made me laugh!!!! - HotUKDeals
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made me laugh!!!!

andymack Avatar
7y, 9m agoPosted 7 years, 9 months ago
sorry in advance...............


A bloke starts his new job at the zoo and is given three tasks. The first is to clear the exotic fish pool of weeds. As he does this a huge fish jumps out and bites him. To show the others who is boss, he beats it to death with a spade. Realizing his employer won't be best pleased, he disposes of the fish by feeding it to the lions, as lions will eat anything. Moving on to the second job of clearing out the chimpanzee house, he is attacked by the chimps who pelt him with coconuts. He swipes at two chimps with a spade, killing them both. What can he do? Feed them to the lions, he says to himself, because lions eat anything.He hurls the corpses into the lion enclosure. He moves on to the last job. Which is to collect honey from the South American Bees. As soon as he starts he is attacked and stung by the bees. He grabs the spade and smashes the bees to a pulp. By now he knows what to do and throws them into the lion's cage - because lions eat anything. Later that day a new lion arrives at the zoo. He wanders up to another lion and says, "What's the food like here?"

Wait for it....



The other lions say, "Absolutely brilliant. Today we had fish and chimpswith mushy bees."
andymack Avatar
7y, 9m agoPosted 7 years, 9 months ago
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#1
LOL!

I liked it.. thank you x x
#2
A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her.

Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket toward the man. He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back.

'Oh my, I am so sorry,' the woman says as she pops her eye back in place....

'Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you,' she says.

They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they go to the theatre followed by drinks. They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams and
he shares his. She listens.

After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap and stay for breakfast. They had a wonderful, wonderful time.

The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy is amazed. Everything had been SO incredible!
'You know,' he said, 'you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?'

'No,' she replies. . .

She says:
'You just happened to catch my eye.'
#3
http://img179.imageshack.us/img179/2241/facepalm2ic7copyrl2.jpg
#4
nice skusey!!
#5
skusey
A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her.

Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket toward the man. He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back.

'Oh my, I am so sorry,' the woman says as she pops her eye back in place....

'Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you,' she says.

They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they go to the theatre followed by drinks. They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams and
he shares his. She listens.

After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap and stay for breakfast. They had a wonderful, wonderful time.

The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy is amazed. Everything had been SO incredible!
'You know,' he said, 'you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?'

'No,' she replies. . .

She says:
'You just happened to catch my eye.'


Oh my god. LOL!
#6
raptorcigs
http://img179.imageshack.us/img179/2241/facepalm2ic7copyrl2.jpg


Rappy thats a gorgeous picture :)
#7
ClarityofMind;4887052
Rappy thats a gorgeous picture :)

thankyou:)
#8
Good jokes! make me laugh, thanks guys
banned#9
raptorcigs
thankyou:)


How modest is your lost arm underneath its other paw?

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