In keeping with the rugby theme !!!!! - HotUKDeals
We use cookie files to improve site functionality and personalisation. By continuing to use HUKD, you accept our cookie and privacy policy.
Get the HUKD app free at Google Play

Search Error

An error occurred when searching, please try again!

Login / Sign UpSubmit

In keeping with the rugby theme !!!!!

taasda Avatar
8y, 8m agoPosted 8 years, 8 months ago
and I am sure if Wales had lost, there would have been jokes aimed at them.

Gavin Henson, James Hook and Shane Williams are standing before God at the throne of Heaven. God looks at them and says, "Before granting you a place at my side, I must first ask you what you believe in." Addressing Henson first he asks, "What do you believe?" Henson looks God in the eye and states passionately, "I believe Rugby to be the food of life. Nothing else brings such unbridled joy to so many people from the grim streets of Rhyl to the bright lights of Barry Island. I have devoted my life to bring such joy to people who stood on the terraces supporting their club." God looks up and offers Henson the seat to his left. He then turns to Hooky, "and you, James, what do you believe?" Hooky stands tall and proud, "I believe courage, honour and passion are the fundamentals to life and I've spent my whole playing career providing a living embodiment of these traits." God, moved by the passion of the speech offers Hooky the seat to his right. Finally, he turns to Shane Williams, "and you, Shane, what do you believe?" "I believe..............." says Shane ".....you're sitting in my seat butt."



Four surgeons are taking a coffee break. The first one says, "Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up everything inside them is numbered." The second surgeon says, "Nah, librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order." Third surgeon says, "Try electricians. Everything inside them is colour-coded." The fourth one says, "I prefer English rugby players. They're heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and arses are interchangeable."


Did you hear about the politician who was found dead in an English rugby jersey? The police had to dress him up in women's underwear in order to save his family from the embarrassment.



Q. How do you get four English rugby players on a bar stool?

A. Turn it upside down.



Ewan Price was watching a rugby test against the British Lions at Loftus Versfeld stadium in Pretoria. In the packed stadium, there was only one empty seat - next to Ewan Price.

"Who does that seat belong to?" asked his neighbour.

"It's for my wife."

"But why isn't she here?"

"She died."

"So why didn't you give the ticket to one of your friends?"

"They've all gone to her funeral butt."



Three rugby players are sitting in the maternity ward of a hospital waiting for the imminent birth of their respective children. One is a Welshman, one English and the other a West Indian.

They are all very nervous and pacing the floor - as you do in these situations. All of a sudden the doctor bursts through the double doors saying, "Gentlemen you won't believe this but your wives have all had their babies within 5 minutes of each other." The men are beside themselves with happiness and joy. "And", said the doctor, "They have all had little boys." The fathers are ecstatic and congratulate each other over and over. "However we do have one slight problem," the doctor said.

"In all the confusion we may have mixed the babies up getting them to the nursery and would be grateful if you could join us there to try and help identify them."

With that the Welshman raced past the doctor and bolted to the nursery. Once inside he picked up a black infant with dreadlocks saying, "There's no doubt about it, this boy is mine!" The doctor looked bewildered and said, "Well sir of all the babies I would have thought that maybe this child could be of West Indian descent."

"Maybe", said the Welshman, "but one of the other two is English and I'm not taking the risk."



Did you hear about the English rugby player who was found dead outside a Pizza Hut covered in cheese, tomatoes, mushrooms, peppers and pepperoni? Police reckon he topped himself.



A bloke from Cardiff is having a quiet drink in a Bar near Twickenham. He leans over to the big guy next to him and says, "Do you wanna hear an English Rugby joke butt?". The big guy replies, "Well mate, before you tell that joke you should know something: I'm six feet tall, 105kgs and I'm an English forward. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 115kgs and he's an ex-English forward. Next to him is a bloke who's 6'5" weighs 120kgs and he's a current English second-rower. Now, do you still want to tell that English joke?".

The Welshman says, "Nah..... not if I'm going to have to explain it three times butty".
Tags:
taasda Avatar
8y, 8m agoPosted 8 years, 8 months ago
Options

All Comments

(4) Jump to unreadPost a comment
Comments/page:
#1
oldies but goodies:-D
#2
He he he :-D
#3
Only just found this thread. Very good:thumbsup::-D
#4
hehe ^5

Post a Comment

You don't need an account to leave a comment. Just enter your email address. We'll keep it private.

...OR log in with your social account

...OR comment using your social account

Thanks for your comment! Keep it up!
We just need to have a quick look and it will be live soon.
The community is happy to hear your opinion! Keep contributing!