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Know any good Limericks ?

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There once was an old man of Esser, Whose knowledge grew lesser and lesser, It at last grew so small He knew nothing at all, And now he's a college professor. ------- There once was a lady f… Read More
lesleysherrock Avatar
9y, 4m agoPosted 9 years, 4 months ago
There once was an old man of Esser,
Whose knowledge grew lesser and lesser,
It at last grew so small
He knew nothing at all,
And now he's a college professor.

-------

There once was a lady from Hyde,
Who ate a green apple and died,
While her lover lamented,
The apple fermented,
and made cider inside her inside.

=====

There was a young lady one fall
Who wore a newspaper dress to a ball.
The dress caught fire
And burned her entire
Front page, sporting section and all.
=====

There was a young maid from Madras
Who had a magnificent ass;
Not rounded and pink,
As you probably think---
It was grey, had long ears, and ate grass.
lesleysherrock Avatar
9y, 4m agoPosted 9 years, 4 months ago
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Comments/page:
#1
There once was a young man named Paul
Who used to do tricks in the hall
His favourite trick
Was to spin on his d!ck
And glide round the hall on one ball

There once was an old guy named Bill
Who swallowed an atomic pill
They found his sexorgan
On a farm in Glamorgan
And his balls on a hill in Brazil

There was a young girl of Westhoughton
Who had a long tit and a short 'un
On top of all that
She had a big ****
And a fart like a 500 Norton
#2
There once was a boy from Montreal
Who loved to play basketball
For a team he tried out
But if he made it, I doubt
For you see, he was three feet tall!

----------------

There once was a lady named Lynn
Who was so uncommonly thin,
that when she assayed
to drink lemonade,
she slipped through the straw and fell in!


-----
A wonderful bird is the Pelican.
His beak can hold more than his belly can.
He can hold in his beak
Enough food for a week!
But I'll be darned if I know how the hellican?

-----
#3
A lady who travelled in Spain
Got sick as she rode on a train.
Not once, but again,
and again, and again,
And again, and again, and again.

There once was a man from Great Britain
Who got his head stuck in a mitten
The school children all laughed
As he stumbled 'long the path
Like a lost and distraught little kitten

De dah di di dah di dah
De dah di di dah di dah
De diddly dah
De diddly dah
De diddly diddly dah
#4

There was a young maid from Madras
Who had a magnificent ass;
Not rounded and pink,
As you probably think---
It was grey, had long ears, and ate grass.

haha... love it!
#5
up above the strets and houses
bungle's flying high
opens up his hairy ass and
farts in geofferys eye
#6
Mary had a little lamb
she tied it to a pylon
ten thousand volts went up its ****
and turned its wool to nylon

There was a man called crocket
who wanted a ride in a rocket
the rocket went bang
his balls went clang
and his dick ended up in his pocket
#7
There was a young girl from Rabat,
who had triplets, Nat, Pat and Tat;
It was fun in the breeding,
But hell in the feeding,
When she found she had no tit for Tat.
--
(Contributed by Terry Walsh)
http://www.freewebs.com/limericks/
#8
Mary had a little lamb
She put it in a bucket
And every time the lamb climbed out
Mary tried to... put it back in again.

Mary had a little lamb
She also had a duck,
She put them in a locked dark room
To see if they would...get on with each other.
#9
Mary had a little lamb
She also had a bear
I've often seen her little lamb
But I've never seen her bear!:whistling:
#10
There was a young man from Japan
Whose poetry never would scan
When asked why it was
He said "its because
I try & get as many words into the last line as I possibly can"

There was a young man from Taipai
On a slow boat to China one day
was trapped at the Tiller
By a sex-starved Gorilla
And China's a bloody long way !
#11
There once was a young man named John
But knowbody knew where he was from
His real name was Fred
The Chinaman said
He lives down my street in Hong Kong!

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