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I Just Want to SCREAM

miffy121 Avatar
8y, 4m agoPosted 8 years, 4 months ago
Every day is the same, i have three kids that just keep me busy all day long and when you just want to have a bit of peace at night it is the same old story. The youngest 8 and a half months just wants to be carried around all night, she wont go to sleep, she isnt hungry and i just cant physically carry her around anymore so she is ying down screaming her head of and what can i do apart from SCREAM. Even if she does sleep it is only for 3/4 hour and then she wakes.
Right rant over again and back to it i suppose
Why me, where do i go wrong???
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miffy121 Avatar
8y, 4m agoPosted 8 years, 4 months ago
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1 Like #1
make me a brew when ya get a minute
#2
medised.....:whistling:
#3
is she teething hon - we have all been there - sit at your comp with her on your knee - at least your not carrying her round - i used to have a big cardboard box - couple of cushions - crinkly paper and a few toys

i feel for you - feel sorry for me - a snotty 14yrs old - no kidding - sooner have half a dozen babies!!
#4
awww bless :friends:things will get better :)
1 Like #5
yes, and thats exactly what i get from the OH also comments like what would i do if i were single. well i feel like it most of the time anyway:x
1 Like #6
Sounds like you need some help. Try this link. Not a bad site worth a read

http://www.askbaby.com/sleeping.htm

There is info on this NSPCC site as well, I found it while looking for my sister in law who was going through the same

http://www.nspcc.org.uk/helpandadvice/publications/leaflets/parentingleaflets_wda38357.htm
banned#7
Get your OH to make you a brew then give him the baby and you put your feet up for a couple of hours. :thumbsup:
#8
she maybe teething but its been the same sorry story since she was 17 weeks and tonight i just so fed up after i had to go and tell the older two to get back in bed, then one of them got a drink and spilt it all over the bed
#9
I know you are not going to want to hear this but my 8 1/2 month old goes down at 7pm every night and don't hear a peep until 7am tomorrow morning.
I don't know why! Just lucky i suppose!
#10
i have read pages on the internet, i have seen useless HV and i try. I will wait until school has broken up and then try and sort something as it cant go on like this
#11
THREEMANDE
I know you are not going to want to hear this but my 8 1/2 month old goes down at 7pm every night and don't hear a peep until 7am tomorrow morning.
I don't know why! Just lucky i suppose!

oh your like the mum i am friends with up the road, i call her super mum. It doesnt get to me other nights this bad, i am just tired and wonder why after three kids i still cant get it right and believe me i have tried all sorts of things
#12
Sometimes you need to just let them 'cry it out' If you know that they are not hungry, thristy or dirty and there is really nothing else you can do for them.
My LO likes chewing hankerchiefs when she goes it the cot! Worth a try?!
1 Like #13
this was from other week - hope it makes you smile

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7dj298NRTO8&feature=related
1 Like #14
Miffy :friends:

I know exactly how you feel as I went through the same with both of mine. You feel like you can't carry on and will just break down under the tiredness and pressure but............you will carry on and it will eventually pass. Your children need you and I have no doubt you are a fantastic mother.

When it eventually passes and you start to have time for yourself you won't know what to do with yourself :roll:

In the meantime big hugs and if you need a good cry, go ahead, it helps to get it all the frustration out x
1 Like #15
try fennel - in a drink if you can get it - it used to be the only thing that worked for my daughter

oh and by the way - Im still screaming - and shes 25:)
1 Like #16
my son was the same as your baby but he has calmed down since crawling
as 4 nightime i used to be up and down all night but then stated leaving him to cry(i would be crying too) then after about a week he settled down,he now goes to bed around 7.30 and gets up around 7 (he is 10 and a half months now)
#17
Make the most of the little one while you can! They don't get any better !my eldest is 24 and my youngest is nearly three. I have five of them they just turn horrible!!!!! at any age it doesnt get better!!
#18
I dont want people to think i have not tried various things as i have, she is fine in the day now and she has a snuggy rag, i let her cry in the day and she goes to sleep fine but at night she just screams. thank you for all your comments, i am just tired at the moment and i know it will pass eventually:?
banned#19
Don´t have more kids is my advice..................
1 Like #20
am babysitting and having same problem with my 8 wk old grandaughter she has colic and screams for 3 hours from about 6 till 9 mind she sleeps all night once she is over it but you just gets you down
#21
toshapetriji
Don´t have more kids is my advice..................

yes i have learnt my lesson and she is gorgeous just hard work

I suppose i could make my OH have her however reluctant he is but then i will still have to get her to sleep later when he hands her back and i just think why cant she be like super mum's and sleep 7pm - 7am. Anyway im off to get a tin of lager and a load of chocolate. I will feel guilty in the morning but it will make me feel loads better tonight
#22
Watch pixar videos on youtube... Works for me!
1 Like #23
Sounds to me like you gotten into bad habits. Im having similiar problems with my 61/2 months old, we have had him in gr8 routine hes slept thru the night since about 15 weeks, sometimes waking cos lost dummy or because didnt have it when fell asleep . Hubby (usually its him ) pops dummy back in his mouth and baby go back asleep.

