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Is It Possible To be In Love With Two People At The Same Time?

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..or would you just be deluding yourself? discuss.......... :o)
bitseylango Avatar
7y, 5m agoPosted 7 years, 5 months ago
..or would you just be deluding yourself?

discuss.......... :o)
bitseylango Avatar
7y, 5m agoPosted 7 years, 5 months ago
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#1
only two?
#2
jasonrat
only two?


for the time being :-D
banned#3
cracking excuse but very rarely works
#4
depends i know someone who was involved with two women could not choose between the two and just kept being with both, till it all blew up in his face and they both left him :lol:

i think you may think your in love with 2 people but you aint, lust is sometimes wrongly interpretated(sp) as love
#5
haha ye I have but well... it didnt work out great for too long! :D
#6
i fall in love every couple of minutes :w00t:
#7
nikkib123
One is probably love and the other lust!


i think your right.
#8
Lust........i think your right :)
#9
people always say love is such a strong feeling, but i think lust plays a bigger part for some
suspended#10
ilovepink
people always say love is such a strong feeling, but i think lust plays a bigger part for some


yep i agree.... i think both can feel the same at the beginning but lust seems to be more intense and is only short lived
#11
nikkib123
Lust makes you think you are in love but its normally just about the sex :)


& i should imagine once that lust has gone thats when you come to realise what a big mistake you have made.
#12
it could be a case of getting love and lust confused. Also love and lust can be pretty intoxicating and addictive, so you could possibly get into a state of wanting to find either and mistaken any sign of attention or affection for either.

That said why can't you love more than one person. The concept of loving only one person and getting married to only one is an idea inflicted on us by religion. I think its a possible concept, but would lead to much conflict.
#13
Im loving the answers so far.......
#14
You can be in love with people for different reasons, despite its frowned upon in modern society due to as i explained earlier religions ideals forced upon us. I really do think yes you can be but making it work would be so hard.
#15
Haven't I told you before Bitsey...it would never workout between us? :lol:
#16
realfriendlyman
Haven't I told you before Bitsey...it would never workout between us? :lol:


:cry: you're breaking my heart :p
#17
...................... think it would work out only if the other two people involved were happy with the situation!!
#18
snowtiger
...................... think it would work out only if the other two people involved were happy with the situation!!


.......and if one didnt know about the other?
#19
bitseylango
:cry: you're breaking my heart :p


I'm sorry but you should of known. :p

I find that people start falling in love with someone else because they're not happy with the way things are in there current relationship, so sometimes it becomes an escapism of the daily boredom and other things can seem exciting.

Sometimes you start falling out of love with your partner after realising that the OH has been taking you for granted but they refuse to change there ways...if someone is not willing to make minor changes to make the other person happy, then they're probably not in love with the person or just not being considerate enough. :thumbsup:

I think that's when the other person starts looking elsewhere. :)
#20
i dont think you can equally love 2 people at the same time maybe 60/40 70/30
#21
No such thing as love......it's all about a chemical imbalance :roll:
#22
bitseylango;6333322
.......and if one didnt know about the other?

If you're interested in the psychology of this then this book is brill!!
http://www.find-book.co.uk/0330313320.htm

We live in a society where monogamy is seen as the ideal. Yet the vast majority of relationships today will at some time involve a third person. The three people concerned will move through that particular combination of desire, euphoria and despair that is the eternal triangle. This book tells the stories of more that twenty such triangles, through the words of the men and women involved. Susan Quilliam, an experienced psychologist, examines the way these people feel and react. Her aim: to understand why and how the eternal triangle happens. What she learns leads to a startling conclusion: that the eternal triangle is in fact a collaborative affair. Contrary to age-old belief, the triangle does not consist of two guilty lovers and their victim; all three people involved, whether they are aware of it or not, create what happens in the triangle, and any one of them can, if they so choose, take control of the triangle and affect its outcome. The Eternal Triangle is not an easy book. The stories it contains will hit home; its conclusions may not be comfortable. But one thing is certain; this book will change the way we understand and experience relationships in today's world.
#23
nikkib123
What are your thoughts Bitsey?????????


I agree with the majority here....its lust not love, and that doesnt last forever, I guess the thrill of being found attractive by someone else is a huge ego boost.....but again......doesnt last forever.

By the way......Im not talking about me! just to clarify! :-D
banned#24
Of course it is.

People romanticise the concept of love. People who think they're with 'the one' are deluding themselves.
#25
FilthAndFurry
Of course it is.

People romanticise the concept of love. People who think they're with 'the one' are deluding themselves.


so.....do you think its ok to be in a ""happy" marriage, with a partner you love, yet still want to be with someone else that you also love? Can the two be kept seperate?
banned#26
bitseylango
so.....do you think its ok to be in a ""happy" marriage, with a partner you love, yet still want to be with someone else that you also love? Can the two be kept seperate?


It depends on the people involved.

A lot of people convince themselves that they're happy in a relationship because they are fearful of being alone.

