i need to have a rant, and figure out if im being stupid - HotUKDeals
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i need to have a rant, and figure out if im being stupid

tatemze Avatar
6y, 5m agoPosted 6 years, 5 months ago
right, my mums boyfriend has invited my mum, brother, his GF, me and my BF round for a bbq for tea at about 7ish, short notice, i found out an hour ago, but as far as im concerned, not a big deal.
now i txt my BF asking if he wanted to come and he sed yes but
1) hes at work wth no stuff for stayin at mine (however I have a set of casual clothes of his and I can wash and dry his work stuff for the morn)
2) he has to get everywhere on his bike

wer also allowed to stop over if convenient, if not my brother will be driving back (hes got an early start 2moro so it wouldnt be late) so we can hop in with them to my house

now i gave him 3 options
1) come straight to mine from work, ill wash his work clothes, we'll go with mum or my bro to the bbq and get a lift back with my and he'll go back to work in the morn on his bike
2) go home, get changed, pack stuff for tomorrow, bike to the bbq, stop over there and bike it to work from there (its closer than both his house or mine)
3)go home, get changed etc, we'll pick him up on the way, come back to mine with my bro, and he can ride his other bike thats already at mine to work in the morn

so he rings me up asking what my plan is, i said going with mum to the bbq at 6:30ish, but he ses he needs to know what the rest of the plan is, and wev had a major argument bcoz he cant simply pick 1, 2 or 3, he needs to know where im sleeping, i said, wherever is best for you, whichever option is more convenient for him (i dont have any plans for tomorrow, so any option is absolutely fine)

am i being unreasonable asking him to pick n option? i dont see why he needs to know every1 elses plans when they have no effect on what is convenient for him. all my plan is go to the bbq with mum, either with him, or picking him up or meeting him there, any is fine.

i dont understand why its so hard!!! what on earth is the big deal, its not a life or death decision. hes so difficult at times

rant over, manyapologies
tatemze Avatar
6y, 5m agoPosted 6 years, 5 months ago
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banned#1
now pick a plan for him!

this is how silly arguments and bad feelings start, all over nothing, by him not picking he was from his side, wanting to hear your preference rather than what he wanted, perhaps he didnt want a bbq with the in-laws at all, so technically you already laid part of the plan

just pick already, he will agree and you will both be happy, perhaps spring for a bottle of wine to share to smooth over it before its a bigger deal
#2
Cool,he wants you to make all his decisions for him lol
#3
he doesn't like you
banned#4
ide just leave it as your invited, those are the options, see ya later
#5
Men meh !! :oops::whistling:
banned#6
am i being unreasonable asking him to pick n option? i dont see why he needs to know every1 elses plans when they have no effect on what is convenient for him. all my plan is go to the bbq with mum, either with him, or picking him up or meeting him there, any is fine.

You could give him another option as it's very short notice - Does he want to go ?

If it was me, I'd probably deline as it's too short notice.
#7
Alfonse
he doesn't like you


i dont like him at the moment

if i pick a plan he'll whinge about something, at least if he picks himself hes only got himself to blame, im just trying so he can do what he needs to, im not being unreasonable am i??
#9
tatemze
i dont like him at the moment

if i pick a plan he'll whinge about something, at least if he picks himself hes only got himself to blame, im just trying so he can do what he needs to, im not being unreasonable am i??


you go to the BBQ and find some sausage there
#10
aScottishBloke

You could give him another option as it's very short notice - Does he want to go ?


oh yes, he was originally coming round straight from work tomorrow, i was cooking at mine, he was staying over, and going home when hes ready on saturday on his bike
i just said your invited to a bbq, its up2 u, u can come tonight if u want, or we can stick with tomorrows plans (i only get one or the other, god forbid I ask to spend an extra night with him)
so he did have the option to come or not, he said he would rather do tonight than tomorrow becozz we can do tomorrows plans any week
banned#11
Why does everyone skip around the truth that its over between you both
#12
whatsThePoint
Why does everyone skip around the truth that its over between you both


:roll:

too late
#13
whatsThePoint
Why does everyone skip around the truth that its over between you both


thats not nice
i know thats not the case at all
hes just the biggest FANNY ever when it comes to planning everything, its always like this
#14
jellybaby22
too many options...is it just me or does this seem more complicated than it needs to be... go to the bbq..if he is there he is there..if not....fine....
not worth falling out over :thumbsup:


it is 2 complicated than it needs to be, but he doesnt know how to get there for 1, and i think he'd spontaneously combust if he wasnt given any plan at all
#15
BBQ with the inlaws after work.. my worst nightmare, I would be being awkward too. Give the man some peace.
#16
he doesnt want to go....take the hint
#17
jellybaby22;8907255
just a typical man then.... phone him and tell him what he is doing.... thats what I would do anyway...:-D

+1

I agree - just TELL him don't ASK him that way he knows what he is doing and - well, thats that dude!

Make the decisions for him, as its easier for blokes to - well whinge - but go along with it anyway..... xxxxxxxxxx
banned#18
I think i feel sorry for the bloke now, not only is he in the middle of an argument not his fault, he has to eat with the out-laws
#19
stewby;8907263
BBQ with the inlaws after work.. my worst nightmare, I would be being awkward too. Give the man some peace.

ROFL!!!

Not all In-Laws are OUTLAWS!!

