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Lose weight or we'll take all six of your children away , what do you think ?

waterloo Avatar
8y, 8m agoPosted 8 years, 8 months ago
Six young brothers and sisters face being taken from their parents and put into care because they are overweight.
Whats you views on this ?

Social workers have warned they will intervene if three of the youngsters including a 12-year-old boy who weighs 16 stone do not shed several pounds in three months.

The parents have been told they risk losing all their children if there is no improvement in the 12-year-old or two of his sisters aged 11 and three who weigh 12 stone and four stone by June.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=542358&in_page_id=1770
waterloo Avatar
8y, 8m agoPosted 8 years, 8 months ago
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#2
i have to agree that something should be done about it. Its a parent's responsibilty to keep their children healthy, which although presently may not be having much affect on their health its starting them on a bad path!
banned#3
I hope they will all get the help and support they need, a childrens home is not a solution here and cannot believe it has been mentioned
#4
I agree.
#5
That is terrible. My 23 month old is 24 lbs and my 7 month old is 19 lbs, they arent fat at all, just healthy babies. What gives them the right to say what is the right weight for any child. My younger brother has always been on the big side and if all authorities were like this, he would probaby have been in care years ago. He eats healthy and excercises yet he is just a big lad and cant help it
#6
Goes too far IMO, being that overweight is obviously a health risk but you can implement a better diet and such but the Social Workers should be assisting a to put a strategy in place FIRST, cooking classes, exercise classes etc etc. But they won't they would rather the heavy handed approach upset the children which in turn will lead to deep emotional issues and will probably end up making their eating habits worse due to the amounts of stress and upset.

Its a solution that will cause more damage than prevent it, social workers usually do this though, cry wolf and then won't admit a mistake at the expense of lost childhoods and the numerous lives they ruin along the way.
#7
The parents should receive professional help, for their children and themselves. But I do not agree they should be taken into care - unless they were force feeding them or something. Being uneducated does not mean you are a child abuser. Nevertheless, these children ARE being damaged, so something needs to be done. Help, not punishment though.
#8
I get the impression that the "Daily Mail" is just trying to scare people with stories like this. Its none of our business. Its between the family and the health authorities to sort things out.

I hate the Daily Mail. Right wing scaremongering.
#9
I think that the authorities should offer advice on how to eat healthily and exercise so that the children can lose the weight

If the parents choose to ignore the advice then maybe consider taking the kids from them, but at least offer help and advice first

They need to be careful as one of the children is now refusing to eat for fear she is going to be taken from her parents.
#10
sassie
I hope they will all get the help and support they need, a childrens home is not a solution here and cannot believe it has been mentioned


I don't think a childrens home was mentioned.

I worked for Social services a few years ago, and worked with a family that had their son removed because of being too thin. Social Workers do not make these decisions lightly, so I would take what the Daily Mail say with a pinch of salt.

We are supposed to be working for a "Best start" for children, and obesity is not the best.
banned#11
well i chuffin well hope they are going to now stop ever family in the street that are overweight. Mind i suppose stories like this sell papers
#12
Its all about your diet and cheap fast food is the reason for this i believe i cannot imagine the mum cooking a healthy dinner for that lot its being lazy also its cheaper more money for booze and fags.
banned#13
thesaint
I don't think a childrens home was mentioned.

I worked for Social services a few years ago, and worked with a family that had their son removed because of being too thin. Social Workers do not make these decisions lightly, so I would take what the Daily Mail say with a pinch of salt.

We are supposed to be working for a "Best start" for children, and obesity is not the best.


yes because childrens home where got rid of, now they go into foster care, for the children i doubt they would see any difference between the two
#14
thesaint
I don't think a childrens home was mentioned.

Social Workers do not make these decisions lightly,


My mum is a teacher in a special school for EBD (emotional and behavioural difficulties) children and she has reported neglect on a couple of kids in the past for being too thin or various other issues of hygiene or abuse. Did anything get done, no, the social workers did a 'report' and nothing happened. They pick and choose easy targets where the children can be re-homed easily if its that drastic, in the case of neglected EBD kids no one will take them so they stay where they are in their poor family situations, sick IMO.
#15
sassie
yes because childrens home where got rid of, now they go into foster care, for the children i doubt they would see any difference between the two



No, children's homes are still alive and kicking. I worked with young people that lived there all the time.
Having worked with lots of young people, I would dispute that they saw no difference between the two, of course they would prefer to be at home, but sometimes it isn't the best option.


Alfonse
My mum is a teacher in a special school for EBD (emotional and behavioural difficulties) children and she has reported neglect on a couple of kids in the past for being too thin or various other issues of hygiene or abuse. Did anything get done, no, the social workers did a 'report' and nothing happened. They pick and choose easy targets where the children can be re-homed easily if its that drastic, in the case of neglected EBD kids no one will take them so they stay where they are in their poor family situations, sick IMO.


