Apologies to any that find this post a waste but just thought I would put it up to help put a smile on everybodies face (hopefully)
I am signed up to a sight that notifies by email of anyone giving away unwanted items or requesting items they need and this email has just come in, and for the life of me I can't decide if it is a total p*** take or if it is genuine - or is the sender just loopy.
It is posted below as it came in.
" I have several very large bin bags of pencil sharpener shavings which I have been collecting for over 15 years. They come in a variety of shapes, sizes and lengths. These may be of use to amateur gardeners as an effective soil mulch and weed suppressant, home crafters as a useful cushion-filler or pet owners as an environmentally friendly alternative to cat litter or scattered as bedding for hamsters. These versatile shavings could also be used as emergency confetti, pressed into briquettes for a wholesome breakfast cereal, sprinkled as a dandruff-simulator in training salons, individually tippexed and used as fake snow, sewn together to make a buoyant life jacket, used to help absorb vomit incidents, spread across apple slices for dehydrating, pressed between heavy books to form chipboard which can then be used to make kitchen and bedroom cabinets, added to paint to make a wood-chip effect or boiled up with onions to form a wholesome and satisfying soup.
Hope they're useful for someone!
I assure you this is not a joke!