I just want year 2008 to go quickly :( - HotUKDeals
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I just want year 2008 to go quickly :(

seriouslylovely Avatar
7y, 11m agoPosted 7 years, 11 months ago
Just broke up with the man who I have been with for over 4 years a few weeks ago. I am alone in the country usually we went to his mum's for Christmas and New year, this time I am on my own for the first time.

I caught him having affair with 2 chinese young girls who are both in their early 20s earlier this year, he's 42 with 2 children in their earliy 20s, I am 33. Last year he stayed in china for 3 weeks and had Christmas and New year there he told me he was going to see some of his male friends who he met when he went there on holiday a few years ago, I believed what he said but later I found out it was actually a big lie. I was broken and soon I asked to separate he promised me he wouldn't do it again he cried on the floor asked me to give it one more go, since then I caught him still doing it with the girls a few times including romantic emails and chat history.

I spoke to the girls and one of them appologised as soon as she knew I was his girlfriend but the other one wouldn't go away and she even told me she was so sure that the ex must have loved her a lot and he offered her to come over to UK. I believed if he didn't keep in contact with her then she wouldn't have any chance to exsist between us. Now he told all his family and friends that we broke up because I wanted to marry him so badly and he only wants to have freedom, which is another big lie!

I know I should have just given up when I first found out what he was up to but I just felt hard to do it.

Now I am alone and feeling lonely. I only hope 2008 to go quickly I have had enough of it!
seriouslylovely Avatar
7y, 11m agoPosted 7 years, 11 months ago
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#1
heres to 2009!
better off on your own. I am sure you will find someone soon.

best wishes for 2009
#2
as you say - last day of your horrible year

goodbye to it and him - hes not worthy

look forward to 2009 - new life for you - get out meet new friends - learn new things

good luck hon and dont look back!!:thumbsup:
banned#3
Wow....unlucky


Hope your 2009 is better xx
#4
Oh Hun, Im so sorry to hear your trouble, it sound like you are way to good for him anyway. Here's to a new year and a new start and a better man xxx
#5
Stay strong.:friends: He's clearly not worth it. Wish you a HAPPY New Year:thumbsup:
#6
You are much better off without him - you obviously deserve much better. Hope 2009 brings everything you wish for. x
#7
what an awful disgusting man!!i know u must be absolutely crushed and heartbrokn hun but stay strong..... its gonna be difficult but looks like 2009 can only be better if it involves a life without that excuse of a man in ur life.

hugs :friends:
#8
try to keep perspective on it, why do you want to be with someone that doesn't want you ? if the chineese girls hadn't come between you, or had left, there would have been someone else.

Try not to get down about things you can't control, you can't make him love you or want you back so try to come to terms with this.

But, make sure you concentrate on doing things you can control, like having a good time, living life, not because you want to get back at him and show him your worth it, do it for you.

You'll be in a much better place if you try to do this, i'm not suggesting it will be easy but the bigger hole you dig th harder it is to get out of if that makes sense. (and once your out ofthe hole the situation is still there).

Don't make a big deal of being alone at new year, it is just a day, usually an expensive day (if you go out) where bars/restaraunts are packed with people who are out because "it's new year".

If your looking for some way of getting back into dating book yourself onto a speed dating night, it's no where near as seedy as you may think, I went with some friends to give them some moral support and they had a great night, you don't get judged, you merely mark your card with LIKE TO DATE, FRIEND, NOT INTERESTED, for each person you speak to (3 mins), then go home and log onto website.
Pop your details down of who you liked, disliked etc...etc... then if there are any matches you get an exchange of email addresses and you can make arrangements to meet for a drink or whatever. If it does nothing else it will get you out and talking to people and making friends, don't forget all the other people there are in the same boat so no one is better than you.

I hope this has helped even a little, I have not had a great year and will be glad to see the back of 2008 to be honest, but onwards and upwards, keep positive and positive things will come your way.

Good luck with your situation, I really hope things turn out right for you.
1 Like #9
if he can do it with two this time, how sure are you he hasnt and wont be unfaithful in the future? BIN HIM DUMP HIM, that's the best present you can give yourself.

btw not a good idea to say what race they are ... not on HUKD anyway, it kinda spirals out of control here ...
1 Like #10
Good on you for getting rid of him

I am single for the first time in years, and feel absolutly fantastic for it. 2009 is going to be a brilliant year :)

Happy New Year all
#11
kippy
btw not a good idea to say what race they are ... not on HUKD anyway, it kinda spirals out of control here ...


