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I hate the system and the system hates me

spritey Avatar
6y, 11m agoPosted 6 years, 11 months ago
I'm annoyed.

The older i get, the more annoyed i become. So much so that quite often i feel an uncontrollable urge sit on the side of the M6, drop kicking townies into the oncoming traffic.

I earn a good salary, i'm no Donald Trump but i've got all the niceties in life you'd want. I'm able to support my wife (currently unemployed) and son without much of a problem.

I have however encountered a rather irritating problem.

My wife is a primary school teacher, she had to leave her job because we moved for my work. Since my son was born she has gotten statutory maternity pay of £125 a week, it wasn't much but it was still £500 a month.

This stopped last week, quite a sizable amount is now missing from our income. It will partly be replaced by JSA, but that is only £86 a week.

My wife had two job interviews last week, both offered one day after another. She wasn't successful (very close) at obtaining a position, but rome wasn't built in a day and we hope it's just a matter of time.

In order to attend these interviews it was:

- Full day childcare for 2 days: £65
- Taxis to and from the interviews on both days: £40

So £105 for just two interviews.

Single parents get free childcare in these instances and commuting costs.

Where is our help? I'm not able to take off work at such short notice. Especially at this time of year, so it's unfair to think the other parent will always be around to elevate the cost of childcare.

Imagine if she has 4 interviews in a month, that's £210 a month.

There just doesnt seem to be much help and support for the middle class when theyre in a bad position.

Perhaps if my wife tattoos our sons name on her arm, walks into the job centre with a limp and says innit every after sentence wed have more luck.
spritey Avatar
6y, 11m agoPosted 6 years, 11 months ago
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#1
Are you anywhere Manchester on the M6? I'll meet you.
I know how you feel mate. Do F all and get everything laid on.
Sickening.
The harder you work the less you are entitled to.
#2
same here in glasgow.
#3
not all single parents get help!
some of us (me for one) get the same lack of help as couples, and son't even have the option of the other half being available to asist where required (i'll pause here to give silent but heartfelt thanks to my own parents).

If you never worked the system seems to lay it on for you, but please lay off the single parents in your rant, the system hates us as well.

Hope your wife is successful next time.
#4
deek72
Are you anywhere Manchester on the M6? I'll meet you.
I know how you feel mate. Do F all and get everything laid on.
Sickening.
The harder you work the less you are entitled to.


Yeah - completely backwards.

My wife went into the job centre, she'd been applying for work for the last 3 months.

They asked her to keep a log of what she applied for, then insisted she check the job centre website, the newspaper and then other sources.

She stated that teaching jobs are 99% of the time on the county council website, but she was still asked to check the job centre website.. Even when on there initial search, it brought back nothing.

Then she is told that is so many weeks, she'd have to attend a "back to work" interview, in a room with all the other scumbags. Thankfully they agreed to do it one on one when my wife pointed out how difficult that would be with a child, as we have no family around here to provide childcare..

It still sickens me that she has to attend a "back to work" interview, which will probably be conducted by someone less educated than her! I mean she is degree educated.. She doesn't need help finding a job, it's just a matter of applying, interviewing and eventually it'll happen..

Sure some people need that kind if support and monitoring, they need the motivation otherwise they'll leech of the state till rapture.. My wife isn't one of them.. They apply this "one size fits all" approach, my wife felt not only degraded going through that all.. But insulted that she wasn't treated with more respect.

wonder-baby
not all single parents get help!
some of us (me for one) get the same lack of help as couples, and son't even have the option of the other half being available to asist where required (i'll pause here to give silent but heartfelt thanks to my own parents).

If you never worked the system seems to lay it on for you, but please lay off the single parents in your rant, the system hates us as well.

Hope your wife is successful next time.


I'm not having a dig at single parents.

I'm simply pointing out that they receive help with childcare costs and commuting costs for interviews (which we will told), but we don't qualify because we are a couple.. Which doesn't seem fair or take into account the circumstances of that couple.
#5
If your wife is claiming JSA she can ask for help to get to interviews and stuff. I can't quite remember whether she is only eligible if she is signing on for so many weeks thiugh. It's been a while since I worked there. Tell her to ask about the Advisor Discretionary Fund (ADF's)
#6
You would save money by using buses instead of taxi's
a lot of money!

Think yourself lucky

I work, but my other half cant since he had brain surgery, but we get no help at all
My costs are driving to work each day 100 miles round trip, £240 a month JUST on diesel this works about around £400 a month when you include tax insurance etc for the car

People will say get a job closer to home, but that isnt easy and I love my work.

