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I don't know what to do

f5n Avatar
banned9y, 2m agoPosted 9 years, 2 months ago
Im at University at the moment, and my girlfriend is about an hour away.
I dont know whether i want to be here.
I'm not really enjoying myself, im really missing everyone and everything mainly my family and my girlfriend.

basically before i had got my results, i had decided i was going to commute, but then the day before i got them, i thought nah im going to live there.

Now 3 days on, im lonely, and not really enjoying myself.

I dont know what to do, i havent started lectures or work yet.
I'm thinking i'd rather be back home commuting to uni and being able to see my girlfriend, family etc more ( as her uni is not far from home).

What are your thoughts.
Much appreciated
f5n Avatar
banned9y, 2m agoPosted 9 years, 2 months ago
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#1
[SIZE="2"]Ahh, sorry to learn of your predicament. :-( I'm fortunate that my uni is in Glasgow where I live. Unfortunate though that I've not got a girlfriend.

Whatever you decide to do, I urge you not to drop out of uni - it truely is an incredible experience :thumbsup:[/SIZE]
banned#2
Thats the thing, i dont want to drop out!
Just be back home and commuting to uni.
Like get a transfer or something to another uni, but i bet its too late.
#3
It's very early days yet, I'd hang on in there for the moment at least until your lectures begin. You need to give it longer than you have really.

But, if you still feel the same after giving it longer then there is no point in pinning probably best to return home.

Hope things sort themselves out for you and keep us posted as to your progress.

Take care.
#4
Surely there are another 20+ people in exactly the same situation, Isn't that where going down to the bar for cheap student drinks (£1.60 a pint!, bargain!) comes in?
#5
Maybe you should give yourself a little longer to settle in. Obviously you will be feeling homesick at the moment. Have you spoken to your family and girlfriend about this yet and if so what do they think?

Good luck with whatever you decide :friends:
banned#6
I think, like others, its very early days yet and maybe try and give it a little longer, once you start making new friends it will become easier, whatever you decide good luck :thumbsup:
banned#7
Yeah ive spoken to mum/ girlfriend, theyve just said see how it goes.
#8
f5n
Yeah ive spoken to mum/ girlfriend, theyve just said see how it goes.


I think that's the best, don't do anything too hasty and just give it time.

Basically, that's what we all have suggested here too.

Good luck :thumbsup:
banned#9
i think the reason is because freshers week starts 24th.
But i stupidly came down to my accomodation a week early.
When most people are moving in on the 22nd.
But tomorrow i am going to my girlfriends uni for a couple of days, and onceim back more of my flat mates wil have moved in. And my best mate will be moving down on the 22nd.

But still i really dont know whether i want to be here.
#10
f5n
i think the reason is because freshers week starts 24th.
But i stupidly came down to my accomodation a week early.
When most people are moving in on the 22nd.
But tomorrow i am going to my girlfriends uni for a couple of days, and onceim back more of my flat mates wil have moved in. And my best mate will be moving down on the 22nd.

But still i really dont know whether i want to be here.


I'm sure when you have your best mate and new flat mates around you, you will feel more positive
#11
Worst thing you can do is dawn on the fact your away from your family etc!

Play a game, watch tv, look at random stuff on the internet, wait for your friends to join you and then let the fun begin!
#12
is it odd that i rarely see my family but dont really miss them?

oh F5n it will feel like that at start but throw yourself everywhere all the hangouts bars etc soon friends will be flooding in

best time of your life university

i wouldnt recommend living at home, ''moving out'' allows u to mature be independant less restrictions and allowing u freedom to go CRAZEEEEEEEEEEEEE
#13
As others have said,including your family,give it time.

I assume it is your fisrt time away from home and that can be daunting.Your comfort network is not around you and that will feel strange.

