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Just found out my family members got married without even telling me

stefor Avatar
7y, 5m agoPosted 7 years, 5 months ago
I'm absolutely gutted. Just found out that about 3 weeks ago my nephew got married and also my niece (his sister) got married last Sunday.

I wouldn't mind if they were the other side of the world, but they only live about 10 miles from me. I'm not moaning as I think I should have been invited to the wedding, but thought my sister would have at least phoned to tell me so I could have got them presents and a card.

My wife always thought that my sister didn't like her and seemed to look down on her. I'm now agreeing with her thoughts now as over the last 10-15 years my side have grown further and further away from me and my wife's family have taken me in more. They are so close, if anyone has any difficulties they all rally to help.

My family won't even phone back if I leave a message. My mother lives one bus journey away from me, but has never been to my home, yet she can go to my sisters, which is 3 buses each way.

Phone calls are the same, I never get phone calls from them, but get, "oh, you've remembered my number have you. Or, hello stranger" if you call her.

Guess it's now time to stop trying and be thankful my wife's family are nice people.
stefor Avatar
7y, 5m agoPosted 7 years, 5 months ago
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[mod]#1
Inbreeding is illegal.............bad news. :-D
#2
sounds like my family, O;H family are great thou bar 1
#3
OMG, I should have known some of you'd read it like that, LOL. I sat here for 15 minutes trying to word it so the Inbreed gags wouldn't surface.:thumbsup:
#4
I hope it was two weddings. :thinking:
#5
thesaint
I hope it was two weddings. :thinking:


LOL, I'd have to be a long wedding with three weeks between them.
[mod]#6
Sorry :oops: lol

Sounds sadly like your best out of it as they'll be round as soon as they need something but ignore you the rest of the time. :-(
#7
I would be miffed if my niece/nephew got married without telling me too. I know how you feel though about being let down by family though. Not one member of my family visited let alone help when my house flooded Oct last year. Yet I am expected to drop everything (like the other day) to take my Mum to Drs. Only ever get in contact when they want something from me.

At least we can choose our friends :) I have great friends and I hope you do too :)
#8
Syzable
Sorry :oops: lol

Sounds sadly like your best out of it as they'll be round as soon as they need something but ignore you the rest of the time. :-(


You're not wrong mate. Last year my sister needed a website creating for a vila she's got over in Lanzarote. For 2 weeks she was phoning daily and coming round. Once it was setup, didn't see or hear from her again. The web design was handed over to someone else to manage after I sorted all out.
#9
my mum and stepdad got wed on Monday without telling me :roll:
#10
That is totally out of order - it's not like they could have forgotten to tell/invite you to 2 weddings but if it's at a point where neither wedding (each would have taken ages to arrange) was even mentioned, then their attitude leaves a lot to be desired.

You don't deserve to be treated like that and I am sorry that you have been, just appreciate your surrogate family instead who are willing to reciprocate :)
#11
I wouldn't care to be honest,
#12
screw them (not literally), if they dont wan tot talk to you its their loss :thumbsup:
#13
don't worry families are strange,
my dad, his partner, my brother his wife, my sister her kids and my step sister and her kids are all going on holiday tomorrow and i wasn't ask if we would like to go
#14
What's annoyed me the most is I found out because my younger niece mysteriously added me on Facebook a couple of minutes after she's added her sisters wedding photo's. It's like a pee take! Add the photo's then ask uncle Steve to look at them.
#15
macdoona;5657572
don't worry families are strange,
my dad, his partner, my brother his wife, my sister her kids and my step sister and her kids are all going on holiday tomorrow and i wasn't ask if we would like to go


I'm always being asked being the single, childless sister......but I always have more fun getting lashed with mates on hols lol

Have agreed to go on a couple of hols because the kids asked but toldd them expect Aunty Yv to be drunk a lot :w00t:
[mod]#16
choc1969;5657620
I'm always being asked being the single, childless sister......but I always have more fun getting lashed with mates on hols lol

Have agreed to go on a couple of hols because the kids asked but toldd them expect Aunty Yv to be drunk a lot :w00t:


To which they replied.........."MY GOD YOU'RE SOMETIMES SOBER :shock: " ;-) :p
#17
Syzable;5657721
To which they replied.........."MY GOD YOU'RE SOMETIMES SOBER :shock: " ;-) :p


My bad :oops:
#18
choc1969
I'm always being asked being the single, childless sister......but I always have more fun getting lashed with mates on hols lol

Have agreed to go on a couple of hols because the kids asked but toldd them expect Aunty Yv to be drunk a lot :w00t:


If i was single and no kids than maybe they woiuld think i had better things on so wouldn't want to go but i'm not I have 5 kids and a partner so the kids miss out on time with their grandparents aunts and uncle. but has alway been the same so you just get use to it
#19
not as if you were close or else you would have known they were both going to be married- so why do you expect to be automatically invited to the wedding surely its only people they like that they want there and you state that 'My wife always thought that my sister didn't like her ' so now you have found out that it is true - so just be thankful you didnt have to put on a front and pretend to enjoy being there - and you have got out of buying 2 lots of presents for people that didnt really want you there anyway
#20
I don't blame you for being upset about this. It's great to hear that your wifes family is so good. I wonder - if you're own family has an inferiority complex?

