JOKE: When girls don't put out - HotUKDeals
We use cookie files to improve site functionality and personalisation. By continuing to use HUKD, you accept our cookie and privacy policy.
Get the HUKD app free at Google Play

Search Error

An error occurred when searching, please try again!

Login / Sign UpSubmit

JOKE: When girls don't put out

samy26 Avatar
banned8y, 7m agoPosted 8 years, 7 months ago
Girls Please have a sense of humor!

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.


One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, I dont feel like it, I just want you to hold me.

I said, WHAT??!! What was that?!

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear

Youre just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, Cant you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldnt decide which one to take, so I told her wed just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, Lets get a pair for each outfit.

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesnt even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, Thats fine, honey. She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, I think this is all, dear, lets go to the cashier.

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, No honey, I dont feel like it.

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, WHAT?

I then said, Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. Youre just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, Why cant you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?

Apparently Im not having sex tonight either but at least that ***** knows Im smarter than her.
samy26 Avatar
banned8y, 7m agoPosted 8 years, 7 months ago

All Comments

(17) Jump to unreadPost a comment
:thumbsup::w00t::w00t:brilliant, rep added
:thumbsup:brilliant, rep added
Lol, good one!
love it
thats so so clever , rep added .
Well as a girl, I thought it was crude but effective... you showed her exactly how you felt when she refused you and now perhaps you may both understand each other a little bit better.

I hope anyway ... either that or she is going to dump you!
very good
You wish!:p
lol! excellent
omg is this real ?
omg is this real ?

omg, is that question real ?

It's as old as the hills, but funny enought the 1st time :thumbsup:
Absolutely brilliant, pmsl :-D
Thats Great!!
ahahahahahaha :)

oh, dear. very good. :)

Post a Comment

You don't need an account to leave a comment. Just enter your email address. We'll keep it private.

...OR log in with your social account

...OR comment using your social account

Thanks for your comment! Keep it up!
We just need to have a quick look and it will be live soon.
The community is happy to hear your opinion! Keep contributing!