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Is anyone else scared of dying?

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grex9101 Avatar
8y, 7m agoPosted 8 years, 7 months ago
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grex9101 Avatar
8y, 7m agoPosted 8 years, 7 months ago
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1 Like #1
Ok, I'll 'fess up. I was in an event the other week (I won't go into it here) where my partner and myself very nearly died. It was so close that had the event happened a second or two later, events would have been such that I wouldn't be posting this now.
Ever since then, I keep wondering "what if?".
I don't want to die, but then nobody really does I guess. My main problem is that now I'm actually scared of dying. Everytime I'm on a train or a bus, every little bump focuses my mind on what could actually happen.
I know it'll happen one day, but I really REALLY don't want it to.
Anyone else?
#2
Not really. More regret than fear tbh.
#3
No, doesn't worry me at all, when its my turn to die, I will die happy, not scared
#4
I don't so much have fear of dying but I always wonder how I would cope if others close to me did. It just doesn't bear thinking about really does it?
#5
sorry to be such a downer, but (trolls aside), there's generally some good people on here with advice.

guess i just need perspective.
1 Like #6
well its inevitable, the way you have to look at it is you can spend alot of time worrying over it or really enjoy what you have of it!!

ive watched to many people i love fade away, i intend to enjoy every second i have!!
1 Like #7
Sounds like you didn't have too good a time there :-(

I'd take is as a reminder to value what you have now and make the most out of life. How you make the most of it is up to you, but don't constantly worry about the what if's otherwise you'll be wasting a lot of your life just worrying :thumbsup:
1 Like #8
I can't imagine wot u r thinking, I'd hate to be in that situation where my life flashed before me however I would like to think I'd be able to then say to myself to just go out there and live life the way it should be.I m sure u r thankful u ve been given the chance to live and just be happy. Hope u feel better bout things soon
#9
thanks, i guess it's not the dying itself, more not knowing if there's anything else...afterwards.
#10
I am very concerned about the people (& my dog!) I love dying, but have no concerns about dying myself.
#11
U CAN LIVE YOUR LIFE WONDERING WHAT IF...

Or live it to your full potential.
1 Like #12
i am terrified of dying too,
i worry about my children as they would probably be split up 2 eldest with their own dad
then 3 youngest with my partner
i worry more about anything bad happening to my children and them dying this has got worse since my friends 4 year old died
i worry that if i died how my children would cope etc.
tbh though i worry about anything and everything to the point of making myself ill

hope u are feeling less anxious soon
#13
The last time I was scared of dying was when I was completely wiped out on acid.
#14
Not really.
Say example you're in a plane and the engines fail and you're at 20,000ft and 1000 miles from land and the engines won't restart, worrying won't get you anywhere, you'd just hope they'd be able to ditch successfully.

"When your times up, your times up." No point looking around the corners at whats coming.
banned#15
Dont have any fears...just that I'd hope it not to be painful and long lasting.
#16
i wake up every day afraid im going to die, im really paranoid about it. I try to think what will happen when i die. Will i just stop it scares the poo out of me. Glad you're ok
#17
t0mm
Not really.
Say example you're in a plane and the engines fail and you're at 20,000ft and 1000 miles from land and the engines won't restart, worrying won't get you anywhere, you'd just hope they'd be able to ditch successfully.

"When your times up, your times up." No point looking around the corners at whats coming.


Let's face it, if your planes' in trouble, chances are you ain't walkin' away.
Look what happened yesterday.
#18
grex9101
Let's face it, if your planes' in trouble, chances are you ain't walkin' away.
Look what happened yesterday.



let's just assume he's speaking hypothetically... or hypoothetically. Snarf snarf.
#19
grex9101
Let's face it, if your planes' in trouble, chances are you ain't walkin' away.
Look what happened yesterday.


cant remember the exact figures but something like in 95% of all plane crashes there are survivors!!! :thumbsup:
banned#20
You need to learn to relax, we all have difficult and scary situation's in life.

Time is a great healer.

Good luck with it and if it doesn't improve, i recommend getting some chill pill's from the doctor and/or counselling.
#21
DLM
You need to learn to relax, we all have difficult and scary situation's in life.

Time is a great healer.

Good luck with it and if it doesn't improve, i recommend getting some chill pill's from the doctor and/or counselling.


I daresay it'll pass with time, never been too worried about it before, but then, like most people I didn't really think about it.

Don't wanna go down the road of pills & all the comments I'm getting here is couselling at its best!!!
#22
If i had the chance i would live forever.
banned#23
grex9101
I daresay it'll pass with time, never been too worried about it before, but then, like most people I didn't really think about it.