Enjoy those great people around you - you obviously appreciate them alot.

I was invited and then univited to a family do, about 2 years after I started dating my husband... I still wasn't good enough. Luckily for me he made a stand and said if I don't go - he doesn't, and I haven't been missed off the guest list since - unfortunately :giggle:
#21
awww hon

you obviously love your family or you wouldnt feel hurt that they didn't tell you about the weddings, so don't burn all bridges yet.

Write a short note to the nephew and neice saying that you hope they had a lovely wedding day and wish them luck and joy in their future together, keep it short simple and positive. Don't express any of your hurt or frustration in this note, then wait and see if you get any form of reply.

If you dont get a reply then decide then if you want to take it further, if you do, I would write a short and clear letter to your Mum just expressing your feelings....

that you love and miss your family and that you're doing well and you're happy and wish they could share your joys and happinesses also.

up to you of course but don't act hastily yet x
#22
Friends you choose ....


Relations are imposed upon you.
#23
ClarityofMind
awww hon

you obviously love your family or you wouldnt feel hurt that they didn't tell you about the weddings, so don't burn all bridges yet.

Write a short note to the nephew and neice saying that you hope they had a lovely wedding day and wish them luck and joy in their future together, keep it short simple and positive. Don't express any of your hurt or frustration in this note, then wait and see if you get any form of reply.

If you dont get a reply then decide then if you want to take it further, if you do, I would write a short and clear letter to your Mum just expressing your feelings....

that you love and miss your family and that you're doing well and you're happy and wish they could share your joys and happinesses also.

up to you of course but don't act hastily yet x


Good advice :thumbsup: Definately don't burn bridges with your family. People make mistakes and things get miscommunicated along the way. It's sad. There may come a time when they need you or you need them.
#24
Stefor and Mac, it must be horrible for you. Both of you are nice helpful people and it does seem deliberately hurtful of your relatives. Luckily you both have happy immediate families so enjoy them and just think what a shame it is that your extended family are missing out.
Stefor, I would send a card to both of your nephew and your niece, saying that you didn't know about the weddings but wishing them all the best. Apart from anything else it might cause a bit of a twinge of conscience in someone.

Nowt so queer ....
banned#25
chesso
Stefor and Mac, it must be horrible for you. Both of you are nice helpful people and it does seem deliberately hurtful of your relatives. Luckily you both have happy immediate families so enjoy them and just think what a shame it is that your extended family are missing out.
Stefor, I would send a card to both of your nephew and your niece, saying that you didn't know about the weddings but wishing them all the best. Apart from anything else it might cause a bit of a twinge of conscience in someone.

Nowt so queer ....


Reported for homophobic references.
#26
guv
Reported for homophobic references.


Reported for being out of date.:whistling:

To complete the quote:

....... as those who don't love everyone no matter what ethnic origin, gender preference or religion.

You have to keep up with the PC!!
banned#27
chesso
Reported for being out of date.:whistling:

To complete the quote:

....... as those who don't love everyone no matter what ethnic origin, gender preference or religion.

You have to keep up with the PC!!


Reported for using a PC instead of a Mac.
#28
guv
Reported for using a PC instead of a Mac.

You can't do that; you haven't got a mac.:w00t:
banned#29
chesso
You can't do that; you haven't got a mac.:w00t:



I have.

Wanna flash?
banned 1 Like #30
Well I've not told one of my Aunties I'm engaged.....??? is that bad but I hardly ever see her or talk to her, my mum will probably expect her to be invited to the wedding though. One of my uncles I would love to be there but my mum will say NO NO NO he's not allowed. Maybe it was something out of their control, other people paying so they felt they needed to appease their wishes?
#31
guv
I have.

Wanna flash?

Is it a plug-in?

lumoruk
Well I've not told one of my Aunties I'm engaged.....??? is that bad but I hardly ever see her or talk to her, my mum will probably expect her to be invited to the wedding though. One of my uncles I would love to be there but my mum will say NO NO NO he's not allowed. Maybe it was something out of their control, other people paying so they felt they needed to appease their wishes?


Start a thread!!:whistling:
Invite who you want; you're a grown up. Tell your Auntie you're engaged; where's the harm?
banned#32
chesso
Is it a plug-in?


No electricity needed. Simply pull apart with two hands.:p

Getting back OT.

When I got married, my sister was invited. If it were now, she wouldn't be and I'd have great pleasure in telling her you have to draw the line somewhere, and I just did, right through your name!:whistling:

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