There are good and bad in every proffession, you have no idea what was done in your mum's reportings, as the Social Workers are not obliged to tell her, and if they did, she shouldn't be telling you.
#16
fubarphill
i have to agree that something should be done about it. Its a parent's responsibilty to keep their children healthy, which although presently may not be having much affect on their health its starting them on a bad path!



This is the plain hard fact - the parents are responsible for their own children, and obviously in this particular avenue of care they are failing the children.

Therefore, I agree something should be done, not taken away from their family but, professional guidence, help and advice.
#17
suze
This is the plain hard fact - the parents are responsible for their own children, and obviously in this particular avenue of care they are failing the children.

Therefore, I agree something should be done, not taken away from their family but, professional guidence, help and advice.


I would guess that all avenues have been exhausted.

We had an Intensive Care Team that would deal with things like this. Sometimes, the family either couldn't understand, or wouldn't co-operate.

In these instances, the next step is to do something that is not the desired option, but may have a better chance of producing a better outcome for the children.
#18
thesaint

There are good and bad in every proffession, you have no idea what was done in your mum's reportings, as the Social Workers are not obliged to tell her, and if they did, she shouldn't be telling you.


She does know what happens in the reports because she's a policy writer for how these cases should be dealt with by the Social Workers and Police and has worked hard to try and enforce appropriate action and they have to tell her the findings, not too mention that she just got a an Outstanding on her OFSTED report for this too. As I said the easier targets are less work all round than a EBD child, its absolutely shocking what some parents have got/get away with even when told by another professional.
#19
thesaint
I would guess that all avenues have been exhausted.

We had an Intensive Care Team that would deal with things like this. Sometimes, the family either couldn't understand, or wouldn't co-operate.

In these instances, the next step is to do something that is not the desired option, but may have a better chance of producing a better outcome for the children.


How heartbreaking for the children, parents and those that are trying to help them.

I appreciate though that sometimes as you have pointed out there are no other options left.

The parents really should be taken away and somehow have it instilled into them just how serious a problem this is. But, I guess if parents won't co-operate then this is also not an option.
banned#20
those that ask for help are the easiest targets, the ones that dont get away with all sorts, im not blaming anyone as to be honest i think there is a line that is very hard to cross for social services.
banned#21
thesaint
No, children's homes are still alive and kicking. I worked with young people that lived there all the time.
Having worked with lots of young people, I would dispute that they saw no difference between the two, of course they would prefer to be at home, but sometimes it isn't the best option.


as your not the child you only see it from your side of the fence
#22
kelly_o_fanatic
I think that the authorities should offer advice on how to eat healthily and exercise so that the children can lose the weight

If the parents choose to ignore the advice then maybe consider taking the kids from them, but at least offer help and advice first

They need to be careful as one of the children is now refusing to eat for fear she is going to be taken from her parents.


This is my thoughts exactly, help is need! not putting the fear of having a split family
#23
Alfonse
She does know what happens in the reports because she's a policy writer for how these cases should be dealt with by the Social Workers and Police and has worked hard to try and enforce appropriate action and they have to tell her the findings, not too mention that she just got a an Outstanding on her OFSTED report for this too. As I said the easier targets are less work all round than a EBD child, its absolutely shocking what some parents have got/get away with even when told by another professional.


Being told the findings is different to the social workers telling her what was done.
If they are telling her what they have done, then they are breaking loads of confidentiality agreements, and so your mum shouldn't expect any better from them.

I voiced my concern to children being allowed home on many occassions, when they were subsequently removed from their parents for the 2nd/3rd time, it came as no surprise, but that's the way of the world.
It didn't stop me from thinking that the Social Workers are doing the best that they could in those circumstances though.

Sensationalist rubbish that the Daily Mail write shouldn't stop us from looking at the real problem that face young people in our society. :)
#24
sassie
as your not the child you only see it from your side of the fence


I spent hours with these children every week for months/years, you soon get to find out how they feel, they are not shy. :)
#25
They should be given help in ways of learning to eat healthily,ways of exercise before any other acton is taken,they shouldn't be threatened at this stage unless they start to refuse help.
Call me stereotypical but when I see a lot of children who are overweight,and you see their parents they often are too,there all this talk over it being genetic,fat genes and such but if they all eating the same meals,same food is it any surprise.
#26
Oh we have had social services involvement before as my stepdaughter has severe mental health issues and accused me and my hubby (her dad) all sorts and they had to investigate which i understand, but takes forever to shake them off your back when you done nothing wrong, yet i new someone who was reported on a weekly basis for caning her children and noone even went to see her!!