Don't wanna go down the road of pills & all the comments I'm getting here is couselling at its best!!!


I know, it isn't the only answer, i took pill's last year for 6 month's, they just helped my nerve's.

I lost a close friend and my grandad and had a lot to deal with caring for my grandma etc..

They just relaxed me and i had counselling too, which helped me open up, easier to do with a stranger.

I didn't join HUKD until March 2008 and it has helped at time's offloading my worrie's, feeling's etc...

People on here don't alway's understand and most of them, i would not have has friend's if they lived near me.

Just keep busy, go swimming, the gym etc...
#24
DLM
I know, it isn't the only answer, i took pill's last year for 6 month's, they just helped my nerve's.

I lost a close friend and my grandad and had a lot to deal with caring for my grandma etc..

They just relaxed me and i had counselling too, which helped me open up, easier to do with a stranger.

I didn't join HUKD until March 2008 and it has helped at time's offloading my worrie's, feeling's etc...

People on here don't alway's understand and most of them, i would not have has friend's if they lived near me.

Just keep busy, go swimming, the gym etc...


Sorry to hear about your bad times :friends:

There's a lot of good folks on here, have had a few PMs over the moths that have made me realise how good a community this place can be. Yeah some people (myself included) can say stupid things and be narky at times, but in general most people are essentially good.
banned 1 Like #25
grex9101
Sorry to hear about your bad times :friends:

There's a lot of good folks on here, have had a few PMs over the moths that have made me realise how good a community this place can be. Yeah some people (myself included) can say stupid things and be narky at times, but in general most people are essentially good.


The Person I Long To Be

By Victoria A. Mogyorosi

The day light breaks again
Another day has begun.

But still no sleep has come.
My body is weary

My mind overworked.
I lie awake thinking

But what I am unsure.
I need to break free from the cycle I endure.

Everyday is the same and the nights are undistinguished.
I feel as though I am being pushed along with the tide

Unable to break free from the everyday flow.
This is not me I need to change, before time takes over

And I am unable to change.
I need to be freed from the grasp of ordinary

And become that person I have always longed for.
Express myself in every way, and conquer the dreams as I lie awake.

Then I may fall asleep and put my mind to rest.
Make changes in my life and help those in need.

I would like to touch everyone's life in a positive way
And leave my mark on society before I fade away.
#26
DLM
The Person I Long To Be

By Victoria A. Mogyorosi

The day light breaks again
Another day has begun.

But still no sleep has come.
My body is weary

My mind overworked.
I lie awake thinking

But what I am unsure.
I need to break free from the cycle I endure.

Everyday is the same and the nights are undistinguished.
I feel as though I am being pushed along with the tide

Unable to break free from the everyday flow.
This is not me I need to change, before time takes over

And I am unable to change.
I need to be freed from the grasp of ordinary

And become that person I have always longed for.
Express myself in every way, and conquer the dreams as I lie awake.

Then I may fall asleep and put my mind to rest.
Make changes in my life and help those in need.

I would like to touch everyone's life in a positive way
And leave my mark on society before I fade away.


Very inspirational, thanks for that :)
#27
Good thread! I don't relish the process of dying, especially if it's lingering and painful, but I don't fear death itself. Death is the easy bit as it's simply the end. How can you fear 'nothingness'? But having said that, every time I fly I fear death, but my fear is about leaving behind my kids and what my death will do to their living. So it's actually about life and regret, not about death. If that makes sense.
#28
Liddle ol' me
Good thread! I don't relish the process of dying, especially if it's lingering and painful, but I don't fear death itself. Death is the easy bit as it's simply the end. How can you fear 'nothingness'? But having said that, every time I fly I fear death, but my fear is about leaving behind my kids and what my death will do to their living. So it's actually about life and regret, not about death. If that makes sense.


Totally makes sense.
Sounds strange, but what really freaks me out is taking my last breath. You know, if i'm fully conscious and in control of my mental faculties. Actually being aware that that's it - no more breaths, and then the time, waiting for it to all go black. That's when they say your life flashes in front of you, but then, how do "they" know?

Sorry for rambling.
1 Like #29
grex9101
Totally makes sense.
Sounds strange, but what really freaks me out is taking my last breath. You know, if i'm fully conscious and in control of my mental faculties. Actually being aware that that's it - no more breaths, and then the time, waiting for it to all go black. That's when they say your life flashes in front of you, but then, how do "they" know?

Sorry for rambling.


