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Three friends die in a ...
Three friends die in a car accident and they go to an orientation in heaven. They are all asked, "When you are in your casket and your friends and family are mourning you, what would you like to hear them say about you?"
The first guy says,"I would like to hear them say that I was a great doctor of my time, and a great family man."
The second guy says, "I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and a schoolteacher who made a huge difference in our children of tomorrow."
The last guy replies, "I would like to hear them say... LOOK, HE'S MOVING!"
Bush and Cheney Lunch
President Bush and Dick Cheney are having lunch at a resteraunt. Cheney orders the heart-heathly salad. Bush leans over to the waitress and says, "Honey could I have a quickie?"
The waitress was horrified. "Mr. President," she says, "I thought your administration was bringing a new era of moral rectitude to the White House. Now I see what a false promise the was."
And she marches off in a huff. Cheney leans over and says,
"George, it's pronounced quiche."