AAAAAAAAAArgh! Its political corrected gone mad again. They are Chinese. What's wrong with saying "they're Chinese".

Its attitudes like yours (and the deceitful husband's) that are ruining this country.

(dismounts, gives high-horse a sugar lump, exists stage left...) :-D
1 Like #12
Crikey - men are gits.

Hang on, I am one.
We're not all bad you know. Take a little time out then try to find a good one.
That last one sounds like a real loser.
#13
All the best for 2009 hun, look at it as a new start, out with the old and all that. He would of just made you more and more unhappy, i know it must seem awfull at the moment, but it will get better.

Better off without him. Stay strong
#14
Jeezeypeeps
AAAAAAAAAArgh! Its political corrected gone mad again. They are Chinese. What's wrong with saying "they're Chinese".

Its attitudes like yours (and the deceitful husband's) that are ruining this country.

(dismounts, gives high-horse a sugar lump, exists stage left...) :-D


u comparing me with the boy?? you have a warped sense of humour

oh yeah and sorry to spoil yr illusions of grandeur but this country was in ruins before these two girls came along ... :p
#15
Gawd, men can be absolute a**eholes! I've said this before and I'll say it again, it's my philosophy....

In life, you get treated how you allow yourself to be treated.

If you took that pig back now he would know he could treat you how ever he wanted to and you would be there waiting. well sorry but **** that., you can do and deserve better.

apparently, when one door shuts another always opens. You say you are alone in the country, are you not originally from here? Why don't you join some clubs in your area, maybe do some college courses, they are a great way to meet new people and make friends.

I hope 2009 brings you something better.
#16
Thank you all for being so spportive I do feel a lot better, I know he's not worthy and I am too good for him. I don't want him and don't want him to come back although he's still trying to be really nice and ringing me everyday to make sure I am alright I know he's feeling very guilty and hope I won't hate him so much in the future. He even told me he still wants to be a good friend with me, that disgusts me!!

I just need a bit of time to forget about all this at the moment it's still stuck in my head especially when I am back to the house. I know I will be OK again.

I have been living here for almost 10 years I was a student in the begining later I found a nice job and decided to settle here til now. It's more like home to me here now.

Thank you for the dating information, I will look at it and ask my girl friends to go together!

Happy New year to you all,

Lots of Love xxx
#17
It's no comfort to you but I think that they'll be a lot of people saying good ridance to 2008 today including me. Nasty divorce, serious debt and for the first time ever my kids aren't here as they are with himself and his mistress for the season of goodwill. I realy wanted to just sit in and cry on Christmas day but thankfully a friend came round and literally dragged me round to theirs. I ended up having qute a nice time.

If you are really alone and have no family or friends then try to force yourself to get out and about even if it's just for some window shopping. Nothing is more depressing than sitting in an empty house (trust me I've done enough of it during the past 12 mnths). Join a local club such as a walking club or something. Even if you're not into walking and the idea seems silly it's a way of meeting people and getting out. There's a great social group caled Spice UK which has thousands of members who meet up for social activities. It can get quite expensive however for some of the activities but I met some lovely normal people without a weirdo or saddo in sight. I also find that petty revenge can be uplifting. Why not make sure that his family find out the real reason that you split up and what a perv he is. May not be any real use to you but wouldn't it feel good to watch him squirm?

I hope things start to lok up for you sooner rather than later and maybe next Christmas and New Year you canlook back and think how great things are compared to last year. Good luck. :santa:
#18
I'm on my second yr of being on my own as my ex of 16 yrs went off wi a 20 yr old. I found out when we split the first time he cheated I was 7 mnths preggers with our second child. He was a drinker abusive and a very nasty person. Someone who doesn't respect you enough to give u the love and attention you deserve doesn't deserve you. It is far better being alone than a nervous wreck wondering where he is who he's with n whether jeckel or Hyde is coming home.

It takes time for you to come around to this way of thinking but you will believe me. A friend at work told me you deserve to be loved as you love in return. Believe me honey I know how you are feeling but I take great joy in the fact that the controlling waste of skin is out of my life unfortuately due to the kids not 100 percent but when they are older and see what a user he is they will feel the same.