He cant get any benefots whatsoever because I'm right on the threshold where he is entitled to nothing at all
Not even sick pay, as he didnt have enough NI contributions when he got ill.

so we have to manage on just my money to pay the morgage and all bills, leaves us each month with at least one bill to put off til lthe next month, never ends!
#7
bookmarking thisnnko90; ;oy53 t
#8
i was in this position when i had my girls - me and partner worked it out between us - i changed my job - completely and worked evenings 6 - 2 in morning - oh did days as money was better - but he had the joy of bringing up girls as well

he would take me to work then take girls to the park etc - i would get taxi home -

in your case - why doesnt your wife go subbng - approx £160 a day!!!!!! money for nothing - glorified babysitters - especially with 11 - 18yr olds

and pay for nursery - you can still get nursery vouchers which are worth more to people on higher income
#9
Not sure if you missed off anything off there.

http://www.askbaby.com/baby-financial-benefits.htm
#10
Life is getting harder for lots of people. But not all. Picking on single parents is not the answer. Instead of fighting for crumbs dropped on the floor you should look at who is stuffing the cake in their mouth. Banks have had billions of our money paid to get them out of the mess they made while drunk on excess through the last couple of decades.

This is always the way. Crisis after crisis has been created by big banks and big corporations. Then they do try and make us pay. Unfortunately for the middle classes they are they only ones who in good times are lucky enough to have a tiny cushion against the worst excesses so in a real crisis they do get hit hard (there is only so much you can squeeze out the poor before they starve to death and this is not good for the recovery!).


This is where it gets dangerous because all fascist movements in history have grown on the back of the middle class at these times. They look down at the poor and are scared and angry, they look up at the rich and are the same. Fascists blame the rich and anybody different (in most societies being different means being poor).

The real answer is to join together with all those suffering at the hands of the banks and big bussiness and take the whole cake off the rich and share it around!
2 Likes #11
Im afraid I am struggling to feel sympathetic when you are "sickened" by the thought of your wife having to do a back to work with someone "less educated". Having to sit in a room with "scumbags"

and the sweeping generalisation in the op regarding people who "limp" and say "innit" etc etc?

smacks of the worst kind of misguided snobbery imho-sweeping generalisations abound-maybe try writing the editorial for the sun to make a few extra quid.
#12
There is a solution, but it involves you leaving her. As a single mum, she'd get more than enough money to put baby in full time private nursery, then she can choose to go to work or not! It's disgusting. I'm married, with three children under three, and I don't work through choice (and I've never been on benefits). But we recently worked out on the entitledto.org (or whatever it is) website, that if hubby left me, I would get enough money to put them ALL in nursery, pay the bills (and thus keep the house) and have all day every day free of the children to look for work (or not, if I feel especially like a scrounger). I'm not saying all single parents are scroungers, I'm really not. But the system is definitely set up to encourage it. I can certainly see why people claim to be living without a partner, when they're not. Tempting!

Personally I wouldn't be claiming the JSA unless I really needed it. The whole process is degrading and humiliating. But I do understand. If needs came to it now, I'd struggle. There's no family round here to have all three kids, and hubby works a long way away, with no flexible leave. I can't see how I would get time to sign on, let alone attend interviews. Hopefully the stress would all become too much and hubby would leave me. At least temporarily... :whistling:
#13
barky
Im afraid I am struggling to feel sympathetic when you are "sickened" by the thought of your wife having to do a back to work with someone "less educated". Having to sit in a room with "scumbags"

and the sweeping generalisation in the op regarding people who "limp" and say "innit" etc etc?

smacks of the worst kind of misguided snobbery imho-sweeping generalisations abound-maybe try writing the editorial for the sun to make a few extra quid.


Well said, OP sounds like a right snob.
#14
chester123
Well said, OP sounds like a right snob.


+1 :thumbsup:
#15
Sorry to hear about your situation Spritey and good luck to your wife with her job hunting.

I couldn't agree more with you about the whole system in this country, people like you and me both work very hard just trying to survive rather than enjoying a living. It seems that we get punished the more we work.

My wife is currently doing some part time work to help fill in the deficit of our home expenses, we're always overdrawn. I'm in a reasonable well paid job too, but because we have 3 children (1 just 3 years old), she looks after the youngest. We get very little support from the government since we 'just ' hit the threshold for any grant/welfare/support or whatever you call them.