However last few weeks my boy started waking all times of night, dont help my mother in law who has him usually fri and sat night wont stick to my meal time or bed time routine, feeds him main course and then a desert an hour later. So he become really unsettled not at all like his usually happy and extremely energectic self.

So after a week of this i phoned my HV she said really unusual btu she knows my boy is been a bit of a hungry baby taking far more formula from day one which was actually when he was 3 weeks old as i was too sick to carry on breast feeding. She suggested making sure i have good solid bedtime routine and looking at his diet either making sure he has red meat as part of his evening meal ( puree in his case) or feeding him as much of a weetabix as he will take.

This has been working really well so far 1 week in so we see tonight as was at in laws all weekend.
I 've been giving him a small tea at 4pm, weetabix at 6pm then we start his bed time routine and hes in bed 7to7.30 depending on him. She said weetabix as fibre harder for body to digest so she says then least if he wakes at night he's not hungry so to just give water a cuddle and put him back.
I dont know what your baby is like obviously but my boy loves food is always happy when hes eating, hes not big or nothing as im careful what i give him. The only drawback all that fibre has to come otu in the morning but for a night's peace its so worth it.

Tuesday night last week , we put him down at 7pm not a murmur until 6.25am the next morning it was bliss.
Good luck i know you said you read all the stuff online but i brb with a link i found helpful as they give you 6 different methods
http://www.babycentre.co.uk/baby/sleep/habitsbyage6to9months/
1 Like #24
My daughter was just like this. Eventually, I gave her calpol at bedtime and she slept. If she didn't have it she cried and cried. Told the doctor - he said it couldn't hurt her. Never did find out why she cried (and I did take her to the docs and the clinic - lots) but the calpol saved me.
#25
Susannah
My daughter was just like this. Eventually, I gave her calpol at bedtime and she slept. If she didn't have it she cried and cried. Told the doctor - he said it couldn't hurt her. Never did find out why she cried (and I did take her to the docs and the clinic - lots) but the calpol saved me.


She was probably teething, so the Calpol took the edge off teething pain allowing her to sleep
#26
Also i changed him to follow on milk hadnt done it at exactly 6 months due to fact had problems getting him settle on formula in first place. Are you breast feeding ........if so have you considered trying formula at night as its harder to digest . If you use formula are you using the follow on type or have you tried the goodnight one my HV says not to use goodnight milk as its mix feeding compared to daytime one but i know from friends lots of other HV recommend it. Have you thought of phoning the freephoe helpline provided my most formula manufacturers . I know cow and gate have various forms of help and advice on website

If it is teething im finding Ashtons and Parsons teething powders really good
1 Like #27
Oh dear, I feel for you and can tell from your messages that you are at the end of your tether. I have a 7 year old and a 3 year old daughter and the only advice I can really give you is to leave her to cry. I know it sounds really harsh but it worked with my two and most other people that I know and worked 2 different ways. With my eldest we simply left her to cry which absolutely breaks your heart and you feel really cruel but night by night it gets less and less with most out of it after about a week, I think she cried for about 30 minutes the first night, 25 the next, 20 the next etc etc until she would just go to sleep as she learnt I wasn't going to come to her each time.

With my second daughter I was a bit paranoid that she was going to keep awake, or wake up, the eldest so I didn't leave her to cry as long, instead I copied Supernanny (or someone like that) and just went into her, laid her down and left the room (they usually stand up while they're crying, if not then just pick them up for a really short while for a quick hug, only 2-3 seconds and then put them down again). They will most definitely cry again and you have to keep doing this, TRYING to keep calm, no matter how long it takes and again, each night it seems to get less and less.

The first way is the quickest but the most heartbreaking so depends which avenue you want to take. I know some people don't approve of just leaving them to cry but my daughters haven't grown up any the worse for it, they are both affectionate loving girls who sleep through the night no problem (hope I haven't just jinxed myself).

Also, don't get too paranoid that she's waking the others as they have a great nack of sleeping through it all, I think they must have the "husband effect" and switch off. When I asked in the morning if my eldest had heard my youngest she more often than not said no. And don't forget, it's better to leave a child in their cot crying their eyes out than it is to lose your temper with them, they are more likely to be affected by that than being left to cry.

Finally, if you need a bit of a chin up, try looking at [url]www.netmums.co.uk[/url] which is a great website for mums (and dads) that offers loads of advice and has chatrooms where you find that you are most certainly not alone.

I hope some of the above helps, keep your chin up.
Annie
1 Like #28
It will get better my girls are 12 & 19 now ( cant get them out of bed now lol) but when they were babies they would be up every few hours tried everything left them 2 cry then they would be sick so had 2 get them up 2 change sheets, they didnt sleep all night till they started school at the age of 5 (Thank god) then after i used to get up 2 make sure they were still breathing.:?
1 Like #29
Hi

I feel for you, this is not easy for anyone when you have a child like this, I know this is much easier than it sounds but its really important to setup a routine of the same pattern every night.