Eventually you will move on to a better happier and well deserved life one without him in it. You will be thankful this has happened and you life is no longer wasted on a waste of space like him. 2009 is your year to get your house in order and show him what a rat he has been. I will think of you at midnight chin up chuck you won't be alone for ever. Life will get better believe me it just takes time just be patient x x x
banned#19
ChipSticks;3904959
Gawd, men can be absolute a**eholes! I've said this before and I'll say it again, it's my philosophy....



Could be said about women as well....


Its Humans in general...its our destructive nature
#20
You need to change your number, don't have any contact with him, I know its hard but it's really the only way to properly move on.

I was in this situation a few years ago when I split from a pig, it dragged on and on for months, I felt like total carp every day. then I decided, no more, I text him one last time to let him know his game was over, I was bored of it then I changed all my numbers and totally broke contact.

From that day forward I had the power and from that day I healed so quickly I almost scared myself lol.
#21
ODB_69
Could be said about women as well....


Its Humans in general...its our destructive nature


No, women can be total b*tches... lol

You're right, the human race is weird, so glad I'm an alien!

:-D
banned#22
ChipSticks;3905058
No, women can be total b*tches... lol

You're right, the human race is weird, so glad I'm an alien!

:-D


lol, me too...small universe :p
#23
you deserve better honey. there are some good men out there just hard to find. until one comes along just enjoy getting to know yourself and be strong. wish i could give you a hug:friends: btw the best way to get over him is to think of all the negative things about him (and lets face it there are a lot!) and realise how much better off you are without all those things. hope this helps x
#24
Perpita
I'm on my second yr of being on my own as my ex of 16 yrs went off wi a 20 yr old. I found out when we split the first time he cheated I was 7 mnths preggers with our second child. He was a drinker abusive and a very nasty person. Someone who doesn't respect you enough to give u the love and attention you deserve doesn't deserve you. It is far better being alone than a nervous wreck wondering where he is who he's with n whether jeckel or Hyde is coming home.

It takes time for you to come around to this way of thinking but you will believe me. A friend at work told me you deserve to be loved as you love in return. Believe me honey I know how you are feeling but I take great joy in the fact that the controlling waste of skin is out of my life unfortuately due to the kids not 100 percent but when they are older and see what a user he is they will feel the same.

Eventually you will move on to a better happier and well deserved life one without him in it. You will be thankful this has happened and you life is no longer wasted on a waste of space like him. 2009 is your year to get your house in order and show him what a rat he has been. I will think of you at midnight chin up chuck you won't be alone for ever. Life will get better believe me it just takes time just be patient x x x


I know exactly how you feel I just feel the same, I am sure 2009 will definately be a better year for us!!:friends:
love
xxx
#25
ChipSticks
You need to change your number, don't have any contact with him, I know its hard but it's really the only way to properly move on.

I was in this situation a few years ago when I split from a pig, it dragged on and on for months, I felt like total carp every day. then I decided, no more, I text him one last time to let him know his game was over, I was bored of it then I changed all my numbers and totally broke contact.

From that day forward I had the power and from that day I healed so quickly I almost scared myself lol.


I will change my bumber, thanks for the good advice. He told me he still wants to be a good friend I can't wait to get rid of him!!
love
xxx
#26
brangelina
you deserve better honey. there are some good men out there just hard to find. until one comes along just enjoy getting to know yourself and be strong. wish i could give you a hug:friends: btw the best way to get over him is to think of all the negative things about him (and lets face it there are a lot!) and realise how much better off you are without all those things. hope this helps x


THank you for being so supportive, I do feel comfort with all the messages that all of you left. I am starting to think all the bad things he's done, actually I can hardly remember what good things he's done, I wonder why I loved him and cared for him so much... I am glad I am out of it now
Thank you
love xxx
#27
your better off without him by far know that doesnt help you now but given time you will see that huge hugs x
#28
bargainhunter5
your better off without him by far know that doesnt help you now but given time you will see that huge hugs x


I am trying to do that, thank you for being so supportive!
Happy new year
Love xxx
#29
[CENTER]http://www.zwani.com/graphics/new_years/images/6new-year-cheers.gif[/CENTER]

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