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joke

wickedteen Avatar
6y, 8m agoPosted 6 years, 8 months ago
i called to get my heating fixed,
when i asked what time the engineer would be out,
they said "between 9 am and 7 pm",
i asked if they could be more specific,
they said "no!",
then they asked where i live,
i said "between cambridge and london!"
wickedteen Avatar
6y, 8m agoPosted 6 years, 8 months ago
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#1
I got a call from British Gas today, they said my bill was 'Outstanding' :-) I said, aww thanks, and hung up


wife comes home and says ` i dont know if im coming or going?!?!` her hubby replys ` judging by your face your `GOING` coz when your coming you look like a window licker!



Blonde hears the postman at her door, she goes to see a bunch of letters on the mat....a large envelope saying `PLEASE DO NOT BEND` she is still standing there wondering how to pick it up!
#2
police stopped me last night and asked where i was between 5 & 11? i said Primary school



Blonde waiting at bus stop with her friend, see`s a lorry go passed loaded up with rolls of turf. Blonde says `when i win the lotto im going to do that` friend asks `what`s that then?` Blonde replies ` send the lawn away to be cut.`



Two men drunk stumble past a bus depot & decide to steal a bus to get home. 20 mins pass and 1st man shouts to 2nd `whats taking so long?` 2nd man - `cant find number 7 bus!` 1st man replies, ` just get number 9, we can walk from the round about`



since my mother in-law went abit senile, all she does all day is stare through the window....so sad. One day if it gets too cold i may let her back in.



Do you know anyone that would want a 60 inch plasma TV for 100 quid? Volume button don't work, at a price like that, you can`t turn down.
#3
Haha, some good ones there! :)

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