When freshers week starts and the place is buzzing I'm sure it will start to feel a whole lot different,new people,new opportunities will reveal themselves,and this will be the start of some great times ahead.:)
#14
Give it a bit more time. Find the student union bar and make some friends.
There will be loads feeling like you do right now.
Once you start on your lectures you will make friends, and then you wont feel as lonely.
Remember you will only have a few weeks of lectures and you will be home for christmas.:santa: :santa:
Also you could always go home for weekends.
Chin up.:thumbsup: :thumbsup:
banned#15
Yeah, i mean i wish i hadnt have come up for the week before.
Also if ihadnt have booked the tickets to see my girlfriend, id've gone home until the weekend,come back sunday and meet the new flat mates etc.

I bet i will enjoy it when the lectures start, after having 4 months of no college work etc, its boring.
#16
susanemily
Find the student union bar and make some friends.


A good idea - but don't make the same mistake I made, and try to make 'best friends forever' with the first person you bump into that isn't a total freak. Chances are they'll end up stalking you, and you'll spend the rest of your time at uni avoiding them :giggle: :giggle:

As you can see 'an end in sight' to your loneliness, just focus on that - spending time with your GF is something to look forward to, and your best mate coming down should make things an AWFUL lot easier for you.

Hope you manage to stick it out, and make the most of your independence !
Melissa
#17
Living at home especially in your first yr will make it harder for you to make friends and have fun. Everyone goes out late gets hammered and comes home together and has random convs over a kebab in the common room for hours. Its the best way to meet people. Don't worry once eveyone moves in you will easily make friends, everyone will be in the same boat and eagar to make friends thus all these problems will go away. As for the g/f if your relationship is strong enough and ready the distance will be manageable.
[helper]#18
You are in a real transition stage at the moment as well as being at a loose end. Stick with it - uni is a fantastic environment with so many opportunities...It doesn't mean you'll never be unhappy or lonely but just accept there will be good times and bad times and that its nothing abnormal and you'll be fine.

Out of the three other lads I played pool with my first evening at uni - 1 dropped out after a couple of days, another I was friendly with for a week or so 'till I realised he was an idiot, the 4th is still my friend 20 years later...pretty much par for the course I think.
#19
Stick with it mate!! Give it time. Socialise (if you can afford it)...Stay off the forums..youll not make it out alive!. This is the big break away from home. Independence. Yee ha!! I never went home after term 1. It is nice to go home once in a while, have a good feed and get the washing / ironing done but once you have spread the wings....Not being funny here - fully expect my kids to do the same in due course.

There is the cost - you may be more comfortable at home..that depends on your own circumstances...But you must have gone to Uni for the right reasons in the first place.

Re the Girlfriend - yes being apart is not great. Managed to keep our relationship going through Uni at opposite ends of the Country (Aberdeen / Glasgow) - married after and have been (forever...it seems now) since. Stick at it mate...you wont regret it.
#20
Just wondering how it's going for you now? :?
#21
[SIZE="1"][/SIZE]When you say 'commute', i presume you meant daily - i which case how would you make the journey? If you have to rely on public transport would it be too extravagant to go home every weekend? My daughter was only 12 when she had to attend boarding school (long story) on a weekly basis. If you've never lived away from home on a long term basis, it is pretty daunting, but you have to remember that the vast majority of people are in the same boat. Stick it out mate - new and unfamiliar experiences are rarely enjoyable at first [SIZE="1"](please note - i did say rarely - always an exception to the rule:whistling: )[/size]
banned#22
uni is a waste of time!- long gone those days where jobs were garunteed.

its a waste of time and money

so many ppl with mickey mouse degrees its a joke

employers no longer care about degrees instead work exp is valuable....

so just drop out and go back 2ur girlfriend, make hot passion and monday morning look for a job- its harsh but its reality!!!!!
banned#23
f5n
Thats the thing, i dont want to drop out!
Just be back home and commuting to uni.
Like get a transfer or something to another uni, but i bet its too late.


Speak to your tutors, they can arrange a transfer to another uni even at this late stage... I did when I got thrown out of my house, and was homeless, I had to change uni's for one with a dorm :-D

Although I will say my degree in computer science is a complete waste of space, as I am now a HGV driver. Love the job, much better than being in an office staring at a computer screen all day long!!! Took me 2 months to get my HGV licence, and after 2 years I already earn £5k more than I was as a computer programmer.

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