Try not to let her have a sleep late in the day. My health visitor suggested a pattern something like this.

Bath your child and settle her down with some warm milk or something. Put her to bed and if she cries let her cry but go back after a few minutes. You have to be patient and keep doing this until she goes to sleep. You have to do this over at least a week and every night increase the time you leave her by a few more minutes. This method is really hard work because you have to be strict and keep going back, (you have to keep going back so that she feels secure that you're there) and you have to keep this up for a week or two. This really did work for me. Good luck and I'd like to here how you got on if you try this!

Good Luck!

And remember they're not that little for long and there will be light at the end of the tunnel

Sherrie xx
#30
Good advice Annie1508!
#31
yep it is true if u go to them everytime they cry they will do it non stop!!
just leave them to cry and they will soon learn crying gets them nothing!
#32
I am not losing my temper i just dont have much strength at the moment to sort it out. I think i will have to go back to my HV and try again. She doesnt take formula milk, never would do even though i tried for weeks at the same time. I feed her myself but she has cut right down on that now. To be perfectly honest i dont think i could go down the let her scream route just yet, not until i can get a bit more sleep in somehwere. My BIG mistake was thinking that the 3rd child would be perfect as i knew what i was doing but it wasnt.
#33
churchy2704
Get your OH to make you a brew then give him the baby and you put your feet up for a couple of hours. :thumbsup:


Are miffy121 & Owlass a couple then???

:whistling:
#34
miffy121
she maybe teething but its been the same sorry story since she was 17 weeks and tonight i just so fed up after i had to go and tell the older two to get back in bed, then one of them got a drink and spilt it all over the bed


Sounds like she's got into a routine of being used to being carried around and just cat napping.
You need to break the routine but thats hard. Can your health visitor not give you some advice?

I was going to suggest the leaving her to scream route, read up about it, you don't need to leave her forever, just build up the time gradually.
#35
No not a couple with owlass but my OH sounds just like him lol

As for my HV, that one is totally useless and she should have helped me sort it it out at 17 weeks when nightimes began to get worse. The other HV i have seen since has told me to wait until wednesday when school finishes and i dont have to get up for school journeys every morning
1 Like #36
You must not beat yourself up, you are doing the best you can and remember what others have been saying in that it won't last forever.
She will settle eventually. It sounds like you need some time out before you can deal with this, can you not get someone to take over for a bit so you can get some rest?

Good Luck, hope she settles soon xx
#37
Sorry, not read all the replies so don't know if this has already been suggested, but my little one was exactly the same. It got to the point where to stop him crying I had to swing him in his car seat. I got him one of these http://www.amazon.co.uk/Fisher-Price-Ocean-Wonders-Aquarium-Cradle/dp/B0002VZ20U and it worked a treat. Gave me a bit of peace in the evenings again and my arms stopped looking like I was a world class shot put thrower, lol. Hope you sort something though because it can get a bit miserable when it goes on and on.
#38
We had a swing thing like above and even if you use it when your having something to eat or a cuppa.
Crying is horrid my daughters a year and a mummys girl at the moment couldnt even get my shoes off from work today without her clinging to me but she does have 3/4 teeth coming through poor love.

Here if you want a chat xx
#39
miffy121
I am not losing my temper i just dont have much strength at the moment to sort it out. I think i will have to go back to my HV and try again. She doesnt take formula milk, never would do even though i tried for weeks at the same time. I feed her myself but she has cut right down on that now. To be perfectly honest i dont think i could go down the let her scream route just yet, not until i can get a bit more sleep in somehwere. My BIG mistake was thinking that the 3rd child would be perfect as i knew what i was doing but it wasnt.


Sorry, hope you didn't think I was suggesting you'd lose your temper, probably a bad use of words. With regards to formula, have you tried different makes? Only mention it as my daughter had Cow & Gate formula so when my sister-in-law went onto formula she tried the same one but her daughter was having none of it. She decided to try SMA and has never looked back, her daughter took it first time. Also, try Dr Brown bottles, they are a bit more expensive but are an absolute godsend.

Finally, if you stick to breastfeeding and say she's really cut down, how about trying the bedtime cereal. My eldest started refusing her bedtime bottle at around the same time as your little one so we used to give her either weetabix or ready brek at bedtime instead to make sure she was getting some milk inside her, and to fill her up a bit. I'm afraid this lasted about 6 months but at least she slept!!

Good luck, I hope at least some of the advice you have received tonight works or makes you feel a little better.
#40
This has been happening from around 16 weeks,from birth she was imposible in the day and i carried her round all day long, i said enoughs enough and made her go to sleep in the day on her own(this was after reading on the internet, starting solids and asking in other forum) at around 16 weeks it worked and in the day got better but nights got worse. I guess it needs the same determination for nights as it did for daytime, i will try to sort it out. I just wanted to enjoy the time at the age she is at not rememeber it to be like it is now. Thank you for all your comments, i feel a lot better now

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