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Job interview !!!!!

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A guy goes to the Post Office to apply for a job.The interviewer asks him, 'Are you allergic to anything?'He says 'Yes - just caffeine''Have you ever been in the service?''Yes,' he says. 'I was in Ira… Read More
taasda Avatar
9y, 1w agoPosted 9 years, 1 week ago
A guy goes to the Post Office to apply for a job.The interviewer asks him, 'Are you allergic to anything?'He says 'Yes - just caffeine''Have you ever been in the service?''Yes,' he says. 'I was in Iraq for two years.'The interviewer says, 'That will give you 5 extra points towardemployment,' and then asks, 'Are you disabled in any way?The guy says, 'Yes 100%...an IED exploded near me and blew my testicles off.'The interviewer tells the guy, 'O.K. In that case, I can hire you rightnow. Normal hours are from 8 AM to 4 PM. You can start tomorrow at 10:00 - And plan on starting at 10 AM every day.'The guy is puzzled and says, 'If the hours are from 8 AM to 4 PM, whydon't you want me to be here before 10 AM?'This is a government job,' the interviewer says. 'For the first two hours we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our balls. No point in you coming in for that.'
taasda Avatar
9y, 1w agoPosted 9 years, 1 week ago
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#1
Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an impressive new book.

It's called 'Ministers Do More Than Lay People.'



Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary.



The difference between the Pope and your boss... the Pope only expects you to kiss his ring.




My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it is gone.




The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom.




I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once. The seat folded up, the drink spilled and that ice, well, it really chilled the mood.




It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable. Now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too.


A husband is someone, who after taking the trash out, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole house.



My next house will have no kitchen -- just vending machines and a large trash can.



A blonde said, 'I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off.I was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn signal fluid.'




My neighbor was bit by a stray rabid dog. I went to see how he was and found him writing frantically on a piece of paper. I told him rabies could be treated, and he didn't have to worry about a Will. He said, 'Will? What Will? I'm making a list of the people I want him to bite.'


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An Italian workman wants a job, but the foreman won't hire him until he passes a little math test.



'Here's your first question,' the foreman said. 'Without using any numbers, represent the number 9.'

'Withouta numbers?' the Italian says. 'Datsa easy' and he proceeds to draw three trees.

'What's this?' the boss asks.

'Ava you gotta no brain? Tree and tree and tree makes a nine,' says the Italian.

'Fair enough,' says the boss. 'Here's your second question. Use the same rules, but this time the number is 99.'

The Italian stares into space for a while, then picks up the picture that he has just drawn and makes a smudge on each tree. 'Ere you go.'

The boss scratches his head and says, 'How on earth do you get that to represent 99?'

'Eacha da trees is a dirty now. So, izza dirty tree, and dirty tree, and dirty tree. Datsa a 99.'

The boss is getting worried that he's going to actually have to hire the Italian, so he says, 'All right, last question.' Same rules again, but represent the number 100.'

The Italian stares into space some more, then he picks up the picture again and makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says, 'Ere you go. One hundred.'

The boss looks at the attempt. 'You must be nuts if you think that represents a hundred!'

The Italian leans forward and points to the marks at the base of each tree and says, 'A little doga come along and shitta by eacha tree. So now you gotta dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, and dirty tree and a turd, data makes on hundred. So, whenna I start?'
#2
A husband is someone, who after taking the trash out, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole house.

How TRUE is this? lol
#3
I clean the whole house and make the mistake of not emptying the rubbish... no points for me. Kinda reminds me of my parents first house - the roof had collapsed and it was structurally unsound - falling down. My dad worked on it for months, rebuilding, new beams, roof and tiles. My mum was working and would help out where she could but as the house slowly got better and better no one noticed.

One weekend my mum went through the house and repainted everything and was fighting off comments about how amazing it looked and how the paint had made such a massive difference...

tut!
#4
mrs moon 53
A husband is someone, who after taking the trash out, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole house.

How TRUE is this? lol


VERY TRUE!!!! :thumbsup:
#5
i lika da italian
#6
Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an impressive new book.
It's called 'Ministers Do More Than Lay People.'

Very good :thumbsup:

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