A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey.
He orders a drink and while he's drinking the monkey jumps all around the place.
The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs sliced limes
and eats them, then jumps onto the pool table, grabs one of the billiard balls,
sticks it in his mouth, and to everyone's amazement, somehow swallows it whole.
The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?"
The guy says "No, what?" "He just ate the cue ball off my pool table---whole!"
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy, "He eats everything
in sight, the little bugger. Sorry, I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff".
He finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the stuff the Monkey ate,
Two weeks later he's in the bar again, and has his monkey with him. He orders a
drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While the man is
finishing his drink, the monkey finds a cherry on the bar.
He grabs it, sticks it up his bum, pulls it out, and eats it. The bartender
"Did you see what your monkey did now?"
"No, what?" replies the guy.
"Well, he stuck a cherry up his bum, pulled it out, and ate it!" said the
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me", replied the guy. "He still eats
everything in sight, but ever since the cue ball incident, he measures