I don't mind paying my tax to the government as long as it is plough back into the system for our future generation - Education, health, etc, but all I read every day is how the government take us for granted with their expenses, lack of control with immigrants who do not contribute to the system (note, I am foreign myself, but worked and paid my tax since I left university). The lenient sentencing to criminal is a laugh in this country.

I just hope the next elected party will do us (working families) soem good, which I doubt :(.
banned#16
barky
Im afraid I am struggling to feel sympathetic when you are "sickened" by the thought of your wife having to do a back to work with someone "less educated". Having to sit in a room with "scumbags"

and the sweeping generalisation in the op regarding people who "limp" and say "innit" etc etc?

smacks of the worst kind of misguided snobbery imho-sweeping generalisations abound-maybe try writing the editorial for the sun to make a few extra quid.


Maybe OP chose the 'wrong' words because they were frustrated.

Maybe you can empathise with that frustration and why they have resorted to these generalisations that they are presented?
#17
barky
Im afraid I am struggling to feel sympathetic when you are "sickened" by the thought of your wife having to do a back to work with someone "less educated". Having to sit in a room with "scumbags"

and the sweeping generalisation in the op regarding people who "limp" and say "innit" etc etc?

smacks of the worst kind of misguided snobbery imho-sweeping generalisations abound-maybe try writing the editorial for the sun to make a few extra quid.


Ever have the pleasure of sitting in the job centre que to sign for your JSA?

I have, when i was made redundant.. It was an experience i won't forget quickly..

When i say 'scumbags' please don't think i am at all trying to soften what i say, or that i am simply making a joke.. I'm serious.. Sure, the amount of saw who looked like genuinely decent and keen to work probabley approximated 10-20%..

The vast majority were there for everything they could lay there hands on, something greatly pointed out by the documentary which covered the back to work programmes.. Images of people sat in a room, reading the sun newspaper.. With very little interest in looking for work, shrugging off most oppurtunities given to them.

I don't care if you feel that is a sweeping generalization or snobbery, i'll go by my experience and what i see first hand.

Will people also realizing i am in no way bashing single parents, just comparing the similarities in situation when it comes to funding childcare for couples.. It's just a comparison that you're penalized for being in a couple.

It’s not to say single parents are bad, but that the system put in place to provide help is.
#18
Maybe if you spent less time on an internet chat board and more time working you may receive a pay rise which will help improve your situation.
#19
chester123
Maybe if you spent less time on an internet chat board and more time working you may receive a pay rise which will help improve your situation.


Don't suppose you've heard of annual leave?
#20
You can drive your wife to the interviews and protect her from the scumbags then. That will be a saving.
#21
As has been mentioned before...public transport costs a lot less that taxis. If she was successful would you moan at the taxi cost to and from work? Also...if was your choice to move where you moved to...not the "systems".
banned#22
davidn84
As has been mentioned before...public transport costs a lot less that taxis. If she was successful would you moan at the taxi cost to and from work? Also...if was your choice to move where you moved to...not the "systems".


There's a reason it costs less - it's unreliable, doesn't always go near to where you want and something else.

They aren't conducive to interviews:thumbsup:
#23
spritey
Don't suppose you've heard of annual leave?


Yeah...which i believe can be used when family members need assistance with such things as job interviews etc.
#24
FilthAndFurry
There's a reason it costs less - it's unreliable, doesn't always go near to where you want and something else.

They aren't conducive to interviews:thumbsup:


Leave earlier...plan better...dont apply for jobs that you cant get to :whistling:
#25
Why should the taxpayer fund childcare? I and my family have went through all these situations and more. We had no government aid for childcare, we had family.
Mothers, fathers, brothers and sisters. The neighbours also helped and we still help each other. If people stopped being envious of every little bit of help a person more unfortunate gets, they would not get so angry.
#26
I agree 100% with the OP. Times are hard at the moment. I'm struggling to afford my Glenfiddich 30 Year Old single malt these days.
#27
I'll cover each point, i was hoping some of you would have some common sense...

davidn84
Yeah...which i believe can be used when family members need assistance with such things as job interviews etc.


By contract, most jobs.. If not all.. Require a certain amount of notice in order to take annual leave, which isn't unreasonable of the employeer.. So not exactly suited to any last minute job interview offers.

chester123
You can drive your wife to the interviews and protect her from the scumbags then. That will be a saving.


Again - point above.

davidn84
As has been mentioned before...public transport costs a lot less that taxis. If she was successful would you moan at the taxi cost to and from work? Also...if was your choice to move where you moved to...not the "systems".


