I Will Survive the morning after ............... !!
The Drinking Song (to be sung to the tune of "I Will Survive")
At first I was afraid I was petrified,
By the ugly person that was lying by my side,
I would've drunk a little less,
I would've tried to keep my head,
If I'd known for just one second you'd assault me in your bed...
I tried to go,
walk out the door,
But you've been sitting on my legs and I can't feel them anymore,
And now you're sitting on my face, my nose has vanished - not a trace
I only hope that you're big knickers aren't made of liquorice lace...
I want to go,
I've got to leave,
Before your crinkly wrinkly body makes me bend over and heave,
I only hope that no one saw me walking home with such a butt,
Your horrid hairy nostrils they look like a septic cut,
I can't believe,
I'm lying here,
It's all cos of that blasted evil drink that we call beer,
You can keep your old beer goggles,
somehow I must have been blind
To mistake that hoover dam for a sexy young behind...
Please let me go,
I'm getting scared,
There's nothing I can do to stop those boomers from being bared,
I think that I must have been mad,
God, what made me want to alter
With thighs that look like Tesco bags I've just filled up with water,
It's time to go,
run out the door,
Now started hinting they want sex on their dirty lino floor,
I don't think there's anything worse then the al-co-hol-lics curse,
But this time that's it, I quit,
I can't take more of this s*** !!!