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How to amuse yourself in Tesco

ukmonkey Avatar
8y, 3m agoPosted 8 years, 3 months ago
Proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her husband or
boyfriend along shopping

This letter was recently sent by Tesco's Head Office to a customer

Oxford :

Dear Mrs. Murray,

While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty

Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you

and your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his

antics. Below is a list of offences over the past few months all

verified by our surveillance cameras:

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in

people's trolleys when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-

minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to

feminine products aisle.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone,

'Code 3' in housewares..... and watched what happened.

5. August 14:
Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted

6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department
told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and
a Calor gas stove.

7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him,
he began to cry and asked, 'Why can't you people just leave
me alone?'

8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a
mirror, picked his nose, and ate it.

9. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the
Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the

10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming
Mission Impossible'

11. December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the 'Madonna
look' using different size funnels.

12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed,

13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker,
assumed the foetal position and screamed 'NO! NO! It's those
voices again.'

And; last, but not least:

14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a
while; then yelled, very loudly, 'There is no toilet paper
in here.'
Other Links From Tesco:
ukmonkey Avatar
8y, 3m agoPosted 8 years, 3 months ago

All Comments

(15) Jump to unreadLocked
Tee Hee Hee. Made me laugh. :thumbsup:
is that your husband or how would you know???
:lol: funny!!
Fantastic... Sounds like my Dad!

I can see all my mates reading this 1st thing tomorow when they get in work.
obviously fake but funny
Someone emailed this to me a few weeks back, very funny :p

That's funny ! I wish someone would do stuff like that when i do my tesco shopping, would make it much more interesting! lol !
obviously fake but funny

That's funny ! I wish someone would do stuff like that when i do my tesco shopping, would make it much more interesting! lol !

staff often do the condom one to other staff members my hubby did it a few times in his teenage years
lol.. very good
i dont take my husband shopping any more because when we get to the tills and all the shopping has gone through he would shout HOW MUCH very loud
haha genious

heres another idea, its from the comedy legend that is ross noble

when out shopping and feeling rather bored, if you do not have dog pick up a can of dog food, and shout your partners name untill they eveyone in that isle is looking, when she finally shouts "what" ask her if you need any dog food, and wait for " no we havent got a dog"

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