In an ideal world this would be true.. When i was at University it was fantastic, big city.. A bus to anywhere i needed to go without much problem.. The reality is however, majority of towns don't have that sort of public transport.. Especially where i live, so taxis is the only option.

tonyd19565
Why should the taxpayer fund childcare? I and my family have went through all these situations and more. We had no government aid for childcare, we had family.
Mothers, fathers, brothers and sisters. The neighbours also helped and we still help each other. If people stopped being envious of every little bit of help a person more unfortunate gets, they would not get so angry.


Sister lives over 100 miles away... Parents 80 miles.. Both work.. No family locally.. All friends we've made locally work also.. It's a shame but again, it's a situation majority of people are in.
#28
FilthAndFurry
Maybe OP chose the 'wrong' words because they were frustrated.

Maybe you can empathise with that frustration and why they have resorted to these generalisations that they are presented?


not really, being frustrated isn't an excuse for being Ignorant and a snob

the taxi thing is ridicules as well, it would have been cheaper for him to take the day off and drive her to the interview, thus saving money on taxis and child care
#29
I earn a good salary, i'm no Donald Trump but i've got all the niceties in life you'd want. I'm able to support my wife (currently unemployed) and son without much of a problem.

Well why doesn't she just sign up for supply work to keep her hand in and mainly stay at home with your son??

You chose for her to lose her job by moving, surely you had considered the knock-on effects?

It sounds as if you live in a area where there are school buses, so your wife could go to interviews on them.
#30
chesso
Well why doesn't she just sign up for supply work to keep her hand in and mainly stay at home with your son??

I t sounds as if you live in a area where there are school buses, so your wife could go to interviews on them.


Not really, we just live in an area with lots of little towns around in.. Be easier if it was a big town / city she'd be getting interviews.. Then it's a simple hop on the train, but she hasn't yet.

She is signed up for supply, but can't do it short notice.. When she did it before she was pregnant, it was a phone call at 7am "can u be at this school and this time".. For one day.. Isn't really do-able with a child and organizing childcare etc.. Although on a plus, the schools who have interviewed said they'd love her to do supply. So will give her notice of any coming up when people have holiday or are going on courses etc.

Going to expire this tho, going far to off topic.
banned#31
I know where you are coming from I have been ill and struggled with work for 3 year's now.

I'm working at the moment on a temporary contract until boxing day it sickens me on my journey to work that all the council houses in my area are having new windows and boilers etc...

I unfortunately own my own home and have to pay for everything and I get little government help because I am childless and live with a partner that works.

Good luck for the future :thumbsup:
#32
spritey
By contract, most jobs.. If not all.. Require a certain amount of notice in order to take annual leave, which isn't unreasonable of the employeer.. So not exactly suited to any last minute job interview offers.

In an ideal world this would be true.. When i was at University it was fantastic, big city.. A bus to anywhere i needed to go without much problem.. The reality is however, majority of towns don't have that sort of public transport.. Especially where i live, so taxis is the only option.

Sister lives over 100 miles away... Parents 80 miles.. Both work.. No family locally.. All friends we've made locally work also.. It's a shame but again, it's a situation majority of people are in.


Yeah most jobs do require notice...and most jobs have emergency leave available (especially to parents) in case of illness to child etc.

Again...where you live is your choice....maybe an advance check into transport etc. would of been better than to just move there and hope for the best.
#33
spritey
Not really, we just live in an area with lots of little towns around in.. Be easier if it was a big town / city she'd be getting interviews.. Then it's a simple hop on the train, but she hasn't yet.

She is signed up for supply, but can't do it short notice.. When she did it before she was pregnant, it was a phone call at 7am "can u be at this school and this time".. For one day.. Isn't really do-able with a child and organizing childcare etc.. Although on a plus, the schools who have interviewed said they'd love her to do supply. So will give her notice of any coming up when people have holiday or are going on courses etc.

Going to expire this tho, going far to off topic.

Well that sounds like the best of all possible outcomes. She most likely doesn't even want a full -time job with having the little one.
#34
davidn84
Yeah most jobs do require notice...and most jobs have emergency leave available (especially to parents) in case of illness to child etc.

Again...where you live is your choice....maybe an advance check into transport etc. would of been better than to just move there and hope for the best.


Reckon i could live in your please world? The one that doesn't have the realities of life attached to it? Ones where if the main income provider doesn't made redundant that you have to take the best option for you, even if it means a big move to support your family.

Or the world where you always get employeement locally to you so you don't have to look further a field to secure a position or worry about transportation..

Do everyone get free candy in your world to?
banned#35
It does seem that, rather than people discussing the problems in the system which are undeniable, they've decided to attack the OP.

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