Modern maths in England! - HotUKDeals
We use cookie files to improve site functionality and personalisation. By continuing to use HUKD, you accept our cookie and privacy policy.
Get the HUKD app free at Google Play

Search Error

An error occurred when searching, please try again!

Login / Sign UpSubmit

Modern maths in England!

judderman Avatar
6y, 9m agoPosted 6 years, 9 months ago
Not very PC but has a ring or two of reality



Teaching Maths in 1970
A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.
His cost of production is 4/5 of the price.
What is his profit?

2. Teaching Maths In 1980
A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.
His cost of production is 80% of the price.
What is his profit?

3. Teaching Maths In 1990
A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.
His cost of production is £80.
How much was his profit?

4. Teaching Maths In 2000
A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.
His cost of production is £80 and his profit is £20.
Your assignment: Underline the number 20.

5. Teaching Maths In 2005
A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. Your assignment: Discuss how the birds and squirrels might feel as the logger cut down their homes just for a measly profit of £20.

6. Teaching Maths In 2009
A logger is arrested for trying to cut down a tree in case it may be offensive to Muslims or other religious groups not consulted in the felling licence. He is also fined a £100 as his chainsaw is in breach of Health and Safety legislation as it is deemed too dangerous and could cut something. He has used the chainsaw for over 20 years without incident; however, he does not have the correct certificate of competence and is therefore considered to be a recidivist and habitual criminal. His DNA is sampled and his details circulated throughout all government agencies. He protests and is taken to court and fined another £100 because he is such an easy target. When he is released he returns to find Gypsies have cut down half his wood to build a camp on his land. He tries to throw them off but is arrested, prosecuted for harassing an ethnic minority, imprisoned and fined a further £100... While he is in jail the Gypsies cut down the rest of his wood and sell it on the black market for £100 cash. They also have a leaving barbecue of squirrel and pheasant and depart leaving behind several tonnes of rubbish and asbestos sheeting. The forester, upon release, is warned that failure to clear the fly -tipped rubbish immediately at his own cost is an offence. He complains and is arrested for environmental pollution, breach of the peace and invoiced £12,000 plus VAT for safe disposal costs by a regulated government contractor.

Your assignment: How many times is the logger going to have to be arrested and fined before he realises that he is never going to make £20 profit by hard work, give up, sign onto the dole and live off the state for the rest of his life?

7. Teaching Maths In 2010
A logger doesnt sell a lorry load of timber because he cant get a loan to buy a new lorry because his bank has spent all his and their money on a derivative of securitised debt related to sub- prime mortgages in Alabama and lost the lot with only some government money left to pay a few million pound bonuses to their senior directors and the traders who made the biggest losses.

The logger struggles to pay the £1,200 road tax on his old lorry however, as it was built in the 1970s, it no longer meets the emissions regulations and he is forced to scrap it.

Some Bulgarian loggers buy the lorry from the scrap merchant and put it back on the road. They undercut everyone on price for haulage and send their cash back home, while claiming unemployment for themselves and their relatives. If questioned they speak no English and it is easier to deport them at the government's expense. Following their holiday back home they return to the UK with different names and fresh girls and start again. The logger protests, is accused of being a bigoted racist, and as his name is on the side of his old lorry he is forced to pay £1,500 registration fees as a gang master.
The Government borrows more money to pay more to the bankers as bonuses are not cheap. The parliamentarians feel they are missing out and claim the difference on expenses and allowances.

You do the maths.



;o)
Tags:
judderman Avatar
6y, 9m agoPosted 6 years, 9 months ago
Options

All Comments

(17) Jump to unreadPost a comment
Comments/page:
#1
Wow!

I can't be bothered to read that. Cliffs anyone?
#2
http://www.clipartguide.com/_named_clipart_images/0511-0907-1220-3959_Cartoon_of_a_Guy_Sleeping_Under_His_Desk_clipart_image.jpg
#3
thesaint
Wow!

I can't be bothered to read that. Cliffs anyone?


illegal immigrants, taking jobs, money, debt, political correctness, broken Britain.

Yada yada
banned#4
Jetpac
illegal immigrants, taking jobs, money, debt, political correctness, broken Britain.

Yada yada


quicker to have said, same old
#5
It is more of a series of statements about today's society regarding more problems and unfair laws about doing a simple task. It implies that doing a fair job nowadays is punished and not rewarded as opposed to years gone by.
banned#6
electriclinux
It is more of a series of statements about today's society regarding more problems and unfair laws about doing a simple task. It implies that doing a fair job nowadays is punished and not rewarded as opposed to years gone by.


Old men, ill-informed, complaining.

/thread.
#7
good thread,some very valid points in the OP
#8
thesaint
Wow!

I can't be bothered to read that. Cliffs anyone?


12. cliff

the act of pleasuring a cow then sniffing the load up your nose to draw it through your mouth.
can also be done on a horse.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=cliff&page=2

no fanks
#9
Candidate for the most boring thread starter ever?
#10
they locked me in the cupboard and fed me pins
#11
thesaint
Wow!

I can't be bothered to read that. Cliffs anyone?


- 'PC'

- Muslims mentioned randomly

- /thread
#12
.....yawn...................
#13
boothy
good thread,some very valid points in the OP


Hello Boothy's mate :thumbsup:
banned#14
deek72;7837188
Candidate for the most boring thread starter ever?

LOL - people in glass houses......................................

Have you had a look at your threads in misc lately :)
banned#15
csiman
LOL - people in glass houses......................................

Have you had a look at your threads in misc lately :)


What do you mean 'people in glass houses'?
banned 1 Like #16
I liked it.
#17
csiman
LOL - people in glass houses......................................

Have you had a look at your threads in misc lately :)


Oh? Care to enlighten? Don't remember starting many threads tbh. And if I have they would only be short and boring, nothing like the opening post in this thread.

Post a Comment

You don't need an account to leave a comment. Just enter your email address. We'll keep it private.

...OR log in with your social account

...OR comment using your social account

Thanks for your comment! Keep it up!
We just need to have a quick look and it will be live soon.
The community is happy to hear your opinion! Keep contributing!