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Men & Women's English

snowtiger Avatar
8y, 5m agoPosted 8 years, 5 months ago
Men & Women's English
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Women's English

"Yes" = No
"No" = Yes
"Maybe" = No
"I'm sorry." =You'll be sorry.
"We need" = I want
"It's your decision" = The correct decision should be obvious by now
"Do what you want" = You'll pay for this later.
"We need to talk" = I need to complain.
"Sure ... go ahead" = I don't want you to.
"I'm not upset" = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
"Be romantic, turn out the lights" = I have flabby thighs.
"This kitchen is so inconvenient" = I want a new house.
"I want new curtains" = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper...
"I heard a noise" = I noticed you were almost asleep.
"Do you love me?" = I'm going to ask for something expensive.
"How much do you love me" = I did something today you're really not going to like.
"Is my butt fat" = Tell me I'm beautiful.
"Are you listening to me?" = [Too late, you're dead.]
"You have to learn to communicate." = Just agree with me.
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And just so the women can have their revenge!


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snowtiger Avatar
8y, 5m agoPosted 8 years, 5 months ago
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#1
Men's English

"I'm hungry." = I'm hungry.
"I'm sleepy." = I'm sleepy.
"I'm tired." = I'm tired.
"Do you want to go to a movie?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
"Can I take you out to dinner?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
"Can I call you sometime?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
"May I have this dance?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
"Nice dress!" = Nice cleavage
"You look tense, let me give you a massage." = I want to ****** you
"What's wrong?" = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now?
"What's wrong?" = I guess sex tonight is out of the question.
"I'm bored." = Do you want to have sex?
"I love you." = Let's have sex now.
"I love you, too." = Okay, I said it... we'd better have sex now.
"Lets talk." = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me.
"Will you marry me?" = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys.
#2
There you go. You finally got that out in the open.

All of it is so true.
#3
deathtrap3000;2371943
There you go. You finally got that out in the open.

All of it is so true.

Yes there was something very weird going on just now ................. :whistling:
#4
The Smarter Sex (joke)

A woman and a man are involved in a car accident; it's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt.
After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "So you're a man, that's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days."
Flattered, the man replied, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely!" "This must be a sign from God!"
The woman continued, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune."
Then she hands the bottle to the man, the man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.
The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"
The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police..."
#5
Brilliant (as usual from you). xx
#6
Yarp :thinking:

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