It's also inconceivable to think that there is just one partner we're compatible with and you won't find someone your more compatible with.
#27
I was actually thinking about this, this very morning, when I happened to flick through the channels to see an affair on Corry.

I honestly believe a lot of people cheat because it comes across as exciting on these soaps and the thrill of something different is an escapism from mundane lives. :)

The soaps are to blame. :lol:
#28
bitseylango
so.....do you think its ok to be in a ""happy" marriage, with a partner you love, yet still want to be with someone else that you also love? Can the two be kept seperate?


I don't like the idea of that, as it creates paranoia thinking that your partner may be interested in someone else and eventually giving into temptation.

I find the relationships that last are ones where you think about the other person all the time and they're your best friend and someone you can approach to talk about literally anything. :)
banned#29
realfriendlyman
I don't like the idea of that, as it creates paranoia thinking that your partner may be interested in someone else and eventually giving into temptation.


Chances are, they are. People can't just turn off their natural attraction to someone because they get married or have kids.
#30
realfriendlyman
I don't like the idea of that, as it creates paranoia thinking that your partner may be interested in someone else and eventually giving into temptation.

I find the relationships that last are ones where you think about the other person all the time and they're your best friend and someone you can approach to talk about literally anything. :)


but what if that is how you are with your partner,totally, but all that is missing is that little extra " je ne sais pas" that the other person gives you?
#31
FilthAndFurry
Chances are, they are. People can't just turn off their natural attraction to someone because they get married or have kids.


I think you are right here.......being found sexually attractive by someone else is a huge ego boost, I dont think anyone can deny that.....I guess its just a matter how far you let things proceed.
#32
realfriendlyman
I was actually thinking about this, this very morning, when I happened to flick through the channels to see an affair on Corry.

I honestly believe a lot of people cheat because it comes across as exciting on these soaps and the thrill of something different is an escapism from mundane lives. :)

The soaps are to blame. :lol:



you know as bizzare as it seems, you could well be right about that.
#33
FilthAndFurry
Chances are, they are. People can't just turn off their natural attraction to someone because they get married or have kids.


They can't turn it off but while being in a relationship, I have been asked out quite a few times and even though they are attractive, I just don't give it a second thought. :)

bitseylango
but what if that is how you are with your partner,totally, but all that is missing is that little extra " je ne sais pas" that the other person gives you?


And what's that little bit extra that's missing entail? :whistling:

bitseylango
I think you are right here.......being found sexually attractive by someone else is a huge ego boost, I dont think anyone can deny that.....I guess its just a matter how far you let things proceed.


It is an ego boost but that's all it should be and anyone in a relationship that doesn't want to jeopordise what they have, should be able to withstand any temptation. :)
#34
richp
you know as bizzare as it seems, you could well be right about that.


I know it's a bit out there but at least someone thinks I'm right....for once recently. :p
#35
A lot of great thoughts here.....of which I shall pass on to the party in question.
and to snowtiger........I think I may have a read of that book, sounds intriguing!
#36
bitseylango
A lot of great thoughts here.....of which I shall pass on to the party in question.
and to snowtiger........I think I may have a read of that book, sounds intriguing!


Give me the short version when you're done. :p
#37
everything is possible!
but,
which one would you going to save if house is on fire?
which one will make you regreat on you death bed if you give up?
#38
I love each of my children in a different way.. I don't think we love any two people in the same way as we go through life. That's not to say we love one more or less than another, love is unquantifiable, we love each in different ways as different people fulfil different needs within us.

However i dont think it fair to be IN love with more than one person... it'd be a cruelty to everyone involved and doesn't just effect the two/more individuals involved but whole families.
#39
I think it is perfectly natural to be in love with someone, but find someone else attractive or even have a connection/chemistry with them. This initial feeling can be mistaken for love but its most likely lust/connection.

I love my husband very much, gone through the whole lust thing and now we are best friends, lovers and husband and wife.

I am sure i would connect/lust many people, but to me thats all it is, a connection, It wouldnt be love and certainly not anything i would risk my marriage for.

People can confuse emotions when your wrapped up being given attention, stomach flutters from someone else.....
banned#40
pcnutta
I think it is perfectly natural to be in love with someone, but find someone else attractive or even have a connection/chemistry with them. This initial feeling can be mistaken for love but its most likely lust/connection.

I love my husband very much, gone through the whole lust thing and now we are best friends, lovers and husband and wife.

I am sure i would connect/lust many people, but to me thats all it is, a connection, It wouldnt be love and certainly not anything i would risk my marriage for.

People can confuse emotions when your wrapped up being given attention, stomach flutters from someone else.....


I think it's romantic folly to pretend that your relationship is in some way 'unique'.

I think it might be scary for some to think there is someone else (probably a few) who they would have a stronger connection with than their current partner.

It's kinda like looking at the cards that weren't dealt in case you cashed in too early.

I reckon the vast majority of people getting married convince themselves that their going to 'last forever', but it's essentially a coin toss as to whether you will or not.

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