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Japanese very good!

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A Japanese businessman who was engaged in a particular corporate meeting held in England. As he stepped out of the airport, he hailed the local cab, boarded it and requested to be driven to his London… Read More
v2drinkers Avatar
8y, 9m agoPosted 8 years, 9 months ago
A Japanese businessman who was engaged in a particular corporate meeting held in England. As he stepped out of the airport, he hailed the local cab, boarded it and requested to be driven to his London Hotel.

As the cab was attempting to make its way out to the main road, a ramming and screeching sound was heard. Out passed a Honda Civic CRX Turbo screaming away from the main junction. The Japanese remarked. "Mmmm, Honda! Made in Japan, very powerful, very fast!"

Some distance, a white executive sedan whoosh pass along side the cab a high cruising speed. "Ahhh, Toyota! Also made in Japan, very fast. Also very good, very fast!"

The cab-driver upon hearing the comments, look through the rear mirror and was getting quite annoyed over the Jap's proud attitude. At that moment again, another car came ramming fast, overtaking and cutting every car ahead of it. "Mmmm, Mitsubishi! Also Japan, also very good, very fast. Mmmm!"

It was not long after reaching the designated hotel, the cab halted in front of the lobby door, the cab-driver stared at the meter and proclaimed. "That will be £239.40, sir!"

"What?", the Jap was astonished. "The airport very near to hotel."



"Er, sir, this meter is NEC, made in Japan, very good and 'very fast'."
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8y, 9m agoPosted 8 years, 9 months ago
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#1
ha nice :P that was good :D + rep :P
3 Likes #2
nice one

A real story by a Man who was standing in a queue in Tesco's.........

I have 2 dogs & I was buying a large bag of Winalot in Tesco and was standing in the queue at the till.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Winalot Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and the way that it works is to load your trouser pockets with Winalot nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the queue was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned. I told her no, it was because I'd been sitting in the road licking my b*lls and a car hit me.

I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard as he staggered out the door.

Stupid cow..........why else would I buy dog food?
banned#3
alnbowes
nice one

A real story by a Man who was standing in a queue in Tesco's.........

I have 2 dogs & I was buying a large bag of Winalot in Tesco and was standing in the queue at the till.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Winalot Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and the way that it works is to load your trouser pockets with Winalot nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the queue was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned. I told her no, it was because I'd been sitting in the road licking my b*lls and a car hit me.

I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard as he staggered out the door.

Stupid cow..........why else would I buy dog food?


:giggle:
#4
v2drinkers
PMSL rep for that:thumbsup:


Why thanks
have another

A man finally gets his prescription for Viagra.
Eager to try it out, he takes one as soon as he gets home, and waits for his wife to come home from work, but in his excitement he forgets and leaves the package open on the table and his cockatiel eats all of them. Seeing the results and panicking the man grabs the bird and stuffs him into the freezer to cool off.
Unfortunately, his Viagra kicks in just as his wife comes home and it is hours later before he remembers the cockatiel. He runs and looks in the freezer expecting the worst, only to find the bird breathing heavily, drained with sweat and totally exhausted.
“What happened?” the man asks. “You were in there for hours and yet you’re not only alive but you’re sweating like crazy?”

The cockatiel pants, “Man, have you ever tried to pry apart the legs a frozen chicken?” :whistling:
#5
OK, joke thread it is then!

Paddy's pregnant sister was in a terrible car accident and went into a
deep coma.

After being in the coma for nearly six months, she wakes up and
sees that she is no longer pregnant.

Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby.

The doctor replies, 'Ma'am, you had twins.... a boy and a girl. The babies are fine, however, they were poorly at birth and had to be christened immediately so your brother Paddy came in and named them.

The woman thinks to herself, ' Oh suffering Jesus, no, not me brother, he's a fecking clueless idiot...

Expecting the worst, she asks the doctor,' Well, what's my daughter's name?'

' Denise' says the doctor.

The new mother is somewhat relieved, 'Wow, that's a beautiful name, I guess I was wrong about my brother', she thought....'I really like Denise '

Then she asks, ' What's the boy's name?'

The doctor replies ' Denephew

(And i've got family in Ireland before anyone starts with the "English Racist" stuff!! :lol:)
#6
alnbowes
Why thanks
have another

A man finally gets his prescription for Viagra.
Eager to try it out, he takes one as soon as he gets home, and waits for his wife to come home from work, but in his excitement he forgets and leaves the package open on the table and his cockatiel eats all of them. Seeing the results and panicking the man grabs the bird and stuffs him into the freezer to cool off.
Unfortunately, his Viagra kicks in just as his wife comes home and it is hours later before he remembers the cockatiel. He runs and looks in the freezer expecting the worst, only to find the bird breathing heavily, drained with sweat and totally exhausted.
“What happened?” the man asks. “You were in there for hours and yet you’re not only alive but you’re sweating like crazy?”

The cockatiel pants, “Man, have you ever tried to pry apart the legs a frozen chicken?” :whistling:


alnbowes
A man finally gets his prescription for Viagra.
Eager to try it out, he takes one as soon as he gets home, and waits for his wife to come home from work, but in his excitement he forgets and leaves the package open on the table and his cockatiel eats all of them. Seeing the results and panicking the man grabs the bird and stuffs him into the freezer to cool off.
Unfortunately, his Viagra kicks in just as his wife comes home and it is hours later before he remembers the cockatiel. He runs and looks in the freezer expecting the worst, only to find the bird breathing heavily, drained with sweat and totally exhausted.
“What happened?” the man asks. “You were in there for hours and yet you’re not only alive but you’re sweating like crazy?”

The cockatiel pants, “Man, have you ever tried to pry apart the legs a frozen chicken?” :w00t:


Been drinking today. :whistling:
#7
:giggle:

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