Joke and One Liner thread - lets have a laugh (cleanish pls) - HotUKDeals
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Joke and One Liner thread - lets have a laugh (cleanish pls)

DialMfor Avatar
banned5y, 11m agoPosted 5 years, 11 months ago
Lets have a chuckle, its all recession this and protest that - light hearted thread for daily giggles . . .
DialMfor Avatar
banned5y, 11m agoPosted 5 years, 11 months ago
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banned#1
Last night I settled down to eat some Ben and Jerry's with a DVD.

I couldn't be arsed to wash a spoon.
banned 3 Likes #2
When my girlfriend told her friends she was going to grab a box of tissues and head off to bed, she got sympathy.


When I said that, I got disgust.
#3
A guy in the pub tried to sell me 4 haunches of venison.

I told him that's too dear!
1 Like #4
MULTI ALERT
2 Likes #5
inb4 the "whats a multi" oO

Edited By: bossyboots on Dec 16, 2010 23:21
#6
OP whats your other username?
banned#7
cannyscot
A guy in the pub tried to sell me 4 haunches of venison.I told him that's too dear!
should be 'two dear' (_;)
banned 2 Likes #8
i bought my snowman in the other night after i heard about the recent theft of one. wish i hadnt now,come down in the morning to find he had ******* all over the floor and done a runner.

Edited By: cuzzy on Dec 17, 2010 00:20: Don`t bypass swear filter
#9
goldmax
cannyscot
A guy in the pub tried to sell me 4 haunches of venison.I told him that's too dear!
should be 'two dear' (_;)


lol was gonna post that but felt rotten!!
#10
Police Station toilet stolen....Cops have nothing to go on.
2 Likes #11
'Tis the season of the multi, fa la la la la, la la la la http://yoursmiles.org/tsmile/nysanta/t7701.gif
4 Likes #12
Police in Niddrie (rough area of Edinburgh) have arrested 3 of 4 well known Islamic terrorists: Bin Snortin, Bin Dealin and Bin Thievin. There was no sign of Bin Workin.
1 Like #13
Why do Morris Dancers were bells?





So they can annoy the visually impaired as well.
#14
richp
'Tis the season of the multi, fa la la la la, la la la la http://yoursmiles.org/tsmile/nysanta/t7701.gif


lmao!
1 Like #15
zurich
Police in Niddrie (rough area of Edinburgh) have arrested 3 of 4 well known Islamic terrorists: Bin Snortin, Bin Dealin and Bin Thievin. There was no sign of Bin Workin.


The Jehovah's Witnesses in Niddrie call themselves Jehovah's Bystanders...


...you don't get witnesses in Niddrie!
banned 2 Likes #16
My disabled brother has invited me to a charity christmas party in aid of women born without legs,apparently the place will be crawling with pu...
banned#17
bossyboots
goldmax
cannyscot
A guy in the pub tried to sell me 4 haunches of venison.I told him that's too dear!
should be 'two dear' (_;)
lol was gonna post that but felt rotten!!
Hi bossy
1 Like #18
Was passing through Leicester and saw a baker's shop window with eight pies stacked on on top of the other.

Apparently it was a wedding cake!!
#19
Let me know when we can lower the tone........
#20
goldmax
bossyboots
goldmax
cannyscot
A guy in the pub tried to sell me 4 haunches of venison.I told him that's too dear!
should be 'two dear' (_;)
lol was gonna post that but felt rotten!!
Hi bossy


Hi Goldmax :) pm me and tell me how I can stop this whistling noise my windows are making when the wind is whipping up outside! Its freaking me out!
4 Likes #21
what do you call a messed up HUKD that has been bombarded with too many useless additions?

http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcR2-K57Ug9aA8EECRu-5CJO9CnjoHSjFS51LYu8E3lxHEqFiIXsbg UKD
#22
cannyscot
Was passing through Leicester and saw a baker's shop window with eight pies stacked on on top of the other.

Apparently it was a wedding cake!!


I'd move your joke further north. In Leicester, you're more likely to have an 8 tier Onion Bhaji.
#23
DialMforMammary
When my girlfriend told her friends she was going to grab a box of tissues and head off to bed, she got sympathy.When I said that, I got disgust.

:D


cannyscot
Why do Morris Dancers were bells?So they can annoy the visually impaired as well.


Good one :D
#24
I was walking through Curry's the other day and I spotted a 42" LCD for £50, it was faulty but all that was wrong with it was a faulty volume button that was stuck on high, I thought to myself can't turn that down.

------------

Just had a letter back from head office at Screwfix, apparently they are not a dating agency after all.

-------------

Christmas day is like any other day to me, sat at the table with a fat bird that doesn't gobble any more.




Edited By: greg_68 on Dec 17, 2010 11:20

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