:whistling:

xxxxxxx
#20
have you told him you are discussing it with strangers on the neticus?
#21
casparwhite
have you told him you are discussing it with strangers on the neticus?


aaaahh yes the neticus spoonus
#22
casparwhite
have you told him you are discussing it with strangers on the neticus?


no, i mite when i decide to speak with him

jubbyme
I think i feel sorry for the bloke now, not only is he in the middle of an argument not his fault, he has to eat with the out-laws


my mums ace, very laid back, not a witch like some, and he did have the option to come tomorrow when shes not in
and anyway, i had to go to his mums on sunday where i was nominated to cook for every1, the most hes had to do at mine is put kettle on!

Alfonse
aaaahh yes the neticus spoonus


this is why i love hukd, silly comments that make me chuckle
and abit of controversy, u gotta love it :w00t:
banned#23
buy a bottle of wine for the weekend, just the two of you, smooth it over and all will be forgotten

you probably just caught him on the hop, he was at work and you just sprang it, just one of those things
#24
Just a regular man - needs to be told what he's doing (like he has been since he was small) Can't get through life otherwise :thumbsup: Tell him what you're doing and then see how decisive he is.
#25
Alfonse;8907304
aaaahh yes the neticus spoonus

Love this. Seems appropriate for the person who wanted a tattoo in latin that was a bit different the other day. :w00t:
jubbyme;8907274
I think i feel sorry for the bloke now, not only is he in the middle of an argument not his fault, he has to eat with the out-laws


You have told him about it. If you are not breaking any of his previously laid plans there shouldnt be a problem. If you want to go to the barbie then go. If he wants to go, he will find a way.
It does appear that he is not too enthusiastic though. Maybe he just wants to be alone.
#26
Bless, I think in your attempt at letting him decide you have completely confused him!
IF you give them options always limit it to just two, anymore and their head may spin
#27
WoolyM
Love this. Seems appropriate for the person who wanted a tattoo in latin that was a bit different the other day. :w00t:


what, what?
#28
..this all make me feel arghhhh! Too many times ive had similar probs.. I end up getting annoyed with myself too! lol. Just go to the bbq and have fun, if he wants to join you he will... and hopefully fun will be had. If he doesnt go, ure still seeing him tomoro right? or did i make that up somewhere..

anyway.. mm bbq!
#29
MissRoo
..this all make me feel arghhhh! Too many times ive had similar probs.. I end up getting annoyed with myself too! lol. Just go to the bbq and have fun, if he wants to join you he will... and hopefully fun will be had. If he doesnt go, ure still seeing him tomoro right? or did i make that up somewhere..

anyway.. mm bbq!


i just thought itd be nice to know what im doing aswel, and if he is coming he'll need directions its in the middle of nowhere, he doesnt have to come, he said he wanted to

im looking 4ward to bbq, i hope theres burgers, but knowing my mums random BF there wont be, but ill take a cuple of cheese slices just incase, cant have bbq burgers without 'possessed' cheese slices
#30
tatemze
i just thought itd be nice to know what im doing aswel, and if he is coming he'll need directions its in the middle of nowhere, he doesnt have to come, he said he wanted to

im looking 4ward to bbq, i hope theres burgers, but knowing my mums random BF there wont be, but ill take a cuple of cheese slices just incase, cant have bbq burgers without 'possessed' cheese slices


well..yes, in theory it would be.. however its NEVER that easy :p
If he said he was coming though I would hold him to that, its nice doing stuff like that together I always thought.. but then I am a right softy :oops: .. just text him some directions just in case.

We had a bbq the other day, was lovely... n its not just the cheese..u need plenty of baps too.. (or rolls for anyone thinking im talking nonsense)
#31
I think there should be option 4:Which is stay at home and watch the footie on his own. Its likey he doesnt want to go but thats not an option thats why he cant choose.
#32
Alfonse;8907624
what, what?

someone was asking for suggestions the other day for a latin phrase that they could use for a tattoo. Loved your phrase. Like something from the Frankie Howerd school of latin :w00t:

Dont know about a barbie right now. I wish we could have a really good downpour to clear the air.
#33
WoolyM
someone was asking for suggestions the other day for a latin phrase that they could use for a tattoo. Loved your phrase. Live something from the Frankie Howerd school of latin :w00t:

Dont know about a barbie right now. I wish we could have a really good downpour to clear the air.


..it looks like its going to here, been grey skys all day, and with the wind...not as warm
#34
It's a bbq with the in-laws, he probably doesnt really want to go, he should man up and say so.
#35
pinkleponkle
It's a bbq with the in-laws, he probably doesnt really want to go, he should man up and say so.


id actually be happier if a guy said that.. rather than creep around the subject. However they never just say what they think.. :?
#36
You offered to do his washing for him.......
Dont do it, you'll be doing it for ever more....lol
#37
That's what me and the wife do, any plans come up we tell the other and if it sounds grotty we tell the other "no thanks, have fun". In-Law get togethers are never the most fun places to go in the world.
#38
You have foned him out of nowhere with plans 1 2 & 3 telling him to choose. You have scared him away. He now probably thinks your a bunny boiler.
banned#39
he is boffing your sister. or mother. or someone else.

strong irrationality here
#40
munkynutz
You have foned him out of nowhere with plans 1 2 & 3 telling him to choose. You have scared him away. He now probably thinks your a bunny boiler.


haha, wev been together for a while now, if i was a bunny boiler he'dv found out long ago

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