I asked social services a hypothetical question (due to a conversation in general we were having) when we decided to put my stepdaughter into foster care about when they take kids away, and i was told that even if you beat your child and give them what for and its reported then they still try keep the child with the family and educate for parents not to do so again and of course they keep a close eye on the family, so i guess whats happened is the parents have probably been told and will get the education they need and if they fail to agree to it then they will take serious action against the kids. My boys are underweight, not from lack of feeding as they eat everything they walk past lol...but their dad is the same he was called xylophone ribs when he was young by the doctor as his ribs stuck out all over so my boys are following him and not me thank god as im the opposite, look at a baked bean and put on 6lb lol
#27
Daily Hate? Scare story? Now there's a surprise.
banned#28
thesaint
I spent hours with these children every week for months/years, you soon get to find out how they feel, they are not shy. :)


yes that doesnt make you the child not will it ever give you their eyes, their minds, etc,etc
#29
amcol
yet i new someone who was reported on a weekly basis for caning her children and noone even went to see her!!


I would be interested to know how you know this.

The parent would've been spoken to as well as the teachers at the childrens school/s.
#30
I don't think the youngest boy there is too overweight,if they fed him normal meals,not tons of fried takeaway food and didn't give him tons of junk,he would then start to gain weight slower,and as they start to run round more they loose their baby fat and start to slim down.I think even a lot his age are about that weight away.
banned#31
Mum2Connor&Cerys
I don't think the youngest boy there is too overweight,if they fed him normal meals,not tons of fried takeaway food and didn't give him tons of junk,he would then start to gain weight slower,and as they start to run round more they loose their baby fat and start to slim down.I think even a lot his age are about that weight away.


i think the ones without their weight printed are not classed as overweight
#32
sassie
yes that doesnt make you the child not will it ever give you their eyes, their minds, etc,etc


I am not sure what you are trying to tell me.

I am not a child, but that does not stop me from understanding them.
Unless we get 9 year old Social workers, adults will have to use their skill and judgement.
#33
sassie
i think the ones without their weight printed are not classed as overweight


21 mths - 26lbs,I personally don't think thats too bad,I'd get out my sons health book if I knew where it was to compare.
banned#34
thesaint
I am not sure what you are trying to tell me.

I am not a child, but that does not stop me from understanding them.
Unless we get 9 year old Social workers, adults will have to use their skill and judgement.


I was not trying to tell you anything, i was just saying that you will only ever see what you are allowed to, children carry these things with them, a child at 10 maybe seen as one coping with what is happening that doesnt mean they are or will later in life, to take children away from a loving family becasue they are seen as overwieght may have bigger consequences than the original problem
#35
http://pediatrics.about.com/library/growth_charts/nboysbirth.htm

the 21th mth old is just past 50th centile,if I'm reading it right,he isn't greatly up the chart,if it wasn't for the rest of his family this way,they wouldn't even mentioned a concern about him.The health visitor would say he will slim down as he more and more active,stops daytime nap etc etc
banned#36
Mum2Connor&Cerys
http://pediatrics.about.com/library/growth_charts/nboysbirth.htm

the 21th mth old is just past 50th centile,if I'm reading it right,he isn't greatly up the chart,if it wasn't for the rest of his family this way,they wouldn't even mentioned a concern about him.The health visitor would say he will slim down as he more and more active,stops daytime nap etc etc


that is right, the girl and boy are not obese either, wonder what they would do? take the three other children and leave the other three? take all 6?
#37
sassie
I was not trying to tell you anything, i was just saying that you will only ever see what you are allowed to, children carry these things with them, a child at 10 maybe seen as one coping with what is happening that doesnt mean they are or will later in life, to take children away from a loving family becasue they are seen as overwieght may have bigger consequences than the original problem


A loving family that appears to be over feeding their child to the point of being morbidly obese.

It is in the families hands to change the outcome of their families future, doing nothing isn't an option.

I would bet my house on the fact that they have been offered all sorts of help with exercise and eating healthily.
#38
sassie
that is right, the girl and boy are not obese either, wonder what they would do? take the three other children and leave the other three? take all 6?


They would take the ones that were deemed to be in "Danger".
I worked with a mother that killed one of her children, she was still allowed to have contact with her other child when she was released from prison.

Children are treated as individuals.
For example, the child I mentioned earlier (too thin)had a sister that wasn't removed because the parents treated her okay, and she was thriving.
#39
They must do more than just go off the weight of these children. I agree if all these children only eat junk food, get little exercise or fresh air. It is abuse if this is the case as they are putting their children's health at risk, and putting them at risk of heart disease and diabetes by their late twenties.
Positive parenting classes and learning how to cook healthily and get regular exercise should be on the agenda, the social services should be able to monitor their progress, and if they still allow their children to eat junk then fine, because frankly the kids dserve better.
On the other side of the coin I am very petite and so is my daughter, she is only very slight like me and people assume she is not eating enough, when they couldn't be any more further from the truth!
#40
It can be done, all overweight people just need help and plenty of support.

I did it via weightwatchers.

I lost 4 stn in 2 years. I went from 17stn 9lb to 13stn 7lb.

I was once a 44" waist now i'm a 32/34" waist.

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