Not rambling at all. And there are sound physiological reasons why our lives "flash before our eyes". In moments of extreme danger our very complex brain works at maximum ability/speed to help us find a 'solution' to the danger. It releases a huge flow of information in the form of previous experiences (hence the 'flashing b4 our eyes) in an attempt to find an answer to the problem from among all this 'knowledge', a way out of the danger. People who go to death 'peacefully' don't experience this because they accept death.
#30
Liddle ol' me
Not rambling at all. And there are sound physiological reasons why our lives "flash before our eyes". In moments of extreme danger our very complex brain works at maximum ability/speed to help us find a 'solution' to the danger. It releases a huge flow of information in the form of previous experiences (hence the 'flashing b4 our eyes) in an attempt to find an answer to the problem from among all this 'knowledge', a way out of the danger. People who go to death 'peacefully' don't experience this because they accept death.


crikey, that is deep. and to be honest i'm not sure if i feel reassured by that or not.
#31
grex9101
crikey, that is deep. and to be honest i'm not sure if i feel reassured by that or not.


hehe - not really very deep, just a few facts about how we as people actually work. But it's understandable that you don't feel reassured by these new ways of thinking. That's another natural human response - we don't feel easy while we are learning new things or learning to think in new ways. But if it is any reassurance, I think that once you can begin to think about human life objectively (outside of 'yourself'), in the same way you might think about any other animal - while watching a David Attenborough documentary for example - then it becomes much easier to think about death as simply part of a natural life process. Stories we tell ourselves about god and afterlife and all that kind of stuff just muddy the waters and help us avoid learning the facts of life (no pun intended!). These narratives are just escapist and are built upon ignorance rather than real knowledge about life and death.
#32
Liddle ol' me
hehe - not really very deep, just a few facts about how we as people actually work. But it's understandable that you don't feel reassured by these new ways of thinking. That's another natural human response - we don't feel easy while we are learning new things or learning to think in new ways. But if it is any reassurance, I think that once you can begin to think about human life objectively (outside of 'yourself'), in the same way you might think about any other animal - while watching a David Attenborough documentary for example - then it becomes much easier to think about death as simply part of a natural life process. Stories we tell ourselves about god and afterlife and all that kind of stuff just muddies the water and helps us avoid learning the facts of life (no pun intended!). These narratives are just escapist and are built upon ignorance rather than real knowledge about life and death.


yeah, i totally realise that these stories are all just a coping mechanism for people to reassure themselves with.
i guess my main fear really isn't the worry about "what happens next" but the actual process itself. it's gonna take me a long time to get round this i think.
#33
grex9101
yeah, i totally realise that these stories are all just a coping mechanism for people to reassure themselves with.
i guess my main fear really isn't the worry about "what happens next" but the actual process itself. it's gonna take me a long time to get round this i think.


Ok good, sorry for the over-elaboration above then. But how about this then? If you don't fear death itslef, then perhaps we can think about it as something to look forward to. Perhaps the downward decline is a way of preparing us for death, so that if we manage to live a long life, by the end we are happy to go. But I think whether we die young or old, we will ultimately die happy if we can come to some kind of decent form of living (even if our earlier lives were not). The most important thing is to try and build your knowledge, understanding and compassion for yourself and others. If we can do that, we can 'suffer' death more easily I think. Hah! I have to laugh at myslef here - the atheist is beginning to sound like a preacher!! :p

Anyway, I gotta sleep. Nice chatting to you, but I better look after my life and rest my mind and body now! I think I'll sleep better than last night with this as the last thread of the day. Reflection is so much better than aggression. Sleep well yourself, and thanks for the thread :thumbsup:
#34
Liddle ol' me
Ok good, sorry for the over-elaboration above then. But how about this then? If you don't fear death itslef, then perhaps we can think about it as something to look forward to. Perhaps the downward decline is a way of preparing us for death, so that if we manage to live a long life, by the end we are happy to go. But I think whether we die young or old, we will ultimately die happy if we can come to some kind of decent form of living (even if our earlier lives were not). The most important thing is to try and build your knowledge, understanding and compassion for yourself and others. If we can do that, we can 'suffer' death more easily I think. Hah! I have to laugh at myslef here - the atheist is beginning to sound like a preacher!! :p

Anyway, I gotta sleep. Nice chatting to you, but I better look after my life and rest my mind and body now! I think I'll sleep better than last night with this as the last thread of the day. Reflection is so much better than aggression. Sleep well yourself, and thanks for the thread :thumbsup:


thanks. really appreciate you taking the time to share your thoughts.
i totally understand where you're coming from and i guess it's of some comfort, if, as you say, death is a release, particularly after a long period of life.
good way to think of things, thanks :)
1 Like #35
I have no problem admitting I am scared of dying, the idea terrifies me at times...my solution is to try not to think about it. I struggle to deal with death as a concept in general although I try to think positively, I think this quote from Star Trek Generations is quite touching and the way I always try to think:

Someone once told me that time was a predator that stalked us all our lives. I rather believe that time is a companion who goes with us on the journey and reminds us to cherish every moment, because it will never come again. What we leave behind is not as important as how we've lived

John
#36
Johnmcl7
I have no problem admitting I am scared of dying, the idea terrifies me at times...my solution is to try not to think about it. I struggle to deal with death as a concept in general although I try to think positively, I think this quote from Star Trek Generations is quite touching and the way I always try to think:



John


very fitting, thanks :thumbsup:
#37
I'd never really thought about dying and how it would bother me until my mum died quite suddenly from a heart attack 5 years ago (age 66). I thought at first this would freak me out but in a strange way it kind of had the opposite effect as now I just think you should live everyday as you want as you never know when you're going to go, and make sure you do everything you want to. This doesn't play too well on the bank balance but what's the point in saving loads if you're going to die tomorrow?

I'm also firm believer that we all have a day and time written down somewhere (up there) and this is "our day" to go, we have far too many near misses that you wonder how you got out of and why do some people survive when some don't? I've always wondered if I'd like to know when this day is and I'm torn, is it best to know so you can make sure you do everything you want to and say goodbye to people and prepare them, or not know and just go like my mum did.

No right or wrong way about it, basically we'll all be going someday so make the most of it while you're here.
#38
Perhaps this is a wake up call? I know that I've numbed my conscience and become dead to everything that would jolt me out of my self love cacoon of living the way I want. Platitudes are fine and have temporary comfort, but perhaps you are at a cross roads where your conscience is warning you.

Take the good person test and see if that clarifys things for you. I'm not saying you'll 'feel' a lot better but you'll have all the information you'll need to decide for yourself if your conscience is doing its job.
http://www.needgod.com/

The below was taken from today's Blog for Mars Hill Church
Life Out of Death — Changed by Jesus #8
By Andrew Pack

Oscar Torres took two gasps of air, rocked to his knees, and with his last breath praised Jesus and went to sleep. He was thirty-two and newly married when he died.

It is common for a man to use his dying days to be a light to others, yet last Thanksgiving, in the grip of terminal illness, Oscar told his brother Cesar, “I would rather be sick and with Jesus than healthy and without him.”

These words haunted Cesar, a man living in his flesh, just as he pleased. What kind of God would allow a young, faithful man to be inflicted with full-blown lung cancer? But Jesus showed his mighty power to Cesar through Oscar’s weakness; it would be Oscar’s faithful words in suffering that Jesus would use to call Cesar from death to life.

Cesar had grown up Catholic and never given much thought to Jesus. Jesus was the figure on the cross that accompanied ritual and ceremony. Jesus was “not personalized,” as Cesar says. With Oscar’s death imminent, however, Cesar’s heart was stirred. He came to Mars Hill, compelled to find a church where he could learn about the gospel and about the Jesus that Oscar knew. At the Mars Hill Men’s Training Day last winter, Cesar responded to the altar call and gave his life to Jesus.

The weekend before Oscar went home to be with Jesus, he instructed Cesar in how to address their family with regard to the cancer. “I don’t have room for doubt,” Oscar said. “I need you to speak life.”

Cesar did just that when he eulogized his brother in Spanish to three hundred non-Christian relatives. He told the story of how, as children, he had saved Oscar’s life—but in his brother’s death and testimony, Jesus used Oscar to save Cesar’s soul. Cesar didn’t want to waste his brother’s death. When you love Christ, Cesar said, “you want that for everyone else.”

Oscar was a drink offering poured out to save Cesar from himself—from partying and immorality, from death to life. In memory of his brother, Cesar cites Romans 5:3, we rejoice in our sufferings. “I witnessed my brother live this verse,” he says. “Now I have that hope.”

When I interviewed Cesar for this story, he praised Jesus for giving him just one day to become a Christian. This past Easter, it was our pleasure to baptize Cesar at Mars Hill Lake City. His account of who he was apart from Christ was simple and straightforward, “I was a wretch,” he said, followed by “it’s all about Jesus.”
#39
I'm not scared of dying yet, because I don't think that it will happen to me anytime soon. I certainly don't want to die now.
I hope that you don't mind me saying this but , if you weren't frightened of dying before, could you be suffering from post traumatic stress after your recent close thing? If so, I think that you may benefit from some sort of counselling.
1 Like #40
I dont think you should get hung up on dying. You will do it one day. Times up. End of!

I believe if you thought about it it is not really the death you fear - but possibly more the uncertainty of 'what next'. I am also more concerned about the people left behind.

I hope to live life to the full and enjoy the time I have

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