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Men v Women

taasda Avatar
8y, 8m agoPosted 8 years, 8 months ago
NICKNAMES
If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.


EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in £20, even though it's only for £32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.


MONEY
A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he needs.
A woman will pay £1 for a £2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.


BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from M&S.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.


ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.


CATS
Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.


FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.


SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.


MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.


DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the bins, answer the phone, read a book, and get the post.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.


NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.


OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.


THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes.
There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
taasda Avatar
8y, 8m agoPosted 8 years, 8 months ago
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(10) Jump to unreadPost a comment
Comments/page:
#1
http://www.smileyhut.com/laughing/rofl.gif

Oh so true. :thumbsup:
#2
Very true ............... how dare you !! lol;-)
#3
Bang goes your reputation . Lol
#4
Omg I hate to admit it as a woman but its all true, very very funny.
#5
Excellent, except that not all women love cats, so that would be a mistake and I think that there is no such thing as a typical human being, let alone a typical woman and anything half price is more or less a necessity.
Somehow you have confused putting some serviceable clothes on with dressing up; change of any type what-so-ever from a man, well chance would be a fine thing.
What did you say about in bed at night? Worry, children, mistakes!! Have you anything else you would like to say?
You think you may have made a mistake but you'd like to forget about it now?
#6
very very good and very very true....you forgot the thing about mirrors...men look in the mirror and see George Clooney, women look in the mirror and see Bella from the roly polies (only in their minds eye)
#7
NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

lol this one is spot on
when u wake up and look at the woman its like eeek its a ghost! LOLOL
#8
You forgot

A woman can never 'overspend' on a joint bank account

A man can only under deposit!
#9
lol very true!!!! :giggle:
#10
NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.


OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

LAUGH i nearly wet myself :)

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