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Making a baby

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Making a baby. There is not one dirty word in it, and it is funny!-- The Smiths were unable to … Read More
martin17 Avatar
8y, 2m agoPosted 8 years, 2 months ago
Making a baby.

There is not one dirty word in
it, and it is funny!--

The Smiths were unable to
conceive children and decided to
use a surrogate father to start
their family. On the day the
proxy father was to arrive, Mr.
Smith kissed his wife goodbye and
said, 'Well, I'm off now. The man
should be here soon.'

Half an hour later, just by
chance, a door-to-door baby
photographer happened to ring the
doorbell, hoping to make a sale.
'Good morning, Ma'am', he said,
'I've come to...'

'Oh, no need to explain,' Mrs..
Smith cut in, embarrassed, 'I've
been expecting you.'

'Have you really?' said the
photographer. 'Well, that's good.
Did you know babies are my

'Well that's what my husband and
I had hoped. Please come in and
have a seat'.

After a moment she asked,
blushing, 'Well, where do we

'Leave everything to me. I
usually try two in the bathtub,
one on the couch, and perhaps a
couple on the bed. And sometimes
the living room floor is fun. You
can really spread out there.'

'Bathtub, living room floor? No
wonder it didn't work out for
Harry and me!'

'Well, Ma'am, none of us can
guarantee a good one every time.
But if we try several different
positions and I shoot from six or
seven angles, I'm sure you'll be
pleased with the results.'

'My, that's a lot!', gasped Mrs.

'Ma'am, in my line of work a man
has to take his time. I'd love to
be In and out in five minutes,
but I'm sure you'd be
disappointed with that.'

'Don't I know it,' said Mrs.
Smith quietly.

The photographer opened his
briefcase and pulled out a
portfolio of his baby pictures.
'This was done on the top of a
bus,' he said.

'Oh, my God!' Mrs. Smith
exclaimed, grasping at her

'And these twins turned out
exceptionally well - when you
consider their mother was so
difficult to work with.'

'She was difficult?' asked Mrs.

'Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally
had to take her to the park to
get the job done right. People
were crowding around four and
five deep to get a good look'

'Four and five deep?' said Mrs.
Smith, her eyes wide with

'Yes', the photographer replied.
'And for more than three hours,
too. The mother was constantly
squealing and yelling - I could
hardly concentrate, and when
darkness approached I had to rush
my shots. Finally, when the
squirrels began nibbling on my
equipment, I just had to pack it
all in.'

Mrs. Smith leaned forward. 'Do
you mean they actually chewed on

'It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if
you're ready, I'll set-up my
tripod and we can get to work
right away.'


'Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a
tripod to rest my Canon on. It's
much too big to be held in the
hand very long.'
Mrs. Smith fainted
martin17 Avatar
8y, 2m agoPosted 8 years, 2 months ago

All Comments

(13) Jump to unreadPost a comment
LMAO - thank you!

i really did lol
very good LMAO
very funny :)
very good, shame about the formatting but made me laugh :thumbsup:
really funny
thank you made me giggle xx
and that's why I gave up door to door baby photo's:-D

funny martin :-D:-D

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