OH then he should stick up for you and tell his family to back off if you havent done anything wrong, he might want a quiet life but if his family are like this with any of his partners he will have a very lonely quiet life on his own. maybe he should stay away from them for a while and see how they feel.
#16
muckyangel
have been asking myself this. his sis had a party for new year and i was told i could not go (and only told me about the party on the day) so he went for a few hours. I cot a call at 6.30am to pick him up.

I hope you told him to get bent, sounds like hes taking the pee out of you.
how can you have a life together if hes leading a double life with you and them.
#17
Couldn't agree more.


Life is too short to wait around and be treated like sh*t.
#18
pink-ka
if you mean anything to your OH then he should stick up for you and tell his family to back off if you havent done anything wrong, he might want a quiet life but if his family are like this with any of his partners he will have a very lonely quiet life on his own. maybe he should stay away from them for a while and see how they feel.


he would never stay away from them. his mum called up a few weeks back coz she could not start the car and he went there. she had the steering lock on
#19
OK to be honest its getting me down and iv been very sad over this but his family are alway going to come first. his 43. all i want to do is cry over the whole thing
#20
Why do they dislike you? How long have you been together?
#21
you need to kick him to the kerb

most of my OH family are lvely but his brothers wife is a witch, done so many nasty countless things so wont bore you with them

he is the kind of person who doesnt take notice of anything if someone dont like him he shrugs his shoulders and he genuinlly doesnt care

but i told him this bothered me and he stuck up for me if he didnt we would of had strong words
#22
get rid .He will never pick you over them . You deserve better xx
#23
Goonieman
Why do they dislike you? How long have you been together?


we have been together for two years. I thought his youngest daughter and i got on ok when we met. we both took her out for MC'ds and i have been nothing but nice to the rest i have met. the rest just dont want to no.
banned#24
juicyx
get rid .He will never pick you over them . You deserve better xx



what that person said i think you should talk to him if he doesnt want to listen tell him you need time apart for while.then it will make him appriciate you more if he still doesnt change his act tell him its over
i hope everything works out the best for you
#25
I get on fine with my husbands mum and brother. His sister has issues with me, to the point where she won't see me, but I can live with that. I have a good relationship with her eldest daughter which I think is the important thing.
As above, if his family are treating you this way and he won't say anything, then I'd question why I was with him. I do believe family is important, but their lack of respect for their relatives choice of partner is a bit staggering, and if he wanted to be with you then he should make that clear to them.
#26
I think you need to decide if its worth all the crap, if its getting you down either try to sort it or move on. Lifes to short to spend it being unhappy.
#27
lulu123
what that person said i think you should talk to him if he doesnt want to listen tell him you need time apart for while.then it will make him appriciate you more if he still doesnt change his act tell him its over
i hope everything works out the best for you


last night we had a agument over a family party he is going to on sat, i told him if his family cant except me we should call it a day, he said ok coz i dont need the agro.
#28
well his not home yet.
#29
muckyangel
last night we had a agument over a family party he is going to on sat, i told him if his family cant except me we should call it a day, he said ok coz i dont need the agro.


Then get rid of him, it's simple. If he can't be bothered then surely that makes it easy for you?!
#30
muckyangel
last night we had a agument over a family party he is going to on sat, i told him if his family cant except me we should call it a day, he said ok coz i dont need the agro.


OMG!!! get rid of the creep now!!!!!
#31
muckyangel
last night we had a agument over a family party he is going to on sat, i told him if his family cant except me we should call it a day, he said ok coz i dont need the agro.


Well theres your answer, move on to something better.
#32
muckyangel
last night we had a agument over a family party he is going to on sat, i told him if his family cant except me we should call it a day, he said ok coz i dont need the agro.


TBH he sounds like a real jerk. It sounds like a no win situation for you :(
#33
angelfairee
Then get rid of him, it's simple. If he can't be bothered then surely that makes it easy for you?!


+1
#34
muckyangel
last night we had a agument over a family party he is going to on sat, i told him if his family cant except me we should call it a day, he said ok coz i dont need the agro.


Its prob not what you want to hear but you are better off without him x
#35
oh my gosh i cannot believe you have put up with this for so long. i have had the 2 faced bit with his family where they are all nicey nicey to your face and then i find out they have said stuff behind my back and i didnt say anything for a couple of years until one day i had had enough of hearing it all that i let them all know that i didnt give a toss what people thought about me and if they had a problem say it too my face as i dont like hearing it being passed about. that soon sorted them. but my fella isnt like yours dont get me wrong he cares for his family and all that but for partys etc there is no way he would go alone infact i have to talk him into going we us as he would sooner not bother going lol.and they know he only goes because of me.

anyway easy for us to say get rid but it has to be your choice if he isnt going to make things change than can you carry on being left out thats the question you have to ask yourself.
banned#36
muckyangel
last night we had a agument over a family party he is going to on sat, i told him if his family cant except me we should call it a day, he said ok coz i dont need the agro.


I dont think he realy cares about you i think you might need to move on and leave him

Sometimes doing the right thing is hard but it is worth it at the end
#37
muckyangel
last night we had a agument over a family party he is going to on sat, i told him if his family cant except me we should call it a day, he said ok coz i dont need the agro.


that is like telling you you are at the bottom of his list when really you should come first. and basically he doesnt give a toss so yeah i would leave him i know its not easy hun but if he cares for you that much then he would change things.
#38
greyparrot
that is like telling you you are at the bottom of his list when really you should come first. and basically he doesnt give a toss so yeah i would leave him i know its not easy hun but if he cares for you that much then he would change things.


that is what i said last night that i am at the bottom, he told me not everything is about you.

I just dont want to be alone again is that rong
#39
its always worse then it really is when you leave someone i was scared to leave my possesive ex when i was 20, turns out it wasnt that bad and i survived even thou i lost a lot of so called friends it really was worth it
#40
muckyangel
that is what i said last night that i am at the bottom, he told me not everything is about you.

I just dont want to be alone again is that rong


Thats not wrong at all but you can find someone else, you deserve better

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