Sat at home... the MRS has gone out... and the phone rings.......
The call went like this.......
Call Centre:-"Hello "I'm calling for Microsoft. We've had a report from your internet service provider of serious virus problems from your computer."
Me:- oh...that's bad news.
Call Centre:- Yes, very bad, ...we are here to help fix problem.
Me:- That's good... thank you for calling.
Call Centre:- Please confirm what version of Windows you have?
Me:- Windows 3.1
Call Centre:- sorry.. which version, did you say windows XP or Vista ?
Me:- oh sorry my mistske, Its Windows 3.1.1 for work groups.
Call Centre:- erm.... ok.... What internet browser do you use?
Me:- Netscape Navigator 1.0
Call Centre:- ok
Call Centre:- go to Start > All Programs > Run > and type :- eventvwr.msc
Me:- Where's run ?
Call Centre:- Bottom left had corner.
Me:- nothing is there.... I can see file manger.... ??
Call Centre:- OK, open internet and type http://www.something.com
Me:- says - Done...
Call Centre:- What does it say?
Me:- BBC 2
Call Centre:- sorry, what? have you typed it?
Call Centre:- on the Internet browser ?
Me:-The Internet, how do I do that ? I don't have a computer....
Call Centre Hangs up......