I have no ideas of the origin of this but I thought it might raise a smile or two!
LETTERS TO THE EDITOR
· What's all this nonsense about that 66-year-old Romanian woman being the world's oldest mum? My mum's 77.
· Peter Andre might look smug in all his wedding pictures, but I'd just like to remind him that, as a Playboy reader, I have seen his wife's minge. He hasn't seen my wife's, so who's had the last laugh? P Boddington, Ringwood.
· Why dont NHS bosses start hiring obsessive compulsives as nurses? Their attention to hygiene and constant hand washing would see an end to MRSA outbreaks in no time.
· Why is it that pubs wont serve me if Im drunk, but McDonalds continue serving them fat f***ers? Its hardly fair.
· Never mind ventriloquists like Keith Harris and Roger DeCourcey, what about Professor Stephen Hawking? I saw him on telly blathering on about galaxies for hours and I never saw his lips move once. Genius
· How come rap artist Dr. Dre can use the 'n' word on his multi-million selling albums and win a MOBO award, yet when I used it at my son's football match I was asked to leave the park? Once again, it's one law for the rich and another for the poor
· The person who coined the phrase "as different as chalk and cheese" obviously hadn't tasted Kwik Save's cheddar.
· They say football is a game of two halves. Not for me it isn't. I regularly down eight or nine pints whilst watching a live game on Sky TV in my local.
· In the 20th Century, Britain only made war with countries whose Capital cities began with the letter 'B' - Germany (Berlin), Argentina (Buenos Aires), Iraq (Baghdad), and Serbia (Belgrade). China changed the name of Peking to Beijing and we bombed their embassy. One hopes we will show a little more imagination in this century.
· These so-called speed bumps are a joke. If anything, they slow you down
· So Sting is able to shag his wife for five hours without going off. I know how he feels. My wife is no oil painting either.
· Alex Ferguson receives two turds in the post each week. What I want to know is, who's sending the other one?